Friend's Joke to Her Son

[Zozo1990]

I want to know if this is appropriate because I was deeply uncomfortable but then again I'm not sure if it's my own prejudices and my job that makes me feel this is wrong...

My friend, who I've known for a while told me that she and her husband sat down her seven-year-old son and told him they had something very important to tell him. His older sister and younger brother were present, too. They said to him that he was left as a baby on their doorstep and they had to take him in. They don't know who his real parents are. He was crying his eyes out she said and she was laughing as she's telling me this like it's funny. My heart broke for that little boy. I can't beleive she thought that was funny. I assume she told him this is a joke, she didn't say anything else.

She's also told me in the past she wanted to slap him because he was crying in school and wanted his mum and she found it embarrassing. I found her language quite surprising, but I assumed she was obviously a bit stressed and didn't mean she literally wanted to slap him. Because she normally comes across as very calm, but she has a highly controlling personality.

OP that’s horrible. I lived with a grandparent until I was around 7 or 8 and I still remember many years later that one night when I was staying over at my parents the pretended they had no money at all and that I was going to have to go and sweep the streets to earn money. I know it sounds funny to some but I really believed them and also I wanted to live with them so I got dressed and put my coat and shoes on and got the brush and shovel and they just started laughing at me. I still remember it to this day, it was horrible. Your friend is awful.

How can you seriously put both those sentences together?

😢 that’s so awful.

You can log these things with social services. I think you should. It’s not a full on investigation but it goes on file and if something else happens it’s then there to be seen.

My DCs are adopted and when they were naughty my DM used to tell me to say I was going to call social service and send them back. She thought it was hilarious and never understood why I told her in no uncertain terms that if she ever said that to them she would be thrown out of the house.

Some people have a very twisted sense of humour.

Oh my god this has literally made me feel sick reading this. They are abusing him. That poor little boy. Absolutely revolting friend. Please please tell the school and the NSPCC these are the parts that she is telling you they’ll be more. Disgusting. Hope he gets some help.

Please please report,this little boy may be the the scapegoat and she makes him suffer every single day,you don’t know.what about the poor kids found dead everyday killed by their “parents” she sounds a vile piece of work and i wouldn’t trust her one bit.

What 😦

She should be reported or that little boy is not going to stand a chance
Also, I think she's not quite as 'level headed' as she tries to make herself out to be
Poor kid
What about /does she have a partner?

I think about how I would feel seeing my own daughter crying, confused, destroyed by the same 'joke.'

What the hell is wrong with some people!? That is emotional abuse.

Pair of absolute cunts. Abusive cunts.

I am so sorry that happened to you.

That's cruel. She sounds as if she may have a personality disorder.

I agree with this. She's a nasty f'g bitch. Don't think I could be friends with her.. but wouldn't want to break it off so I could keep an eye on her kids

Thank you so much for that

They operate on a "jigsaw puzzle piece" basis. What if school, friends parents, Grandparents, neighbours etc all each have a small individual concern and no-one bothers reporting any of them? Little bits all add up to a bigger picture. You need to report. If it isn't chased up that's their decision to make, not yours.

She wouldn’t be my friend that’s for sure !

I'm in my 50s but I still remember my parents parking outside the local "prison" when I was 7 or younger (I know my maximum age because of where we living at the time).

I can't remember why they were telling me I had to go there, or what happened for them to not take me into the prison.

Years later they 'fessed up that said prison was actually a library. I still don't find it funny.

Why do people have to ask a load of random internet strangers to validate their reactions/opinions etc? Does no-one have enough common sense to say it like it is any more?

That’s horrible, I’m so sorry 😢

I agree. It’s cruelty and the poor child needs help. Such a sad story

Emotional abuse. Fucking evil to do that.

God I'm so sorry about the laughing faces on my previous post everbody!! I meant to put a sad face, as it's heartbreaking to read the op.
I don't know how I didn't notice what I'd done 😪😪😪

Coupled with the highly inappropriate reaction to finding out her son had been crying for her at school, it sounds like this child is being abused.

And emotional abuse can be devastating.

Pretending that you're not your child's parent and then watching them become distressed and laughing about it is revolting.

I'm assuming you told her that.

How can you call this disgusting woman a friend?

Because at the time, I didn’t have the full picture. And because people like her don’t present the way you imagine “bad people” do. She's very calm, controlled. Never seen her shouting/yelling at her kids, ever. Her kids are well-dressed, fed, appear to be polite and doing well academically and live in a tidy, clean house.

I was friends with her because:

She appeared calm, functional, and socially acceptable

She didn’t show these behaviours all at once

I interpreted early red flags generously (as stress, personality differences, cultural differences, etc.)

I have empathy and tend to give people the benefit of the doubt

I also helped her when she was isolated and vulnerable (although now I see her cutting her family off for three years as balck-and-white thinking, someone who has ti be in control and wants things their way)

That's why I was friends with her and that normal human relating.

Most harmful relational dynamics are only recognisable in hindsight, once patterns accumulate. No one meets someone and immediately sees the whole truth. This incident has made me stop meeting her since it happened. As I said, I constantly think about it and feel at unease!