Comments at Christmas cause I choose to carry on riding whilst pregnant

[Pladii]

In my early 20s I found horse riding. The routine, being out in nature, forming a bond with animals does my mental health absolute wonders.

I am newly pregnant. Just beginning to show and have decided I will continue riding my boy who is an absolute gentleman. We adore one another and I trust him.

We went to stay with my husband’s side for Christmas. And it got brought up over the actual main meal! I was mortified! Granny begged me not to. And my sister in law said “it’s just not worth the risk”. She doesn’t understand why I’m chancing it. MIL kept quiet (not like her).

I am only accepting a level of risk that I am comfortable with. I wouldn’t dare a ride a horse I didn’t know.

It’s my body. I think it’s a bit rubbish for my decision to be questioned so publicly. Made me feel like I am doing something wrong.

Dh and I are doctors. I’ve made a decision as an adult woman. That should be it.

@StealthMama I was back on my horses quicker after my c section than after my vaginal delivery .

You have a very unusual, unique riding style in which case.

if you're riding your horse outside there's a limit to how controlled it can be.
Something unexpected startling the horse is always a possibility. The chances of it happening might be fairly low, however the chances that falling from a height could hurt the baby are fairly high.

It's completely up to you but "I’ve made a decision as an adult woman. That should be it" is arrogant and doesn't really make sense. Someone else could say "I've made a decision as an adult woman that a small glass of wine/1 cigarette a day is fine and the possible risks to the baby are outweighed by the benefit to my mental health." Doesn't mean it's right!

Oh, this is the least of your forthcoming worries, OP! The busybody PAS will be out in force to try to tell you what you should and shouldn’t be doing, right the way through!

FWIW, the pregnancy where I developed preeclampsia took a full 24 hours and Ventouse to deliver DC, while the ones where I carried on with HIIT until term were all of 1h 30mins without medical intervention!

It's up to you. For what it's worth, I'd do the same as you. But I can understand where they're coming from. I've come off exactly twice. Both times off the 20 year old schoolmaster who is way more whoa than go and dozes off if he stands still too long.

Both were freak accidents. The first time was a pole falling behind him. Yes, that's right, the ex pro showjumper is scared of a bloody pole! The second was a deer running across the field by the school and he flinched sideways and lost me off the side.

Life is full of risks. If you went by the advice of some of the posters here you would stop driving (because you have no control over what any driver is doing), not get on a bicycle, don’t walk down stairs, eat seafood or go out ever. Just wrap yourself in cotton wool and stay in bed until you have your baby.

Or you assess the risks, balance them against the benefits (exercise, mental well being) and make a decision for yourself and your child.

Congratulations OP - hope you have an enjoyable pregnancy. Agree, stand up for yourself, you’ll have to get used to it! X

It's still your body, even if you're pregnant.

If your relatives were genuinely concerned, they should've raised it with you privately. IMO it's fine to ask if someone you love has really thought it through, so long as it's done at an appropriate time & way - and they back off if you make it clear you're happy in your choice.

P S - I was told off by a gentleman in Tesco when pregnant- I was buying for family event that weekend. I'd've been eating for 16 if it was all for me, but his concern was the single bottle of prosecco and not the pate, soft cheese, shellfish, beef, sheer quantity of food...

Rode until I was 8 months pregnant. Had a TB but plodded round the fields. Both babies over 9 1/2 lbs. Honestly don’t remember anyone passing comment but that was 20 years ago. Now everyone thinks their opinions have to be heard.

Far too risky.

If it was me my child would come first.

Assuming you are a very competent rider and feel the risks of being thrown off the horse are minimal, and your partner is fine with you riding, you should continue.

I skied at 20 weeks. I was cautious and took it easy. Baby was fine.

I rode until I was about 6.5 months pregnant with my eldest (didn’t with my youngest as I happened not to have a horse at that time having recently moved back from working overseas). It was all fine, like you I only rode my own very good horse, and I didn’t jump or do anything riskier than hacking and schooling. I also skied with both pregnancies (one I was 4 months pregnant, the other 2 months) - I just took it much easier than normal. You’ll be fine, and have made a pragmatic decision having considered the risks and benefits.

My instructor rode cross country well into her pregnancy. One lesson my mare was being an utter bitch and trying to throw me. Instructor was 9 months and wanted me to get off and she could ride it out if her. I said no and she was visibly pissed off. I think me drawing that line was reasonable. Your in-laws should mind their own business.

Assume you're aware of https://www.midwifery.org.uk/articles/horse-riding-and-the-pelvic-floor-in-birth/

But can't see how carrying on with an activity you already do is posing an unacceptable level of risk or how it's anybody else's concern

'my mare was being an utter bitch and trying to throw me. Instructor was 9 months and wanted me to get off and she could ride it out if her.'

I mean this sums it up doesn't it. How can a horse be being 'an utter bitch' surely it's just being a horse and why did someone 9mths pregnant think they could 'ride it out of her'. So much delusion and bad decision making in the horse world it seems.

You clearly aren’t a rider. Riding properly uses muscles that you wouldn’t even know you have, and you develop a core like steel.

You can sit on a horse and do very little, as many novices do, but that’s not riding.

The body policing of pregnant women can get really wild.

I did stop riding (the horses were feisty) but I managed to knock myself out walking down the street when I was 7 months along. No activity is completely safe.

I never said I was a rider. I have however been on a horse and it isn't by any stretch exercise. All the regular riders we see around our rural area have arses as big as their horses.

When i was pregnant I found swimming good exercise, nice and calming too. Maybe fitness classes? Less likely to be chucked from a height and stamped on.

@Gloriia it depends how you ride , however fatness is not a level of fitness .

I think it's fairly low risk as long as you're not jumping. Obviously if you are jumping that's daft and dangerous for your baby,

I’d echo others and say get used to it op. Once you’re pregnant or have kids then someone’s always got an opinion on what you’re doing (or not). You need to cultivate smile and nod and the carry on with what you think is best anyway.

I had loads of people telling me not to work such long hours (I was on a Bill Team in a Government Department) but it was a brilliant experience and I saw no reason why I couldn’t do the long hours if I felt ok (and I did feel completely fine the whole way). The NHS is the worst though - completely patronising and treats pregnant women like small children who need to be told what to do in slow short sentences!

I have had 2 children and rode little amounts when pregnant. I actually bought my last horse when pregnant although didn’t ride him until I had my daughter as hadn’t that bond. I was always careful getting on and off, using the mounting block, and kind of stepping onto it, rather than dismounting the normal way.
if I was to get pregnant again I’d definitely do the odd hack on my big boy as he’s as quiet as houses. I’ve had him 7 years and never done anything silly.
we all know our horses and we know the ones which are quiet. Yes I know we cannot limit risk but if you trust your horse then it’s your decision.

I rode til I was 5 months with my first, just over 6 months with my second (and fell off flat on my back...), and four months with my third (I stopped due to getting injured in a car accident). I had three healthy babies. I got the same comments as you're getting, but my GP and midwife were supportive - they did suggest gentle hacks rather than eventing though! I understand peoples' concerns, but there are risks all around us. You know your body and your horse - you are the best person to assess the risk.

Honestly not worth the risk

Given your profession and knowing your own body and risks etc together with the fact you are riding your own horse with whom you have good knowledge of I don't think it is right to question your decision. Many top eventers/show jumpers etc continue to ride whilst pregnant. As a horse owner myself and Mum, I guess I can relate more to your situation than perhaps your husband's family who may have no horse knowledge. It's natural for them to show concern however they should respect you are not going to do anything you feel may be negative to your pregnancy. Wishing you all the best x