Food waste hysteria has gone too far

[Nifty50something]

Of course it's wrong that vast quantities of food is a wasted when some people don't have enough to eat. Restaurants and supermarkets who throw away perfectly good food past it's sell by date instead of donating it should be ashamed. And we should all try to use up the food we buy of we can. But some people are so far up on their high horse about food waste nowadays it's ridiculous

For example I was on a group holiday on half board and went out for lunch with a friend as well as her friend who I didn't know previously but who had come along on the holiday. I ordered a sandwich but could only eat about half of it and left the rest on my plate. The friend of a friend had taken a roll and some bacon from the breakfast buffet so hadn't ordered anything at the restaurant. She asked me if I was going to finish my food and when I said no she said she would have it because "food waste is wrong." She ate it, saving the bacon roll she had taken which she had for lunch the following day. She didn't offer to pay towards my sandwich or say thank you or anything. It was all done in a very judgemental way

When I talked to my friend about it she agreed with me that her friend had been rude but then added she didn't agree with food waste either. I asked her what I was meant to do and she said in future my friend and I could order one sandwich and share it. I was fine with this but sometimes would have liked to order something different from my friend, have something other than a sandwich, etc. But felt constrained to share because restaurants served such big portions.

AIBU and what do you do if you can't eat all the food you're served? If it's convenient for me I'll take the rest away to have later but that doesn't always work.

Guess what? I still eat pretty much what's put in front of ne, even if I don't especially like it,

And you think this is a good thing!? You eat up stuff you don't like and don't especially want because you were conditioned to do that?

My PILs were like that. Which was kind of fine when they were younger and had hearty, healthy appetites. FIL is now very old and has a small appetite. I long since learned to take care when serving him a meal, I give him a small portion and put the sides out for him to help himself.

In the past if I plated up and gave him a bit too much he would force himself to eat it all and then be up half the night with indigestion and not want anything to eat the next day. It didn't matter how many times I said "Just eat what you can manage and leave the rest" he had to clear his plate because he had been conditioned to do that as a child.

I genuinely don't see why people think it is a virtue to clear their plate if that means eating food they don't want. Admittedly if you have helped yourself to too much then that is wasteful. But if someone else's judgement of serving size is bigger than your own why should you ignore your own body when it is telling you enough is enough?

We unfortunately cant afford food waste

So tonight we are having a dinner of the last of the cooked veg made into a bubble and squeak and the last bits of turkey and ham, after finishing the left over Chinese takeaway that our house guests bought on Saturday , last night

However we dont take extras from the breakfast buffet for lunch. We take what we can actually eat

Lunch , we would get a sandwich apiece, share a scoop of chips and even share a can of pop - because we know that's all we actually want

Im lucky I work in a small supermarket and I collect their food waste and distribute it to those in my community who arent concerned about sell by dates - and those bits that may be past human consumption , we all have animals who its fine for - domestic and small holding animals

If I was out with friends and eating and I couldn't finish - I would automatically offer around.

I definitely should have offered it round. I usually do and am not sure why I didn't this time - maybe I hadn't had a chance to before she pounced?

Can’t say I’ve ever had any ‘gross’ sausages or bacon at any hotel buffet. Dh and I thoroughly enjoyed our 4 breakfasts over Christmas. The mushrooms and tomatoes were very good, too.

I hope that the hotel rooms had fridges, otherwise I wouldn’t eat bacon that had been at room temperature for over 24 hours…

Yeh, you’re right. So I’ve changed my vote.

now YABU.

I wonder if she felt embarrassed about asking and navigated that by being judgemental.

Either way, just continue to order what you want and stop eating when you are full.
It's more wasteful to keep eating past the point of satiety than to leave a little.

I don't understand what you're saying but please vote however you like. Thanks.

Again, leaving half a sandwich is not the problem with food waste.

I didn't say didn't want. You're stretching things, now.
For example. I don't like several fairly standard vegetables, but if visiting friends and they cook a meal, I will eat the vegetables. I don't expect someone to faf with the menu just for me as it's a preference; it's polite and doesn't waste food.
Give me too big a meal and of course I'll leave some, but that's different and not what I said.

MIL has a close friend who often joins them for Christmas and was with us on Boxing Day. The FUSS she made about food waste. Yes I have bought a lot of food, yes we will try to use up the leftovers (and I always do a pretty good job!). But NO I do not need to save a tiny nobble of cheese from the cheeseboard (half the block is still in the fridge and we will eat that) and YES some food will unfortunately be wasted because it is impossible to eat it all before it goes out of date. I freeze what I can and make turkey curry, pie etc but some things do not keep well, have already been frozen or quite frankly I don’t fancy.

