I have 2 older children (12 year old twins) and have always felt that is my lot, never wanted anymore however recently the idea of having another one and doing the family/school thing again keeps coming into my mind and I am starting to wish I did it over aging in my mid 30s. I am now approaching 42.
I am divorced from eldest children's father and newish partner is mid 40s. Would having a child together make the family complete or am I being silly? Or would you say just enjoy the children you have, you dont need one together? I'm so confused, probably due to over thinking/pining. This has come from nowhere as I said, I had always thought I didn't want anymore.
I also feel guilty for my eldest 2 as their dad is no longer on the scene and I feel I should have made more of an effort to meet someone earlier and provide a family unit for them with a little sibling and father figure.
The guilt it hitting me really bad today. I feel I have let my kids down and also deprived myself of another chance.
What are your honest thoughts?