Why do none of my in-laws wash their hands

[mintandcoral]

Need a rant to be honest. Actually sick of their lack of hygiene.

They’ve only arrived today and it’s making my skin crawl. I’ve gone to bed for an early night and I’ve just heard my fil going to the toilet, not flush or wash his hands. A few minutes later, mil comes up. She flushes at least but also, very definitely, does not wash her hands! The toilet is a small toilet along our upstairs landing (separate from a bathroom) and you can hear the tap being turned on very clearly.

We had chicken wraps for dinner, all putting their fingers in the sodding salad. Fil currently has a cold.

Debating whether to say something to my husband but there’s a huge backstory whereby he feels like I’m constantly criticising them, so probably best to keep my mouth shut. I might just passive aggressively repeatedly remind the kids to wash their hands tomorrow.

Maybe I should go full PA and say ‘oh is the tap not working?’ As one of them comes out from the toilet tomorrow?

Im really not worried about germs from my own family. Since I share a bed with my partner and you get germs from your kids no matter what you do. We are very rarely ill so where clearly doing something right. I couldn't even tell you the last time I even had a cold.

Both of them? Allergic to the vast array of soaps we’ve had for the last 10+ years. Pull the other one. I have two different bottles of hand soap in that particular toilet alone.

OK, I'll have one last attempt, but I don't think you're able to understand.

So your kid has a shit. There is fecal matter on the handle/flusher. (Also the seat, the walls, the floor, but we won't go there, we'llkeep this simple.) You touch the flusher/handle.

You wipe yourself. You now have their shit and your piss on your hands. You leave the bathroom.

I'm done now, because you are disgusting to not wash your hands and spread all this round your house, and then take it out with you too on your hands and anything you leave the house with.

As someone said upthread it’s not about germs, it’s about personal hygiene. And not spreading wee and poo particles over all of the surfaces in your house.

Or are you allergic to the water in my house? I've not seen you wash your hands since you've been here 😜

It’s about germs being spread by other people when using the toilet then using the flush and by yourself as well. It’s really not that difficult to imagine this being how germs are spread is
it? Not to mention diseases/infections that are spread from fecal matter into food.

Why would I piss on my hand i don't pee on my hands

This thread makes me not want to touch anything in other peoples houses! Knowing some people are going to the loo and then not washing hands and then probably making food etc!

Do you then handle food?

It’s quite odd to put hands in salad - how does that work?

I have no idea if guests are washing their hands. I don’t listen out for proof.

Yep..,I feel this. I have liquid soap dispensers beside every sink in my house. So, if someone comes in from the garden, having been to the wheely bin, they can wash their hands at the utility room sink, or the adjacent downstairs loo, or even the kitchen sink.

Yet, I regularly have to ‘remind’ my in-laws to wash their hands. I wonder if it’s because it was drummed into me as a child, or maybe because I worked in a hotel whilst in Uni that maybe I’m just more aware….

In future make individual salads, either put them in soup bowls, on their plates ready or in ramekins, for each person, and that takes out the sharing aspect

You will breathe more easily. Do the same with any shared bread, and dips or sauces.

Also encourage handwashing.

I feel so sorry for you. 🤢

People who "only touch the toilet roll..." surely also touch the seat ? I mean do you not put the seat lid down before you flush? You then touch the flush ...

The more I read, the less I want to leave my own house. I certainly don't want to eat at anyone else's house if I can avoid it.

Yet we're never ill because the house is clean, we all bath and shower daily. We all wash our hands multiple times a day. Clean clothes daily. Some germs are necessary.

How do you ‘remind’ them? I seem to be incapable of doing this without sounding patronising or snarky 🙃

’some germs are necessary’- not fecal matter/particles.

I said previously I always wash my hands before preparing food

This is great advice- thank you 🙏

Are you the same poster who couldn't bear to visit her in laws because mother in law doesn't wash her hands before preparing food and it was pointed out that you have extreme anxiety and most likely need professional help with that anxiety ?

We had no food at a wedding buffet once ( evening meal) as my husband, who had gone to check the buffet ( he hates them) saw a man pick up chips or potatoes with his hands…

Although I am a hand washer, I can also understand the pee comments- you really shouldn’t be getting pee on your hands from wiping with tissue but even if you do, it’s not going to hurt you- pee is sterile, it’s just come out your bladder

however, poo is a different ball game and PP are completely right that your bathroom and toilet flush lid etc which you will touch will have poo particles on! Even though most germs don’t have a particularly long life cycle it’s still gross.

Always wash hands after a poo

I agree- it’s odd! They were chicken wraps- and instead of using the serving spoons to serve themselves lettuce/salad they went right in with their fingers.

Yes but you’re touching your husband and children’s germs and fecal matter on the flush etc. when you’re going for a wee