Embarrassed to be English

[Traballi]

Got ancestry results back recently and apparently I'm 98% English, tiny bit of Irish but not even Scottish or Welsh. It wasn't a surprise as already looked into family history and been here for centuries.

I'm actually embarrassed of my English lineage to be honest. What's there to be proud of with our appalling history of colonialism and more recent dallyings with the far right and flag shagging?

I see the British flag up where I live and I honestly cringe. I'm also married to someone who is from a country we have a history of conflict with too so that doesnt help although DH doesnt hate us excessively (won't name country in case outing but with our history of wars/ conflict/ invasion, it could be dozens of places lets be frank)

I guess I've had a different perspective on Englishness over many years through the people I know from overseas and I speak other languages too. I also went to a Catholic school (in England) which taught us about slavery and what happened in Northern Ireland. None of which was nice about the English (teacher was Irish). I'm grateful for these perspectives though as I wouldn't want to be brainwashed into being a blind patriot.

I have friends with strong Irish and Welsh roots and they have a real sense of identity to hold onto with it, ancestral languages that they're interested in and a feeling a pride.

If you're English, it's hard to feel like that unless you're in Tommy or Nige's crew, which makes me even less inclined towards patriotism tbh.

Does anyone else feel like this? It's a bit sad really. I'd love to at least be half something else to cling to that identity instead and ignore the English but.

Luckily my DC is only half English and has two other nationalities through DH, and is being brought up in Wales so will probably feel more Welsh. I'm also obtaining a passport from another country through DH soon and I'll be using that for all overseas travel as soon as I can so I can appear to be from there instead.

AiBU or do others feel like this? Being English just isn't cool.

British were first to ban slavery, weren’t they? Lots of countries still haven’t done that, right now.

Was colonialism a glorious chapter in our history? No but it is far from unique. Everybody was doing it - do you expect the Belgians, Italians, Dutch, French and Spanish* all to be thoroughly ashamed of themselves all day every day for an accident of birth they can’t help?

• many other nationalities are available in the ‘used to have an empire’ category

We live in possibly the most civilised time in world history and the UK’s law and culture is still better than that of many places. Have a look at other countries’ histories and step back from the idea that being English makes you responsible for anything ever done by an English person. That way lies madness.

British empire biggest empire ever and not comparable to other European empires

What an utterly pathetic state of affairs. You've been taught to hate yourself and your country and heritage. For your information, nearly every civilisation in the world has practiced slavery. Only one of them then fought to end it for good: the English. Our fellow countrymen have made contributions in literature, science, technology, and law that have changed the world and made millions of people's lives better. Not to mention, we defeated the Nazis. As a PP suggested, I think you should get over yourself. Have a bit of gratitude, humility and perspective and get out of your self righteous little bubble.

And your view of eg the Belgians? They’re just a bit boring. Haven’t really done much, good or bad…?
Now go and educate yourself about the Congo.

Being randomly born a particular nationality is neither an achievement nor a failing to be ashamed of. It's an accident of birth.
Those who base their personality on their nationality or see it as an achievement are invariably boring people who've achieved very little in life.

Britain banned the trade - not slavery itself

and supported abolition not led it

it both supported abolition while still maintaining slavery

many other nationalities are available in the ‘used to have an empire’ category

Indeed, empires were the norm until about the 19th century. The nation state is a relatively modern invention.

Britain's empire was by far the largest, but that's not because the 'English' (and Scots, and Irish and Welsh and the rest) were uniquely evil, but because a combination of circumstances, especially the industrial revolution and Britain's prowess as a naval power, made it more successful. But all the European states were competing with each other for imperial status at the same time. Britain was just better at it.

Who on Earth are you meeting?! Maybe you give off bad vibes? DH is from an Irish family on his mum’s side - I’m English and have never had anything but a lovely reception whenever we’ve visited his mum’s hometown. Be it from his family, local shop workers, people on the bus - I’ve actually never felt less hated.

I lived in Paris when that happened. Albeit as a very small child. So that happened in my lifetime.

Think that depends where you go! I’m from a very small village and they hate the English 😂

You asked me what I do. Your question was imprecise and ambiguous. I assumed you were asking what I do to educate myself 😂

Do you think the other European powers were restraining the growth of their empires out of the goodness of their hearts?

Or because they simply weren't as successful at empire building as the British?

Surely you aren’t comparing British history with the Holocaust?

Support the country you live in or live in the country you support.

Really? This gives you a general idea. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_colonization_of_the_Americas

This British/English love of self flagellation because of the Empire is extremely tedious.

Do you get the same attitude in Germany, whose 20th century history is absolutely reprehensible? France and Belgium have also had some very dodgy moments. Spain, because of the sixteenth century behaviour in the Americas?

Be proud, be ashamed, whatever. No one actually cares. Just be a nice person.

My grandparents on one side are Irish, the other side are English (with a bit of Irish and other European nationalities a few generations back). It doesn't make any difference to my character or how I view myself.

Are you a good person OP? That's all that matters. Worrying about what your ancestors did is daft, you can't do anything about it (and if they were like a lot English people, they were probably working for a pittance in mills, factories, or mines themselves anyway).

So your way of showing you care about present day slavery is not to use nail bars etc
In the 19th century the Manchester Cotton workers who were impoverished English workers made huge sacrifices to support the emancipation movement. You should read about them. It might give you a greater respect for ordinary English people. It certainly did that for me.
Also - I didn’t say you said we were the only country to have slavery . I simply said nearly every other country also had slavery . Slavery was the norm across most of the globe . The remarkable thing was that this country was the FIRST to abolish it . Surely something to be proud of .

Completely ridiculous OP.

And to be using another passport. Very strange behaviour. You know there are people dieing to get that passport. Literally. Drowning in seas.

But wasn't Dublin under British Colonisation during this time? 🤔

Have you read the Daily Mail or Facebook of late? It's none of those things at the moment unfortunately.....

Agree with this 💯

I wasnt the person who LOL'd. But i also was tempted to put 'oh the irony' It's the 'I wouldn't want be be brainwashed'. Whilst appearing to be incredibly brainwashed

Oh bless . . . 😔

Britain has invaded or fought or established colonial rule in 171 of the 193 UN member states. It would be more impressive if your husband came from one of the 22 countries untouched by the British military.