Comments at Christmas cause I choose to carry on riding whilst pregnant

[Pladii]

In my early 20s I found horse riding. The routine, being out in nature, forming a bond with animals does my mental health absolute wonders.

I am newly pregnant. Just beginning to show and have decided I will continue riding my boy who is an absolute gentleman. We adore one another and I trust him.

We went to stay with my husband’s side for Christmas. And it got brought up over the actual main meal! I was mortified! Granny begged me not to. And my sister in law said “it’s just not worth the risk”. She doesn’t understand why I’m chancing it. MIL kept quiet (not like her).

I am only accepting a level of risk that I am comfortable with. I wouldn’t dare a ride a horse I didn’t know.

It’s my body. I think it’s a bit rubbish for my decision to be questioned so publicly. Made me feel like I am doing something wrong.

Dh and I are doctors. I’ve made a decision as an adult woman. That should be it.

It’s not just your body, though. What happens if you fall off?

It’s your choice OP.

I’m an experienced rider but I wouldn’t have done it. The worry of the risk would be too much for it to be any good for my mental health.

Ignore them, Op.

I mean you get some people who think pregnant women shouldn’t exercise when pregnant 🤯 like they should just sit on the sofa all day, every day

people are just clueless

Exactly!

I have the same judgement over my decision to have home births (20 years ago now!). No one is making you have one if you don't want to but others make their decisions in conjunction with their health professionals and deem it the right decision for them. End of story.

OP didnt ask anyone if she should ride... the judgey judgers decided to come on and spray their hate anyway.

Have fun OP!

@StepsNotMiles

who else’s body is it?

Yup. I allowed myself one coffee a day when I was pregnant. I’d have it at work in the morning. The girl at the desk across from me had regular conniptions about it. It was tiresome. I just rolled my eyes at her.

OP didnt ask anyone if she should ride... the judgey judgers decided to come on and spray their hate anyway.

I think 'hate' is a strong word.

An anonymous random rocks up after name changing to tell us she's a pregnant horse riding doctor.

People are going to have momentary opinions on that before flicking onto another thread, not 'hate' 👀

And yet the highest and most likely risks we face in life no one questions.
Things like mental health (self harm), poor lifestyle leading to high risk (diet, alcohol , obesity etc), driving (crashing) a car, crossing roads, and all sorts of health issues are way, way more likely per hour of activity than most sports.
And that's before you factor in the multiple benefits of outdoor, nature, physical and social benefits.

I took my baby out to town when he was 4 days old, we had a toddler too and we needed to get out of the house. A bloke in the lift asked me if the baby was allowed to be out that young.... more worryingly he had his own kids with him!

You do you op!

not the same risk I suppose but I did cycle
until nearly the end of my last pregnancy and even cycled up to the hospital for my final few appointments (even after the pre c section appointment days before it was booked)

I had lots of people say things and even had a man in a van beep and shout at me out the window that I shouldn’t be doing this in my condition (FUCK OFF)

Hate is a strong word. Maybe read back some of the thread.

And on another thread a pregnant woman is being told to ignore the NHS food guidelines and crack into the smoked salmon and liver pate because all life comes with some risk....🙄

You're pregnant OP, you can't win and everyone has an opinion on what you do.... happy days

Everything carries some risk.
I think I would do as you are, a calm horse away from roads and avoiding spooky horses and big jumps, or anything with a greater fall risk.

Someone very close to me lost a baby when she contracted some kind of food poisoning from something she was advised not to eat. I still think it was her choice to make and her risk to take.

I've no need to read it back.

I read it the first time.

Very good.

I chose not to, but this was a rainbow baby and I was whiter than white in this pregnancy as I was terrified.

I would have carried on in my first pregnancy - complications 100% not due to riding as I didn’t ride in those early weeks for other reasons.

You know your skill and your horse, my boy from years ago I would have definitely ridden - my friends ones now? No chance 😂.

But welcome to a lifetime of people judging you regardless of what you do. My mum was judging me again last night, on something we have made clear works for us for the last 21 months. Same conversation every couple of weeks!

‘Risky Sport’??
@Pladii is probably doing a bit of schooling or a gentle hack -not jumping 5 bar gates on a hunt.
Going up the stairs/jogging/swimming/is risky - should pregnant women not do that either?
@Pladii - do what feels right for you. Your body will tell you when to stop.

It's just the beginning. The comments will get a lot worse, come from a lot more people and people will get furious when you don't listen.

People lose all respect for you when pregnant.

When I was 28 weeks pregnant, DH and I went on a weekend away in a hot location with a pool. A 6ft 4 security guard physically grabbed me to stop me from going into the (gorgeous 5* star hotel) pool because in his opinion pools are dangerous for pregnant women. I cannot begin to express how violated and intimidated I felt to have a strange man suddenly restrain me, when pregnant and in a swimsuit, and shout at me firmly "You're not getting in there".

Unfortunately for him, I'm quite confident and vocal and after the initial shock I shouted at him, complained to management and got him fired.

Granny? Riding? Old gentleman??

Have I tumbled upon a plot for Downton or what?

Also, I got soooooo many questions on what I can eat and why I'm still drinking coffee etc.

Motherhood is judged but not as directly. The pregnancy stuff feels like a very personal attack, or it did to me anyway.

You don’t have to do any of those things while pregnant, except maybe going into the office, and even then your HR department might even complete a risk assessment for you and state there are things you aren’t allowed to do.

I carried on riding , skiing , going to the gym when pregnant - you do you

Sounds as thought you have made your mind up.

My observation would be that people take risks - some more calculated some less so, some more controversial and subjective - every day of their lives and pregnancy is an enduring state of those being amplified whether by you or others in whatever capacity and with whatever intention.
only you can ultimately decide and so as long as you have thought this through and comes to terms with the worst case scenario here but still want to proceed then nobody can really stop you.
starting a thread about it is just an illustration of my point.
all the best with your pregnancy

You've made an informed decision and that's your choice. You don't need to justify it.
What I would add though is, at the end of the day even the most bombproof horse can spook.