Food waste hysteria has gone too far

[Nifty50something]

Of course it's wrong that vast quantities of food is a wasted when some people don't have enough to eat. Restaurants and supermarkets who throw away perfectly good food past it's sell by date instead of donating it should be ashamed. And we should all try to use up the food we buy of we can. But some people are so far up on their high horse about food waste nowadays it's ridiculous

For example I was on a group holiday on half board and went out for lunch with a friend as well as her friend who I didn't know previously but who had come along on the holiday. I ordered a sandwich but could only eat about half of it and left the rest on my plate. The friend of a friend had taken a roll and some bacon from the breakfast buffet so hadn't ordered anything at the restaurant. She asked me if I was going to finish my food and when I said no she said she would have it because "food waste is wrong." She ate it, saving the bacon roll she had taken which she had for lunch the following day. She didn't offer to pay towards my sandwich or say thank you or anything. It was all done in a very judgemental way

When I talked to my friend about it she agreed with me that her friend had been rude but then added she didn't agree with food waste either. I asked her what I was meant to do and she said in future my friend and I could order one sandwich and share it. I was fine with this but sometimes would have liked to order something different from my friend, have something other than a sandwich, etc. But felt constrained to share because restaurants served such big portions.

AIBU and what do you do if you can't eat all the food you're served? If it's convenient for me I'll take the rest away to have later but that doesn't always work.

A doggie bag is fine if I'm going straight home if not, then I leave it. It also depends how much I liked it and whether I think it can be eaten the next day amd taste good. So like you, it's context driven.

I wouldn't say 'food waste hysteria' has gone too far because you met one weird lady.

I think generally people aren't nearly hysterical enough. If they were we wouldn't have the levels of food waste that we have.

I think what you did was fine. I think what she did was fine. Why would she contribute to the cost of your sandwich if it was just going in the bin? If you wanted it to take home for later then you should have just told her that. I don't really understand the issue. She's obviously a bit over keen and I wouldn't appreciate the lecture on food waste, but just ignore and move on.

I think you just had an unfortunate sandwich incident. Most people are not this bonkers.

Why on earth would she contribute to your sandwich that you didn’t want?

I would have expected her to just say "if you're not going to eat that can I have it? Thanks." I wouldn't have expected payment but judgement even less so. It's funny the way some posters pick up on one tiny detail in a post (that I mentioned she hadn't offered to pay for part of it) and totally miss the bigger picture (that this woman was bonkers). I just would like to know what percentage of people have become this bonkers about food waste.

YABU to expect the friend of a friend to contribute to a sandwich you were quite happy to leave.

The friend of a friend sounds like a sanctimonious cheapskate disguised as economical concern.

Personally I don’t think there’s enough ‘hysteria’ about food waste. Over Christmas largely with relatives, we stayed for 4 nights at a Premier Inn that provided a substantial and very good buffet breakfast. And every morning we saw plates being cleared away that still had a fair amount of uneaten food - sausages, eggs, bacon, toast, croissants, you name it.

Why do people take so much food if they’re not going to eat it? A buffet means you can always go back for more - and there was always plenty.

I can't imagine scrabbling around for somebody else's leftovers or stashing food to eat the following day.

But then again, I can't see myself eating half a sandwich and being full.

If you're skint (whether generally or because you've overstretched yourself by going on holiday), it's more usual to eat now, mainly because that's what humans have evolved to do; eat more when it's available because you might not get to eat tomorrow.

Is it possible that she was making an excuse because she knew she was going to eat both but feared the social disapproval of needing more than half a sandwich?

I would have taken my other half a sandwich in a doggie bag for later. I wouldn't have left it or given it to her. Food waste is important though, even if you don't want to think about it

No, she didn't eat both on the same day. She was definitely a sanctimonious cheapskate - she was extremely cheap in other ways during the holiday as well, and other friends noticed it and were upset by some of the other things she did also. It wasn't that she was struggling financially because she was going on several other expensive holidays later in he year also.

Yes, totally agree. The curious incident of the sandwich in the day time.

You met one loony.

Having said that, I work in a food waste charity and we have people turn up to volunteer sometimes who are just clearly not well, and the food waste thing is a manifestation of it. Eg, insisting on going through a large barrel of rotting food to see if there's something they can salvage for themselves - not out of need, we offer plenty of food which is surplus but still edible and good that they could take away - but because they are that committed to the cause / take it personally if something goes to waste. It comes across as mad and off-putting.

I genuinely believe many of the "food waste police" people had very traumatic or abusive childhoods. Forcing children to eat everything on their plates or giving them lectures about starving kids in Africa are common tools for extremely authoritarian or religious families to abuse their kids under the guise of morality.