I will not be a martyr to it as it sounds your friend is - a bacon roll from breakfast two days ago for lunch Jesus wept.

I get wonky coffee pods and a wonky bread box that uses up stuff which would otherwise be wasted at a supermarket level. I do feel if you have had your use of it in your household then it isn’t really wasted.

Also 'sandwich' has many variables. Different types of bread, meat, size. A footlong subway is a sandwich, try one of those deli sandwiches in the US and see how easily you finish it

Nailed it

I’m not sure I understand an obsession with food waste. I mean, no waste is good but in terms of types of waste food is very benign. Assuming you have a food waste collection it’s used in anaerobic digestion to produce power (or sometimes fuel). There are people hungry in the world, but my understanding is that that’s due to pricing, logistics, politics and distribution rather than any actual shortage of food. So to my mind buying too much food is far less “bad” than using plastic tat, annual electronic updates, or disposable fashion.

This is a real question not a wind up, so if anyone has any actual facts as to why food waste is particularly bad please do post it.

I grew up in a family where you ate what you were given and was expected to clear your plate, especially if you wanted dessert. I wasn't abused or mistreated, but food wasn't a luxury to be wasted.

Forcing a child to do something with their body they don't want to in order to receive something they do want is sadly a clear form of abuse. Just because it was common and wasn't perceived as abuse still doesn't make it ok. A lot of CSA survivors never realised they were being mistreated at the time either and it takes a lot of reflection to reframe what happened.

It sounds a bit exaggerated but force feeding and CSA aren't even too far apart. It's a deliberate violation of bodily boundaries. Very few people will agree that making a child endure nausea or visceral discomfort for the sole purpose of making an adult happy constitutes good parenting. The problem is that it's become so normalised, some parents don't realise they're inflicting this on their children because they had the same thing done to them. (Edit: Obviously some parents might be motivated by nutrition but there is a big difference between offering and encouraging healthy foods vs forcing a child to eat everything on their plate).

Money obviously plays a role in teaching children scarcity, but that would theoretically apply to everything. By the same logic, every consumable item in the home needs to be treated with the same sacredness as food. So if a child gets their clothes dirty or wets the bed, it's acceptable not to wash them because that would be wasting water, detergent and electricity? If a child wants new art supplies, they must write & draw with their existing markers until the ink inside every single one has been used up? The same coercion used to make children eat up food seems crazy when applied to non-perishable materials.

I had too.much sandwich earlier so gave the.crusts to the pigeons.

🤣 order the gluten free option. I guarantee you it will be toddler sized. You'll probably pay extra though 😫

Exactly!

supermarkets who throw away perfectly good food past it's sell by date instead of donating it should be ashamed.

You'd be surprised just how much supermarkets DO donate now.

I had a time in my life when I couldn't afford to eat regularly. I was in an abusive relationship and would go to anywhere with free or cheap food to get fed - toddler groups at the local health centre, parties, promotions with free samples etc. The thought of the leftovers being binned was genuinely upsetting because they represented another meal to me but I was too embarrassed and stigmatised to ask for them.

I can really understand that, and I hope you are in a better place now ❤️‍🩹

I agree that people who massively over order and then leave most of it are being wasteful. And I agree that supermarkets and restaurant chains can be wasteful. But I don’t agree with people who are hell bent on shaming individuals for being unable to finish something.

I once met someone like this when travelling. I was in the US where the portion sizes are double what they are here and was essentially shamed infront of a group for being unable to finish the burger I ordered in a restaurant, where the meal option was burger with fries included - so literally just a singular meal I ordered that turned up far too big. Apparently it was a shame because there were so many homeless people on the streets outside and I was leaving food. Still not sure how making myself sick by overeating would’ve helped the situation but anyway

The food waste police on MN drive me nuts. Someone mentioned on a thread that their Xmas Turkey was rank queue all the FWP telling them to make curries or pies followed by a whole load of comments saying how bad it was to chuck it. Just bin stuff and move on

I don't see anything wrong in her taking half a sandwich that would have ended up in the bin. I don't like food waste either and in your position would have been pleased someone had the sandwich.
I think you were both judgemental of each other., and theres nothing to pick between you.
She had no need to make a song and dance about it and be holier than thou.
You have no need to call her behaviour 'hysteria' and imply that people who don't like food waste are just bring tight.

Maybe she has experienced food poverty in her life?