Embarrassed to be English

[Traballi]

Got ancestry results back recently and apparently I'm 98% English, tiny bit of Irish but not even Scottish or Welsh. It wasn't a surprise as already looked into family history and been here for centuries.

I'm actually embarrassed of my English lineage to be honest. What's there to be proud of with our appalling history of colonialism and more recent dallyings with the far right and flag shagging?

I see the British flag up where I live and I honestly cringe. I'm also married to someone who is from a country we have a history of conflict with too so that doesnt help although DH doesnt hate us excessively (won't name country in case outing but with our history of wars/ conflict/ invasion, it could be dozens of places lets be frank)

I guess I've had a different perspective on Englishness over many years through the people I know from overseas and I speak other languages too. I also went to a Catholic school (in England) which taught us about slavery and what happened in Northern Ireland. None of which was nice about the English (teacher was Irish). I'm grateful for these perspectives though as I wouldn't want to be brainwashed into being a blind patriot.

I have friends with strong Irish and Welsh roots and they have a real sense of identity to hold onto with it, ancestral languages that they're interested in and a feeling a pride.

If you're English, it's hard to feel like that unless you're in Tommy or Nige's crew, which makes me even less inclined towards patriotism tbh.

Does anyone else feel like this? It's a bit sad really. I'd love to at least be half something else to cling to that identity instead and ignore the English but.

Luckily my DC is only half English and has two other nationalities through DH, and is being brought up in Wales so will probably feel more Welsh. I'm also obtaining a passport from another country through DH soon and I'll be using that for all overseas travel as soon as I can so I can appear to be from there instead.

AiBU or do others feel like this? Being English just isn't cool.

I don't even really understand what it means to be proud of your heritage. It is what it is.

I’m Welsh - an ancestor’s brother moved to the USA and bought slaves. The Welshman Sir Henry Morgan (the rum company) owned several sugar plantations. Welsh emigrant JP Morgan’s bank allegedly accepted enslaved people as collateral for loans to plantation owners.

My point is that most countries have dark historical aspects, not just England. You can’t help that OP and neither can I.

It should make you pissed off and want to challenge them - would you make jokes about their heritage? Or would that be racist/xenophobic?

OP if you had posted you were proud to be English you would have received exactly the opposite in posts - how people can’t wait to leave - no wonder everyone is going to Dubai - this countries over blah blah blah!

posters are neglecting the size and reach of the empire and that it was largest ever and changed the landscape of continents and introduced negative global economic disparities still continuing today. It dwarfed other European empires and is the largest of all time covering quarter of the globe

the Roman Empire was 2000 years ago not 200!!!! Ffs - no comparison

I don’t think you necessarily need to be ashamed but acknowledge we are beneficiaries now of the wealth and economic stability of Britain through those continents enslavement and sacking of raw materials and continuing global disparity in wealth and historical injustices - it’s sensible and fair to acknowledge it

I think a lot of history is as you say embarrassing
Look at the vikings some countries had cannibals

i haven’t done a DNA test but I’m in the middle of my family tree and so far it’s looking pretty English!

im really proud to be English. I’m proud that my grandads both fought in WW2 and were part of saving me and others from living under Nazi rule. I’m proud of the British sense of humour and friendliness and cups of tea and beautiful countrysides. I’m proud that given where you look elsewhere we have a country of freedoms. I’m proud to be part of a country of leaders in innovation.

This inverted snobbery around being ashamed English is so unbelievably pathetic. So we don’t have a perfect history - so what. That goes for literally every country in the world. Do people get Leftie House Points if they self flagellate over something they have zero control over?

Oh thanks @blankcanvas3❤️ ah it was some Reform bloke complaining about the Common travel area etc but I had thought about it for a while and I've read through the Life in Britain text even though I didn't have to take the test.

Does anyone have nice suggestions on how I might celebrate (should I be successful)?

Afternoon tea? A curry?

it looks like OP is guilt - bragging

I’m so right on / educated / woke !!!

I feel sooooo bad I’m English - boo boo

honestly grow up !!!

don’t waste your breath / time - be guilty about something you have agency / control over

if u genuinely feel so ashamed of being English, living in England, then move … or are there benefits to residing in England that you wish to have, but feel that the guilt - showcasing compensates for ‘putting up with’ such a toxic country -

prize for most ridiculous thread today goes to OP !

That’s prejudice. Full stop.

I do mean this kindly OP, but - get a fucking grip, will you? And consider who fed this 'embarrassment' to you. Because they have fucked you over.

Signed, A Scot

And I’d like to interject that your view of Ireland and Wales may be a bit too romantic OP. Both have dodgy patches in their history, including in recent years.

But, to be fair, Putin is controlling a lot of what goes out in the media there, so you can’t blame the Russian people, as they’re being spoon fed a lot of BS.

Why are English people expected to be contrite about Northern Ireland? It wasn’t the English planting bombs everywhere when I was growing up.

OP - what nationality would you prefer? If you could choose from any of them, what would your ideal nationality be?

Afternoon tea, followed by a curry, then a BBQ out in the rain. Then perhaps a viewing of the 1966 World Cup Final?

Everyone "bitches" to certain extent about other countries. Some have it nearly as national sport. Again, nothing special when it comes to UK

Because if you try hard enough, every bad thing every other country has ever done somehow becomes Englands fault.

ha ha, yes of course.

I bet your DH's country has some less than favourable history too. Or is he Swiss and neutral?

Don't offer your company to those that do not respect you (in any language) It really is that simple.

We all have history, we all have aspects of heritage we wish had not happened. What really matters is who we are today. We are one of the only countries in the world to offer free healthcare, education and housing to all. We are THE only country that has had its justice system replicated all over the world.

Oh come on
the UK were up to all the dirty tricks and planting some of those bombs too no doubt

the carnage was not one sided

What is ‘flag shagging’?

You should learn to like yourself for who you are, and not worry about ancestory dna.I like being english, I don't feel guilty for things other people did, how can you? I find that wierd.
I know I treat other people I meet with respect.
I'm not sure I always liked or missed living in england , but as I don't live there now I miss it.

Thanks for your comment. Nice to see a measured response.

It's true if I'd came on here waving the flags, I'd be flamed for that too! Maybe I'm too far down the self loathing side - I do see that history is complex and England isn't only country with dodgy chapters in the past.

My money is on Irish and therefore blinded by patriotism