Comments at Christmas cause I choose to carry on riding whilst pregnant

[Pladii]

In my early 20s I found horse riding. The routine, being out in nature, forming a bond with animals does my mental health absolute wonders.

I am newly pregnant. Just beginning to show and have decided I will continue riding my boy who is an absolute gentleman. We adore one another and I trust him.

We went to stay with my husband’s side for Christmas. And it got brought up over the actual main meal! I was mortified! Granny begged me not to. And my sister in law said “it’s just not worth the risk”. She doesn’t understand why I’m chancing it. MIL kept quiet (not like her).

I am only accepting a level of risk that I am comfortable with. I wouldn’t dare a ride a horse I didn’t know.

It’s my body. I think it’s a bit rubbish for my decision to be questioned so publicly. Made me feel like I am doing something wrong.

Dh and I are doctors. I’ve made a decision as an adult woman. That should be it.

Given your profession and knowing your own body and risks etc together with the fact you are riding your own horse with whom you have good knowledge of I don't think it is right to question your decision. Many top eventers/show jumpers etc continue to ride whilst pregnant. As a horse owner myself and Mum, I guess I can relate more to your situation than perhaps your husband's family who may have no horse knowledge. It's natural for them to show concern however they should respect you are not going to do anything you feel may be negative to your pregnancy. Wishing you all the best x

Difficult one. If you can completely control the environment, fine. If you're at shared stables, where something could spook your horse, maybe rest until after baby is safely here.

People who don't ride don't understand the perspective from which you are making the decision. Only you know your horse and the bond you have with it. It would be a completely different scenario if they were to try and do the same.
If you are happy with the choice then that's all that matters. If there was a problem you would be the one who has to live with it, not them, so their opinion is irrelevant. Nobody should be trying to police your body or decisions. It's not necessarily unreasonable for those who care about you to want to say something if they see you as putting yourself and/or your pregnancy at risk, but they should be willing to accept your decision once they have said their piece, and not keep on about it.

The quietest of horses can take fright and he doesn't know you're expecting. If the worst sere to happen, could you live with yourself?

You are an adult and can make your own decisions. I rode until I couldn't get close enough to my horse to mount.

Totally your choice of course but, you have not mentioned how old you are which may have influenced their comments. If you Google (yes big eye roll) - when should you stop riding when newly pregnant - then it may give you some answers, though technically as a Doctor you should know this albeit, maybe it is not your particular expertise in medicine. I would be more concerned about why you feel more protective of your horse than the baby at this point in time. Perhaps you need to look at your current mental health and seek counselling as, maybe you feel out of control when, in fact you are not, having asked the Q in the first place but do need some help. The counselling may well provide you with an alternative way of decompressing to riding which clearly works for you. In the meantime, keep visiting your Boy and enjoy his company whether riding him or not. Look forward to afterwards and teaching your child the joys of riding. There is no greater joy in my mind than being on a horse, by yourself in the countryside.

Nasty, and obviously quite distressing! I had a massive lumbar disc prolapse 20 years ago resulting in complete right foot drop. I have to walk with the aid of a rollator. Fortunately, the disc healed itself, but if it had prolapsed further, it could easily have resulted in Cauda Equina Syndrome. You have my sympathy as I know so many people with your condition. Take care.

Tell me you don't have horses 😂

Yeah. They really can be utter twats. They have moods and personalities like any other animal. I ride one such knobhead. He hides round the corner of his stable until he hears someone approaching then lunges out at them. He's never actually hurt anyone though. Stops short of biting them. It's just for sport. He likes it when they scream. It's entertainment for him.

As for not being exercise, you go get on a horse, do 30 minutes of rising trot, then come back and tell me its not hard work. If you can walk.

Being on a horse is not riding. If you're not exerting yourself, you're just a passenger, not a rider.

‘Being’ on a horse isn’t riding 😂That’s like me saying “I’ve splashed about in a pool, swimming a mile doesn’t require any fitness”
To ride a horse properly you do actually have to be physically fit. Unfortunately many people don’t ride properly (or don’t know how to ride properly). Schooling a horse to a decent level requires a very good level of fitness.