Food in itself has very little intrinsic value. If whoever bought the food is happy to throw it out, then there are no victims. In the bigger picture, it's often healthier and better if certain foods are not eaten (high calorie sweets, unhealthy UPFs, anything that might be borderline expired etc).

Many parents covertly abuse their children by forcing them to ignore their own bodily autonomy. Making small children eat everything or punishing them for wasting food are really easy ways to set up a trap that results in "justified" anger. Abusive parents need reasons to dole out punishment, and food is one area that kids simply cannot escape from. Most children eventually learn not to misbehave in big ways that warrant punishment, but it's almost impossible to always eat everything given to you or not to accidentally discard a single piece of food.

These kids grow up with the false notion that wasting anything edible is a cardinal sin, when it really has zero implications in the bigger picture. It was simply a way for parents to control their kids to make life easier for themselves.

It's also no surprise that the anti food waste people have a disproportionate amount of rage in relation to how insignificant the topic actually is. Their beliefs stemmed from unpleasant totalitarian upbringing and seeing others throw out food triggers a huge amount of trauma for themselves.

That’s not food waste that’s a tight arse. I bet she’d peel an orange in her pocket

I wouldn't go out with that person again, and I'd make it clear to my friend that her friend is a weirdo, if she is. I'd also have been tempted to say something to her right away if she was being overtly judgemental about waste.

Realistically, what difference would it have made if you'd been able to order half a sandwich so there was zero waste in this one meal? Does she think the restaurant uses up every last scrap of food they buy? No, they throw things away, too. Some waste is inevitable.

But yeah, this is just one weird person, not typical behaviour.

"I can't imagine scrabbling around for somebody else's leftovers or stashing food to eat the following day.

But then again, I can't see myself eating half a sandwich and being full."

This. I wouldn't want to go for a meal with either of you! 😅 Do you regularly not finish meals OP? Or just very occasionally?

Couldn't agree more.

I am in my 60s and when I was a child our family had a very traditional approach to meals. We all sat down together for our evening meal at about 6pm when Dad got in from work. We were all expected to eat the same things, usually of the meat, potatoes and vegetables type of meal. No special kids meals, from as early as I can remember I had the same as everyone else in the family, just a smaller portion.

Being "faddy" and refusing to try certain vegetables or not have a bit of everything was not tolerated. However, my parents never went in for the nonsense of having to finish everything on your plate. When I said I was full and didn't want anymore then it was taken away without comment.

I always had a small appetite and ate fairly slowly. Often at school dinners this led to me not finishing and I would sometimes be given disapproving looks and lectures about starving children. Fortunately nobody actually forced me to sit and finish what I didn't want.

In restaurants I almost always end up leaving some on my plate. I don't see it as waste. So what it goes in the bin? If I were to force it down when I didn't want it and probably make myself feel ill as a result, how is that any less wasteful? I would just be treating myself as a human dustbin.

As posted above, in restaurants I regularly don't finish everything. So what? If the serving is bigger than I can manage, why should I?

An amount of food waste is inevitable. It is absolutely hysteria to suggest that two people should order and share a sandwich by default in case half a sandwich goes to waste. This is not the problem. As usual some people have taken a valid issue and run to the extreme end of it.

It's frustrating because portions are so bloody big these days, it's difficult to not waste food. I don't always want to take it home or like it enough to eat later. But that is on the restaurants. I understand they feel the need to justify their prices with massive portions but I find myself eating out less and less because it's getting harder and harder to find just a sandwich or a jacket potato

That is nothing to do with food waste. It is just a perfect excuse for her not to pay for any food. Taking ingredients for a sandwich from the breast buffet rather proves it.

If you're skint (whether generally or because you've overstretched yourself by going on holiday), it's more usual to eat now, mainly because that's what humans have evolved to do; eat more when it's available because you might not get to eat tomorrow.

@NeverDropYourMooncup Huh! Are you serious?
Are you saying it's usual to stuff yourself beyond what you actually want to eat just in case?

You mentioned the payment detail for some reason - clearly it was on your mind. You can't turn around and snipe at people who noticed that.

I think you're overreacting and extrapolating far too much from this one incident with someone who had a bee in her bonnet.

Ask for a doggy bag if you don't finish what you ordered. Or assess your level of hunger before you order, and ask the waiter about the size of the meal you're ordering. You can often skip a side or order from the starter menu if you feel the main you order is going to be too much for you.

I’d rather someone eat my leftover food than it go to waste.

We're allowed to think it's bonkers that it even crossed your mind, let alone commented, on the fact that she hadn't offered to pay for your disregarded half-sandwich. That's a weird observation to even make.

Just because you felt embarrassed doesn't mean she was wrong or that the world has gone mad.