Embarrassed to be English

[Traballi]

Got ancestry results back recently and apparently I'm 98% English, tiny bit of Irish but not even Scottish or Welsh. It wasn't a surprise as already looked into family history and been here for centuries.

I'm actually embarrassed of my English lineage to be honest. What's there to be proud of with our appalling history of colonialism and more recent dallyings with the far right and flag shagging?

I see the British flag up where I live and I honestly cringe. I'm also married to someone who is from a country we have a history of conflict with too so that doesnt help although DH doesnt hate us excessively (won't name country in case outing but with our history of wars/ conflict/ invasion, it could be dozens of places lets be frank)

I guess I've had a different perspective on Englishness over many years through the people I know from overseas and I speak other languages too. I also went to a Catholic school (in England) which taught us about slavery and what happened in Northern Ireland. None of which was nice about the English (teacher was Irish). I'm grateful for these perspectives though as I wouldn't want to be brainwashed into being a blind patriot.

I have friends with strong Irish and Welsh roots and they have a real sense of identity to hold onto with it, ancestral languages that they're interested in and a feeling a pride.

If you're English, it's hard to feel like that unless you're in Tommy or Nige's crew, which makes me even less inclined towards patriotism tbh.

Does anyone else feel like this? It's a bit sad really. I'd love to at least be half something else to cling to that identity instead and ignore the English but.

Luckily my DC is only half English and has two other nationalities through DH, and is being brought up in Wales so will probably feel more Welsh. I'm also obtaining a passport from another country through DH soon and I'll be using that for all overseas travel as soon as I can so I can appear to be from there instead.

AiBU or do others feel like this? Being English just isn't cool.

How does it “benefit” today and what do you expect to be done?
Was the GFA not enough? What about the people who don’t want a United ireland - do their voices not count?
Would you rather more violence and killing to get NI back?
And I’ll ask again - do you also expect the Irish to be ashamed of themselves? Or the Scots? Or all of the ME? Or Italians? Spanish and Portuguese? Yes or no?

Do you think Scottish and Welsh people weren’t involved in the British Empire? They very much were 🤣

There’s lots to be deplored, and also lots to be admired in British history. Same as most countries. Name one country with nothing bad in its past (and no you can’t have Ireland - Magdalen laundries and paedophile priests).

I am deeply interested as to what you would have felt ‘proud’ of

• Belgium - the congo
• scandanavian - vikings
• spain - colonised south america
• portugal - ditto
• austrian/ Hungarian empire
• there are many Middle East and African countries who still have being gay as illegal

Yes you did. You said 'Im so happy that people from England - raped, killed, invaded and colonised many others in the past!"

What did you mean if not that people who are proud to be English are happy about people being raped?

I know you’re coming across as rather dim and inarticulate but this is very very low

I wrote that I don't like what our ancestors did.

I just counted.

I now have ten posters attacking me on this page alone. That's a lot. One has just told me to fuck off and live somewhere else. Reported.

I will let your posts speak for themselves..there are extremely aggressive and juvenile people on here

I wonder if a german person wrote "i dont like what the nazis did in the past" would someone come on and write "fuck off and live somewhere else then".

What an intelligent argument. And also shows no respect or empathy for the people that the nazis hurt

That’s Because you’re not very bright.

Not sure that’s anyone else’s fault.

That’s obviously not what she meant. She meant that being ashamed of what England did is more normal than saying ‘I’m so happy about colonisation’

You don’t know anything about me, so how do you know I’m not very bright?

Horse shit.

💩

Are you joking? You don’t know much about what you’re posting on.

Northern Ireland is a net cost to the UK, it costs more than it puts in. If we were to look at the situation in purely economic terms, the UK would be much better off jettisoning it. But a majority of the people of NI want to remain part of the UK and so it stays in.

well said

Why are you constantly defensive and deflecting?

Instead of you constantly writing "but other countries did it too!"

Can you write one bad thing that England did to other countries in the past?

Given that Ireland had experienced decades of unprecedented violence over the issue, it would have been too politically risky to take that kind of action, and would have no doubt resulted in more violence and distrust and segregation. Maybe it will happen one day. But have you ever thought of the people happy for NI to be part of the U.K.?

Cannot eye-roll hard enough re: this thread.

That’s you falling for stereotypes, rather than exploring the nuance, isn’t it.

Have you ever thought of the people of NI who don’t want to be part of the UK?

Yes. OP if ypur family is one of the Aristocracy then almost certainly your wealth has come from colonialism and probably slavery. You should definitely in that case sell your ancestral home/land/ anything that comes from your inherited wealth etc and give the money to food banks etc, where generational poverty exists. Especially where you are in Wales, where slave owners bought coal and slate mines with the proceeds of their slavery compensation and treated the poor abominably and profited from their misery.

lol this is so silly - you have no idea what role your ancestors have or haven’t played, if you’ve been here that long chances are they didn’t leave off to colonise anywhere else. my test came back only 37% of my country (also a former colonial power), I was shocked but no less proud of where I’m from. It’s all I’ve ever known and I appreciate it for all its flaws and positives.

I’m surprised you got 98% of one place I’ve actually been wondering if that was possible!

I don’t know if that fuck off and live somewhere else post was aimed at you, I rather thought it was a response to the OP, but can’t be sure.

That aside, who else is attacking you? You’ve made some rather strong assertions, that you haven’t backed up with any evidence, some at least of which appear to be misinformed. You’ve been politely challenged on them, which is normal procedure for forums like this. You’re at liberty now to back up what you said upthread. It’s not an ‘attack’. If you’re feeling attacked, why is that? Can you not back up what you wrote?

I am British and my DH is from Singapore which used to be a British colony.
I am neither proud of it nor embarrassed by it.
It's just the way it is and colonialism is a part of history

Why make assumptions though? Doesn’t that say more about you than those saying they’re proud to be English?

I’m proud to be English and I’m as far away from your typical Reform voter as you can get. One of the reasons I’m proud to be English is my job - I travel the world recruiting international students for a university. We have a world leading higher education system which people aspire to be a part of. That makes me proud (even during these challenging times).
I enjoy being English and being a part of traditions and customs which feel unique and ‘English’.

If you think that makes me racist then that says more about you than me.

Nope, English pride is only tainted by xenophobics, such as yourself. @Traballi

Believe me, most people in England and Wales never give NI a second thought. I appreciate this is a somewhat insulting to the people of NI, but I’m afraid it is true. If they reunited with Ireland we wouldn’t be upset in any way (accept there are people in Scotland who do have strong views on this due to historical links). I also wouldn’t care if Jersey joined France, or the Orkneys went back to Norway, as long as it was what the residents of those places wanted.

The people who care most about NI remaining in the UK are the people of NI.

Oh so now you’re playing victim, after implying those proud to be English are happy about people being raped.

Youve dodged perfectly reasonable questions and made some odd statements.

And now you’ve twisted even what YOU said. You said we should feel shame - not what we “didn’t like” what happened in the past.

And FYI Germans don’t tend to feel shame for what the Nazis did because they’re a thicker skinned group of people and their leaders have refused to whitewash the past - unlike the likes of the Irish and Scottish. But no one cares if people say they’re proud to be Irish or Scottish

Politely challenged?

Lol.