And top level riders have to be insanely fit.
But I’ll get off my high horse now 😂

This. I was told off for exercising.

I'd have fallen to pieces physically and mentally if I hadn't.

Buckle up. Everyone will have an opinion on everything you do, don't do, want to do, etc., and have examples (random other mothers/pregnant folk they've heard of) to "prove" their claim. Enjoy your pregnancy.

'Yeah. They really can be utter twats. They have moods and personalities like any other animal'

Exactly that was kind of my point.

I rode throughout both my pregnancies. I also skied in the early stages and went to the gym until the last week.

I can’t remember anyone saying I shouldn’t, tbh.

I like you did the same ( also have the same job as you btw). I only rode on soft ground on a horse I knew very well. I’m a very experienced rider and have ridden since I could walk, grew up in a horsey family and have done all sorts of competing. Well I did come off over the tiniest spook on an old been there done that gelding. I landed on my feet, but I was overwhelmed with guilt and the “what if’s” I thought about how selfish, ignorant and arrogant I had been. I think as you get bigger you lose the ability to use your core and just completely lose your centre of gravity. As soon as I found out I was pregnant this time I stopped riding. That’s just my story. Absolutely no judgement for me, it was just how I felt when I came off I would be consumed by guilt if something happened.

I wouldn't but saying that I don't really know a lot about horses. I've only really seen Facebook videos of people riding them and cars going past them too fast and spooking the horses, then the riders shouting. I'm not sure why I watch these. I suppose I wouldn't rid a motorbike, bike or climb a ladder when I was pregnant as there's a small risk that I would fall so I doubt I would ride a horse either.

Balls - I rode when pregnant until I lost my centre of gravity and couldn’t bend over to get off easily. If your body is used to riding and your horse is a saint then carry on. I was also lugging soaked haynets and mucking out until my waters broke. Get some good and comfy stretchy maternity jeans 👍

I'd ask them if they expect you to give up riding once the baby is born as well just in case something happened.

I wanted to carry on riding when I was pregnant but had hyperemesis which was pretty debilitating. So if you're able to carry on being active then make the most of it. You will know when it's time to have a break.

'And top level riders have to be insanely fit."

We aren't talking about top level riders we're talking about people who take their huge, unpredictable 'massive twat' of a horse for a trot about and think it constitutes exercise.

Since lots of people are using the motorbike thing in this thread I feel I've got to point out you're more likely to be seriously injured or killed riding a horse statistically than riding a motorcycle.

You've got to make your own decisions about your own risks.

There seems to be a lot of people saying they were totally fine. Sounds a bit like “survivor bias”.
You could do everything right. Your horse could do everything right. Then something you can’t predict happens, horse freaks out and you are on the floor.

We all are in charge of our own decisions. But if I was confident in mine, I wouldn’t be online asking if I was being unreasonable . Makes me think , deep down, you know you might be.

You’ve deliberately left the rest of my post out.
I stand by the fact that proper riding requires a decent level of fitness and sitting on a horse a few times doesn’t give you any idea of what proper riding is like from an exercise point of view.

I will agree with you though that a lot of what you see out and about doesn’t show us in a very good light 😅

I cannot bare people who don't live their life to the fullest. Imagine living a 2/10 life then popping your clogs just before retirement because you worried about risk

If you were a friend or relative of mine, I’d be concerned. That’s largely because I don’t trust horses at all due to my own past experience with them, which I realise is my problem and not yours.

That being said, I would probably raise my concerns with you once and leave it at that. As you say, you are an adult and capable of assessing your own risk. I think it’s fine to politely tell the ILs that it’s not up for discussion and refuse to engage further on the topic.

Main problem I had after I had my baby was that on some levels I’d lost my nerve - worried about being incapacitated with a baby to look after. I got over it to some degree but as you get older you just don’t bounce the same 😂

So all pregnant women should never go anywhere or do anything because "all sort of shit happens"

Your family are just worried about potential harm to you or your baby. I would be worried too as a parent as it would be something I couldn’t keep you safe from.

However, so long as you are constantly risk assessing how your body feels, the horse and your riding area the risk will be low. Just don’t be stubborn about it to prove a point to them!