Embarrassed to be English

[Traballi]

Got ancestry results back recently and apparently I'm 98% English, tiny bit of Irish but not even Scottish or Welsh. It wasn't a surprise as already looked into family history and been here for centuries.

I'm actually embarrassed of my English lineage to be honest. What's there to be proud of with our appalling history of colonialism and more recent dallyings with the far right and flag shagging?

I see the British flag up where I live and I honestly cringe. I'm also married to someone who is from a country we have a history of conflict with too so that doesnt help although DH doesnt hate us excessively (won't name country in case outing but with our history of wars/ conflict/ invasion, it could be dozens of places lets be frank)

I guess I've had a different perspective on Englishness over many years through the people I know from overseas and I speak other languages too. I also went to a Catholic school (in England) which taught us about slavery and what happened in Northern Ireland. None of which was nice about the English (teacher was Irish). I'm grateful for these perspectives though as I wouldn't want to be brainwashed into being a blind patriot.

I have friends with strong Irish and Welsh roots and they have a real sense of identity to hold onto with it, ancestral languages that they're interested in and a feeling a pride.

If you're English, it's hard to feel like that unless you're in Tommy or Nige's crew, which makes me even less inclined towards patriotism tbh.

Does anyone else feel like this? It's a bit sad really. I'd love to at least be half something else to cling to that identity instead and ignore the English but.

Luckily my DC is only half English and has two other nationalities through DH, and is being brought up in Wales so will probably feel more Welsh. I'm also obtaining a passport from another country through DH soon and I'll be using that for all overseas travel as soon as I can so I can appear to be from there instead.

AiBU or do others feel like this? Being English just isn't cool.

They should have a referendum then. Its no skin off most of the rest of the UKs nose i imagine.
I would be more than happy with another IndyRef for Scotland as well, along as they win this time 🤣

Do you think that you should have any direct say over what happens in Scotland? More than the people who do live there? Why, when you don’t live there and have no links to it?

I’m not sure that someone whose said that those proud to be English are happy about rape is in a position to talk about empathy.

Everybody in the world lives in a country that benefits from the oppression of others. How about we all grow up, get over it, and do better today than those in the past?

Deflection.

I know many Irish people. And they all think that what the Catholic church did in Ireland in the past was terrible.

There was a huge compensation scheme
The Catholic church were made to pay compensation to many people.

Again we are not saying that other countries did nothing wrong.

We are looking at what England did wrong in the past

The people of the Republic will have their own views, and are entitled to them. But they don’t get to dictate the future of the people of Northern Ireland. That is for the people of Northern Ireland to determine. It’s absolutely not ok for other people to dictate this, and I’m surprised you could think it was.

Move somewhere else then. Maybe only then will you realise that being English is a blessing. You don’t fear for your life every day, you have access to education, health care and nutrition. I think you need therapy to get over your own negativity!

That was in response to @Linnelaura2

Exactly- it’s Northern Ireland Unionists ( not English ) who want to stay in the Union .

Let's hope the OP doesn't get arrested and thrown in jail

why is it nasty?

There are almost 200 countries in the world. We can’t all care about all of them.

Are Irish people who don’t care for the English nasty??

I’m Welsh (probably at least 75% based on my parents DNA tests and family history), that doesn’t make me proud or anything really, it’s just who I am, I’m Welsh because my parents are, I was born here and live here, that’s more important than DNA.

I think you’re being ridiculous tbh - yes there’s Welsh/English rivalry and historical issues but I don’t hate England or English people, I am married to an English man, my children are half English.

I think the whole being embarrassed to be English thing is stupid, England has a lot of history to be proud of.
You need to stop apologising for stuff that happened generations ago, you didn’t do it, your family didn’t do it (presumably - mine certainly didn’t, DH is from working class ship building & mining roots why should he feel bad about colonialism?).
Would you agree that all German people should be feeling bad about the war and going around apologising about it? No of course not, so why do English people have to apologise for every historical bad thing England did?
There’s nothing shameful about the Union Jack or England flag, I wouldn’t wear either because I feel more Welsh than British, but I don’t think badly of people who do - it’s just their national flag. Welsh flag is everywhere here!

Funnily enough, I can think both are true. I went to Ireland and marched with the women there regarding abortion. I think all of those things that happened are absolutely abhorrent - I was raped as a child by our local priest. I am unable to get justice because of the Irish government. Several of the girls in my village and I are currently fighting this, but making zero progress because of the exceptional lengths the government and church have gone to cover all of this up.

I never said that I should have a direct say in what happens in Scotland.

I was replying to the poster who said that she doesnt care about Northern Ireland at all.

She wrote " Why should anyone with no links to NI care?"

I have no links to Scotland. I care about what goea on there. Im interested in what happens in Scotland

I never wrote that.

Again.

Myself and another poster have pointed thia out to you:

I didnt write that

Stop making up shit

Ah, but she has met an Irish person! Unlike any of us 🤣

Honestly- I think most English people would be happily shot of NI but they have an obligation to the Unionists . If the unionists are in a minority/ or agree to join the south then most English would be perfectly ok with that

Who is that to?

Personally, I have lived in other countries.

I had a better quality of life when I lived in other countries.

I am back in the UK now for a while. It is not better than many other countries. Thats for sure

FYI saying “Deflection” again and again doesn’t invalidate my point.

Why focus on the immutable past when you can change the present for the better?

As for Irish people feeling ashamed - that’s actually relevant. Many turned a blind eye knowing what the nuns and priests were doing, so many Irish people SHOULD feel ashamed. Unlike English people who weren’t around centuries ago who shouldn’t feel ashamed.

Actually we aren’t just looking at what England did in the past. This isn’t a university lecture, there is scope for building on discussion beyond the OP and despite people saying it again and again, nobody can offer an answer to the very reasonable question of “Does this apply only to the English?” Or “What about the good things that the English have done”

Because it is part of the UK and when you don't care you do things like vote for Brexit with no regard at all for the Good Friday agreement and what that means for your fellow UK citizens?

I think everyone is afraid to hold an independence referendum, in case it starts another war.

I have heard English people say before "we don't care what happens in Northern ireland. We never think about it"
**
Why?

Because it doesn’t affect them?

Most people don’t spend time ruminating over things that don’t affect them.

Nor do they tend feel bad or collectively responsible for events that happened centuries before their birth or for global wealth inequality.

That is pathological.

Did you post once about an Italian boss being better than your English boss? Your posts on views about the UK seem familiar.

Yep. Be angry at folk still alive guilty of all kinds of horrors not 'The Engllsh' for centuries old events that have fuck all to do with us today.
Have a referendum and be unified with Ireland. What's stopping you fighting for a current cause instead of moaning about ancient issues.

I should imagine the peeps in NI arent grinding their teeth about what's happening in England either. Probably too busy working for a living and paying their mortgages, bringing up kids, you know, like they do in Scotland, Wales and most other counties around the globe