Comments at Christmas cause I choose to carry on riding whilst pregnant

[Pladii]

In my early 20s I found horse riding. The routine, being out in nature, forming a bond with animals does my mental health absolute wonders.

I am newly pregnant. Just beginning to show and have decided I will continue riding my boy who is an absolute gentleman. We adore one another and I trust him.

We went to stay with my husband’s side for Christmas. And it got brought up over the actual main meal! I was mortified! Granny begged me not to. And my sister in law said “it’s just not worth the risk”. She doesn’t understand why I’m chancing it. MIL kept quiet (not like her).

I am only accepting a level of risk that I am comfortable with. I wouldn’t dare a ride a horse I didn’t know.

It’s my body. I think it’s a bit rubbish for my decision to be questioned so publicly. Made me feel like I am doing something wrong.

Dh and I are doctors. I’ve made a decision as an adult woman. That should be it.

They should have kept their comments to themselves. You know your body and your horse. At some point it will likely feel too uncomfortable to ride and you will know when to stop for a while.

I wouldn't say anything but internally I'd be doubting your ability to make wise choices. .

I think the in-laws are just concerned for the baby. Ultimately it's up to you, but it is a risk of falling. it's you and your baby that you are subjecting to the risk to, so your husband should have a say in it perhaps. If he is happy go for it.

@vickylou78

no. It’s OP’s body, not his. He can give an opinion, but the final say lies with Op.

I didn’t ride after about 16 weeks when the pelvis stops protecting the uterus to a degree. Didn’t think to until an instructor warned me against it having had a fall and lost a pregnancy herself. After no 1 baby I couldn’t afford a horse anyway so wasn’t an issue 😂

I did carry on riding in the dim and distant past with both my children. Until quite late too - around 7 months. So I do understand

I had no issues, all went fine . But if I’m totally honest, I shouldn’t have taken the risk. With hindsight I would make different choices now

If this conversation hadn’t been about the riding, it could just have easily been about your food choices (brie, pate, wine, etc) or any number of other things, OP.

As Kayoh says, you will be judged for everything anyway, so the fact it was about riding this time is a bit of a red herring.

That said, be prepared for the next phase of objections to be around your child riding in the future, as it sounds like that’s going to raise similar objections.

I would focus on making sure you and DH are firmly on the same page, as it will be largely up to him to manage his family’s involvement, and the current conversation has provided a useful outline of how future issues are likely to be addressed by them.

It also seems quite positive that MIL sat on the fence, especially if that’s unusual for her, so it sounds like she appreciates that it’s not her place to dictate your behaviour (at least publicly). She might also have felt guilty if she’s the one who told everyone else you planned to continue riding and inadvertently put you in that awkward situation. Obviously it would have been lovely if she had shut the conversation down or defended you, but the fact she kept quiet sounds somewhat positive under the circumstances.

Ok that's fine but if the worst we're to happen and there was a miscarriage or something were to happen to the baby, and the husband wasn't happy with her riding it may be difficult to continue the relationship if there was resentment there. I personally wouldn't be riding if my partner or husband wasn't 💯 behind me.

It's one that EVERYONE feels entitled to an opinion on unfortunately . I was lucky that those that mattered supported me. Like you I carried on riding up until 6 months (getting on and off was hard work after that and the only reason I stopped!) Like you, I only rode my horse and gentle hacking, no open fields , jumping etc . I actually felt like she looked after me more than usual and was foot perfect. It's a high risk sport whether you have a passenger or not (so is walking down the street depending on where you live! ) so ignore them, it's your choice and if your husband supports you in your choice, other opinions don't matter !

I cycled until it was physically impossible, about 5 months, mostly on the road during rush hour. My doctor was very supportive - even if you do fall off your baby is very well protected in those first months. You do you!

I don't know anything about horse riding but you do. You are best placed to decide what is best for you. I was judged for carrying on with a sport that some would consider high risk when I was pregnant by ignorant people who themselves were taking far more risks with their children's lives than I was. In my experience many people fail to understand risk assessment and choose to judge others instead.

I rode till 7 months with first but weirdly didn’t want to at all with second. You would get more balanced responses in The Tack room.

It’s a horse you know well, so keep going for as long as you’re comfortable. Life is full of risks - cars, stairs, etc. It will keep you fit, good for pelvic floor!