Who gets the blow up bed?

[FunAquaExpert]

So what are your thoughts on this one.
I live with DH and my 2 children, boy 20, girl 18. DH has daughter,31 married with baby (1). She has never lived with us. DH bought a house in Cornwall before we married. It’s 3 double beds plus a study big enough for single blow up bed or cot. He wanted to be there for Xmas but we settled on Boxing Day with my children staying at home as both have work commitments. Son (and girlfriend) planned to come on 29th and leave 1st. I had come back on 30th for work 31st, pick up my daughter (plus possibly her boyfriend) and be back in time for midnight. We stay until 3rd. My step daughter, husband and baby came over xmas Eve as they chose the day to celebrate with us. Although she has open invitation to Cornwall, She then decided to join us. We of course said yes but said we are short of beds on 31st and explained the plan we had made nearly 2 month previously. She said they would get an Airbnb. 2 days later she asked my daughter to sleep downstairs on a blow up bed. Downstairs is open plan with no doors or door on staircase. My daughter has given up her bed since she was 5 every time my step daughter stayed either at my house or husbands in Cornwall so my daughter said no. My step daughter phoned her dad, screaming that it’s not right and she should have a bed as she has a baby (who would be sleeping in the study) and her husband is 6f1. I argued it was only for one night and it was unfair for my daughter to be woken up during the night and very early in morning as the baby would be up early and she would need the kitchen. The next day my daughter confirmed her boyfriend was coming too, but step daughter then refused to come if she didn’t have a bed. DH has said she could have the bed and my daughter had to sleep downstairs as her boyfriend wasn’t really welcome anyway and certainly not if it meant his daughter wouldn’t come. I had suggested they go to the nearby (20mins) premier inn leaving the baby with us (he has stayed with us overnight before) or they come on 1st instead. Both were refused. I maintained we had already made plans and my step daughter only decided a couple of days ago so she should have the blow up bed. But husband maintains his daughter should have it because she is older and has a baby. So who should be on the blow up bed?

For further context, I came home and my children decided to stay with me and no go. Husband is staying in Cornwall and his daughter is still visiting.

I think where you are coming unstuck is "Both me and my husband have defended our respective child, as every parent should," to me that logic is flawed. You should both defend you child if all things are equal, but they are not. You are defending your child despite their needs being less based on principal and principal alone.

Of course a mum with a young baby has greater need of a proper bed than a healthy and fit 18 or 20 year old man or woman.

I quite like what a PP said.

Remove op and dh’s bedroom from the argument.

When it’s going to be a full house each parent gets one bedroom allocated for their adult child.

That’s a fair split on rooms between the family.

Though I know some will disagree based on dh only having one child so she would always get a room but that’s not his or his daughter fault either.

Ops son and daughter can pull straws or take it in turns when dh’s daughter visits and when she’s not there both get a room.

Without a doubt DH and I would take the air bed and I say that as someone who loves their bed and is recovering from knee surgery.

I would relish the opportunity to spend New Years with my adult children. Mine haven’t been with me since they were 16/17 as friends always seem to trump family with them at Hogmanay. I think you are lucky to have that close relationship and I would want to ‘reward’ and encourage that to continue by giving them a bedroom.

My children are likely to drink more and be in need of a lie in. I wouldn’t want to have a sleep deprived, grumpy hungover child mopping about the next day. I need less sleep than them and would rather they were in bed out the way the next morning than lying about the living space getting in the way.

I do think a couple in their 30’s who have a baby and are guests would need more privacy than my husband and I who are in our own holiday home. I would rather the mild inconvenience of rising and dressing early then being able to get on with the day rather than hanging about upstairs until my step daughter and husband were up and about downstairs.

I would also love to be the one to get up early on New Years Day with my grandchild. What a lovely way to start the year. Though if the parents had your bedroom they may prefer to have the baby in that room if there is space for the travel cot.

Nothing like this would make me spend New Year appart from my husband. I would sleep under the Christmas tree as long as we were starting the Year together.

Baby go in travel cot in open plan room.
DS and partner go on blow up mattress in study.
DSD and partner go in double room (assume travel cot won’t fit?)
DD and partner go in double room.

I've had a stroke, have Multiple Sclerosis and Epilepsy. I'd still sleep on the blowup bed.

That is a heartless comment. Perhaps she has yet to actually have a decent nights sleep 12 months in or not.

Hubby’s house so his child should have a bed, she came before you.

Just remembered one Family Trip our small ds slept on an air bed at the bottom of the fitted wardrobe /cupboard.. He bloody loved it!!
Have also had 2 teen ds's sleep on 2 huge IKEA sofas with a dozen throws on them!! They loved that!

Hi op your kids will never win against his dd so it would not matter what you agreed to do before it might be better to say you need to know who is attending beforehand then work out the rooms but his dd sounds entitled so either get used to spending it separately or one of your kids need to compromise unfortunately blood is thicker than water.

I can only imagine how toxic this environment has been for your children being rared with such an unreasonable man and his daughter.

Blending seems to bring together the most awful of people with children as collateral damage.

No your daughter should not have been moved from arrangements, because of last minute add ons, but it seems this has been her position for years.

It’s sad that no one would compromise and that you didn’t end up spending nye together.

Was your ds never asked to take the blow up bed? Either as a child or last night? Only your dd?