Embarrassed to be English

[Traballi]

Got ancestry results back recently and apparently I'm 98% English, tiny bit of Irish but not even Scottish or Welsh. It wasn't a surprise as already looked into family history and been here for centuries.

I'm actually embarrassed of my English lineage to be honest. What's there to be proud of with our appalling history of colonialism and more recent dallyings with the far right and flag shagging?

I see the British flag up where I live and I honestly cringe. I'm also married to someone who is from a country we have a history of conflict with too so that doesnt help although DH doesnt hate us excessively (won't name country in case outing but with our history of wars/ conflict/ invasion, it could be dozens of places lets be frank)

I guess I've had a different perspective on Englishness over many years through the people I know from overseas and I speak other languages too. I also went to a Catholic school (in England) which taught us about slavery and what happened in Northern Ireland. None of which was nice about the English (teacher was Irish). I'm grateful for these perspectives though as I wouldn't want to be brainwashed into being a blind patriot.

I have friends with strong Irish and Welsh roots and they have a real sense of identity to hold onto with it, ancestral languages that they're interested in and a feeling a pride.

If you're English, it's hard to feel like that unless you're in Tommy or Nige's crew, which makes me even less inclined towards patriotism tbh.

Does anyone else feel like this? It's a bit sad really. I'd love to at least be half something else to cling to that identity instead and ignore the English but.

Luckily my DC is only half English and has two other nationalities through DH, and is being brought up in Wales so will probably feel more Welsh. I'm also obtaining a passport from another country through DH soon and I'll be using that for all overseas travel as soon as I can so I can appear to be from there instead.

AiBU or do others feel like this? Being English just isn't cool.

No it’s not perfectly fine to devise a quote from a whole group of people saying they’re “happy about rape”

I stand by it. I will write it again for everyone!

Someone said to me "its weird to feel bad about what your ancestors have done".

I wrote "it is not weird. I think it is more natural to feel bad that our ancestors raped and killed people, than it would be to feel happy that our ancestors raped and killed people".

I wrote that I feel bad that our ancestors raped and killed people.

What is wrong with that? Nothing.

You are picking at that because you cant think of anything else to write

Yet again.

I DIDN'T WRITE THAT.

But that’s not what she meant is it? She meant that it’s more normal to say ‘I’m ashamed of britains colonialism’ rather than ‘I am happy we conquered the world by murdering and raping people’

Thank you!

Quite, although most of the mainstream media seem to have forgotten that small detail. Did they not check his social media before granting him British citizenship?

What is wrong with that? Nothing.

There is something wrong with that, though.

It’s not normal to feel bad about something your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather done.

I don’t feel bad about anything my ancestors have done.

Why would I?

Why should I?

But it isn’t either ‘feeling bad’ or ‘feeling happy’ is it? They’re not the only option. I don’t feel ‘bad’, nor do I feel ‘good’, and I will of course objectively condemn any wrongdoing. Your logical is very childlike.

Empathy? The same reason I feel bad for the jews because of the holocaust, despite the fact I wasn’t alive and had nothing to do with it

You don't have to feel personally responsible.

But do you feel sad when you hear about suffering that happened to others? Any feelings?

But that same logic dictates that England should have a say in Scottish independence. Should it? We didn’t vote in their referendum.

We are not saying that you had personally anything to do with it.

We are saying that people can feel sad about what happened in the past.

I’m agreeing with you!

OP you should leave uk. Why not go to your DH country - I'd like to know?

Oh stop being so utterly ridiculous- half the stuff in the British museum would have been destroyed were it not there. History is littered with Empires, the strong oppressing the weak. People taking the spoils of war. People selling things to the highest bidder.

People are getting really tedious about their lack of intelligence and desperation to criticise one of the greatest countries. The simple answer is, if you don’t like this country or its history, bugger off to the utopia with its perfect history you seem to think exists.

You need to consider the long history of why people in many countries have to leave in the first place - it’s deep rooted in colonialism, slavery and robbing these countries of their wealth and riches which would have helped them develop and prosper in their own right.
This is written in such a twisted way.
My ancestors were desperate to come here, and it had absolutely nothing to do with colonialism. I'm so grateful they were awarded British nationality. The alternative would have been imprisonment, potentially death. And yes, life in 'embarassing' Britain is and was so much better than back there.
As soon as people start using insults and emotive language, it's clear they're not talking about history, but spouting irrationality and pet hobbyhorses.

Sorry I quoted the wrong poster!

We are not saying that you had personally anything to do with it.
We are saying that people can feel sad about what happened in the past.

☺️

Cop on.

If you feel so guilty then do something useful for humanity instead of indulging in mental masturbation on social media. Go volunteer to help the homeless or offer to help a child-line service etc.

I don't think that we need to be embarrassed to be English OP.

We can just not like what happened in the past, and try not to repeat it.
I do think that our past has affected our culture today.

I have met several people in England who are not able to show feelings or empathy for others.

If you ask people from other countries, they often describe the stereotype of English people as "being cold and unemotional"

I don't think that this is our fault. I think that these traits have been passed down to us.
This has been passed down in our culture as the correct way to be. Its not. We need to learn how to show more feelings

Stiff upper lip might help?

No, I’m saying the opposite. It’s right that only Scottish people voted on Scotland’s future.

We would only need a say if it was about us taking them on and the financial burden of that. That wasn’t the case. In actual fact ir would save us money if they left, same as NI.

This. Exactly this 😍

From the OP:

”I'm also obtaining a passport from another country through DH soon and I'll be using that for all overseas travel as soon as I can so I can appear to be from there instead”

Do you think that is a normal response? Pretending to be Dutch (or whatever) because she feels so guilty about British colonialism? It is ridiculously self-indulgent