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Original poster

Husband has secret account on Reddit.

100 replies

Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:12

Married to DH for 12 years, 2 children 16 &10. Very happy marriage, or so I thought until this morning. Randomly came across his Reddit account that he has had for 4 years and read lots of comments he has made on other peoples naked posts. A few 'dm me' posts also. He has admitted it all now its been deleted and is currently staying over at a friend's house. Oh, also sent a few dick pics. Is this enough to leave him? Or should I fight to save my marriage?

OP posts:
justsimple · 30/12/2025 21:14

I think this would be enough for me, if he has been hiding this, is he hiding anything else? I think the trust would be gone.

Betty1625 · 30/12/2025 21:14

What do you want to do?
It is totally enough to leave him if thats what you want. Would you be able to trust him of you forgave him? I know i would struggle to forgive

Original poster
Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:20

justsimple · 30/12/2025 21:14

I think this would be enough for me, if he has been hiding this, is he hiding anything else? I think the trust would be gone.

Thats my thoughts exactly. What else is there?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:22

Betty1625 · 30/12/2025 21:14

What do you want to do?
It is totally enough to leave him if thats what you want. Would you be able to trust him of you forgave him? I know i would struggle to forgive

I have no idea. One side I'm ready to call it quits. The other side i feel I should try and make it work after everything we have built together. Been with him since I was 17...im now 38

OP posts:
Bigtreeesss · 30/12/2025 21:28

Should you fight to save your marriage… no

Should your husband be doing everything in his power to make this ok and fight for his marriage - yes

the fact your post is you having to fight tells you a lot - LTB what a creep

Original poster
Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:30

Bigtreeesss · 30/12/2025 21:28

Should you fight to save your marriage… no

Should your husband be doing everything in his power to make this ok and fight for his marriage - yes

the fact your post is you having to fight tells you a lot - LTB what a creep

I suppose what I mean is finding it within me to fight..should I bother? Because right now I dont know whats for the best. We've been sooo happy up until now.

OP posts:
Tigerstone88 · 30/12/2025 21:31

Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:22

I have no idea. One side I'm ready to call it quits. The other side i feel I should try and make it work after everything we have built together. Been with him since I was 17...im now 38

Show quote history

38 is still young. There’s a good chance you’re not even halfway through your life! This man has no respect for you.

Bigtreeesss · 30/12/2025 21:32

Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:30

I suppose what I mean is finding it within me to fight..should I bother? Because right now I dont know whats for the best. We've been sooo happy up until now.

Show quote history

So what is your dh doing to show you its worth your fight?

HopelesslyNaive98 · 30/12/2025 21:34

I’d feel very betrayed. But I’m torn as to whether it would be a total marriage ender for me. If this was truly the only indiscretion, and it was an occasional masturbatory fantasy rather than ongoing correspondence with the same individuals, I MIGHT manage to forgive. If he put up a really good fight. I don’t think you are the one who ought to be fighting for it though.

Original poster
Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:34

Bigtreeesss · 30/12/2025 21:32

So what is your dh doing to show you its worth your fight?

Show quote history

He said he will do anything i need him to do. He is staying at a friend's for a few days. He has deleted the app, and said I can have full access of his phone. Not sure what I want him to do to make it better.

OP posts:
ByPoisedRaven · 30/12/2025 21:36

No-one but you knows if it is right for you to make this your line in the sand. Your DH is the one who needs to fight for his marriage. Also, you don't need to decide now or quickly. Wait for the shock to settle, think, get support and decide when you are sure. No need to rush into anything.

workingcocker · 30/12/2025 21:37

What has Reddit got to do with naked posts?

My DH goes on Reddit…. Do I need to be worried?

Bigtreeesss · 30/12/2025 21:37

Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:34

He said he will do anything i need him to do. He is staying at a friend's for a few days. He has deleted the app, and said I can have full access of his phone. Not sure what I want him to do to make it better.

Show quote history

Ah the phone on which he’s already deleted all incriminating evidence….

there would be no coming back from
this for me - but you need to decide for you

EchoesOfOurDreams · 30/12/2025 21:37

The way you say "oh and sent a few dick pics" like it's an afterthought and a minor thing when that's actually the worst thing about this.

Yes LTB.

Original poster
Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:38

HopelesslyNaive98 · 30/12/2025 21:34

I’d feel very betrayed. But I’m torn as to whether it would be a total marriage ender for me. If this was truly the only indiscretion, and it was an occasional masturbatory fantasy rather than ongoing correspondence with the same individuals, I MIGHT manage to forgive. If he put up a really good fight. I don’t think you are the one who ought to be fighting for it though.

Apparently its only this one app. He has admitted to sendinf dick pics and had a few private chats, but this was years ago. But he would say that wouldn't he? I came across tumblr on his phone when the children were younger. He also kissed someone else in the first two years of being together. But I had forgiven that a long long time ago. Its all creeper back in though

OP posts:
Ohnobackagain · 30/12/2025 21:38

@Ilovepasta23 you say you were happy. If he was happy, why did he do this? Has he explained?

LizzieVereker · 30/12/2025 21:39

I’m so sorry that this has happened to you. He’s a weak, spineless person, not worth fighting for, I’m sorry.

landslide51 · 30/12/2025 21:41

Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:38

Apparently its only this one app. He has admitted to sendinf dick pics and had a few private chats, but this was years ago. But he would say that wouldn't he? I came across tumblr on his phone when the children were younger. He also kissed someone else in the first two years of being together. But I had forgiven that a long long time ago. Its all creeper back in though

Show quote history

Uuurggh the list grows, who knows what else there is. I'd quit while you're still young OP, don't waste any more time on this one's lies and fake promises.

bondsy · 30/12/2025 21:41

I could forgive him if it was an account just for looking at the pictures, although i wouldn’t be happy about it. However messaging and sending intimate pictures really crosses the line for me and I’m not sure I could forgive that. So sorry he’s done this to you OP.

Original poster
Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:41

Ohnobackagain · 30/12/2025 21:38

@Ilovepasta23 you say you were happy. If he was happy, why did he do this? Has he explained?

He thought of it as any other social media. Mindless scrolling and a habit. Possibly addicted

OP posts:
Makemeanonymous · 30/12/2025 21:42

Surely he can still access Reddit on the internet even though he has deleted the app? That's how I view Reddit - only occasionally and I don't have an account.
But he could easily open another account

Original poster
Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:43

Makemeanonymous · 30/12/2025 21:42

Surely he can still access Reddit on the internet even though he has deleted the app? That's how I view Reddit - only occasionally and I don't have an account.
But he could easily open another account

I had to open an account this morning to access the over 18 stuff he was commenting on.

OP posts:
SnowDaysAndBadLays · 30/12/2025 21:44

Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:22

I have no idea. One side I'm ready to call it quits. The other side i feel I should try and make it work after everything we have built together. Been with him since I was 17...im now 38

Show quote history

Do you want to be with someone you don't trust when you're 48?

Original poster
Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:45

workingcocker · 30/12/2025 21:37

What has Reddit got to do with naked posts?

My DH goes on Reddit…. Do I need to be worried?

Thats where he has access to them. As its not your own name its a random username. There is alot of over 18s stuff on there. Not as well moderated as other social media. I have now learnt

OP posts:
Makemeanonymous · 30/12/2025 21:46

Ilovepasta23 · 30/12/2025 21:43

I had to open an account this morning to access the over 18 stuff he was commenting on.

Show quote history

I know you have to have an account to view the over 18 material.
My point was him saying he has deleted the app is pretty meaningless if he can just access the material and open a new account without it? Why would you trust him not to do this as he has proved himself untrustworthy already?