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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Food waste hysteria has gone too far

102 replies

Nifty50something · 29/12/2025 16:02

Of course it's wrong that vast quantities of food is a wasted when some people don't have enough to eat. Restaurants and supermarkets who throw away perfectly good food past it's sell by date instead of donating it should be ashamed. And we should all try to use up the food we buy of we can. But some people are so far up on their high horse about food waste nowadays it's ridiculous

For example I was on a group holiday on half board and went out for lunch with a friend as well as her friend who I didn't know previously but who had come along on the holiday. I ordered a sandwich but could only eat about half of it and left the rest on my plate. The friend of a friend had taken a roll and some bacon from the breakfast buffet so hadn't ordered anything at the restaurant. She asked me if I was going to finish my food and when I said no she said she would have it because "food waste is wrong." She ate it, saving the bacon roll she had taken which she had for lunch the following day. She didn't offer to pay towards my sandwich or say thank you or anything. It was all done in a very judgemental way

When I talked to my friend about it she agreed with me that her friend had been rude but then added she didn't agree with food waste either. I asked her what I was meant to do and she said in future my friend and I could order one sandwich and share it. I was fine with this but sometimes would have liked to order something different from my friend, have something other than a sandwich, etc. But felt constrained to share because restaurants served such big portions.

AIBU and what do you do if you can't eat all the food you're served? If it's convenient for me I'll take the rest away to have later but that doesn't always work.

OP posts:
Specialagentblond · 29/12/2025 21:46

YANBU. if someone wants to waste something that they’ve bought, it’s their preference. It’s not as though you could have ordered half a sandwich.

im trying to waste less but I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if a friend decided not to finish their sandwich.

DrCoconut · 29/12/2025 21:48

AirborneElephant · 29/12/2025 20:14

I can really understand that, and I hope you are in a better place now ❤️‍🩹

Yes. I left my ex 25 years ago and rebuilt my life. I'm not well off but we manage and never go hungry.

ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 29/12/2025 22:14

AirborneElephant · 29/12/2025 19:28

I’m not sure I understand an obsession with food waste. I mean, no waste is good but in terms of types of waste food is very benign. Assuming you have a food waste collection it’s used in anaerobic digestion to produce power (or sometimes fuel). There are people hungry in the world, but my understanding is that that’s due to pricing, logistics, politics and distribution rather than any actual shortage of food. So to my mind buying too much food is far less “bad” than using plastic tat, annual electronic updates, or disposable fashion.

This is a real question not a wind up, so if anyone has any actual facts as to why food waste is particularly bad please do post it.

I think it’s especially bad if people are throwing meat away. At least if you are killing an animal then actually make use of it. It shouldn’t die without reason. For this reason I really hate these restaurants that do the OTT dustbin lids of food with far more than a normal person could eat and they are all chops, burgers and chicken pieces.

JWD · 29/12/2025 22:52

sensible approach.

  • Get really good at judging your portion size
  • Take a smaller portion and go for seconds if you fancy more.
  • If you start getting full finish up the meat bits and leave the carbs just to be respectful of life.
  • Don’t force yourself to eat something if you’re full. Listen to your body.
  • Never override your kids physical boundaries by making them eat up if they’re full.
  • Try and reuse the leftovers and if it’s not possible then it’s ok to throw out bits of food.
  • Guilt tripping and shaming kids for not eating up is bad form and can lead to very disordered eating.
  • Lectures about poor kids in faraway places / a parents’ war childhood are not helpful because me finishing my plate doesn’t solve these tragedies
Spudthespanner · 29/12/2025 22:55

Nifty50something · 29/12/2025 16:17

I would have expected her to just say "if you're not going to eat that can I have it? Thanks." I wouldn't have expected payment but judgement even less so. It's funny the way some posters pick up on one tiny detail in a post (that I mentioned she hadn't offered to pay for part of it) and totally miss the bigger picture (that this woman was bonkers). I just would like to know what percentage of people have become this bonkers about food waste.

You’re bonkers.

Cautiouswalrus · 29/12/2025 23:02

I was in a restaurant recently and a bunch of twenty something’s were drinking on a nearby table . Young arty trendies you might say.
When the people next to us had finished eating (but left a considerable amount on plates) the trendies swooped in and said ‘can we eat your leftovers ?it saves food being wasted’. Then proceeded to eat the leftovers of a table of strangers. I found that quite extreme and pretty brazen , and they didn’t even get clean cutlery. And no, they didn’t know each other, the other table were just as surprised. No food was wasted though 🤢

justpassmethemouse · 30/12/2025 00:00

Nifty50something · 29/12/2025 16:17

I would have expected her to just say "if you're not going to eat that can I have it? Thanks." I wouldn't have expected payment but judgement even less so. It's funny the way some posters pick up on one tiny detail in a post (that I mentioned she hadn't offered to pay for part of it) and totally miss the bigger picture (that this woman was bonkers). I just would like to know what percentage of people have become this bonkers about food waste.

But she doesn’t sound bonkers? The most stand-out part of the post to me is the idea that she should have paid you back for the half of the sandwich. Which isn’t as weird now that you’ve said it was a throwaway comment.

Maybe it’s a bit unusual that she’s having your leftovers when she doesn’t know you that well. But it seems pretty normal to me for friends to steal their mate’s leftovers.

LuerLock · 30/12/2025 01:06

AirborneElephant · 29/12/2025 19:28

I’m not sure I understand an obsession with food waste. I mean, no waste is good but in terms of types of waste food is very benign. Assuming you have a food waste collection it’s used in anaerobic digestion to produce power (or sometimes fuel). There are people hungry in the world, but my understanding is that that’s due to pricing, logistics, politics and distribution rather than any actual shortage of food. So to my mind buying too much food is far less “bad” than using plastic tat, annual electronic updates, or disposable fashion.

This is a real question not a wind up, so if anyone has any actual facts as to why food waste is particularly bad please do post it.

I'd say there are several issues at stake, but first bear in mind that around one third of all food intended for human consumption goes to waste, globally (some of this is inedible parts, such as banana skins, corn husks etc but most is perfectly edible). Waste occurs from field to fork, including harvests that are spoiled by mould or vermin, damage in transit, right up to vegetables rotting unnoticed at the back of the fridge and leftovers being binned.

With so much of the food we produce not actually being eaten, this means that many of the resources used to produce that uneaten food are also being waste. Let's start with the land. 70% of the UK is farmed (this includes things like sheep grazing on hillsides as well as fields growing crops). The UK also happens to be one of the most nature-depleted countries, and one of the problems for nature is lack of habitat. If less food was being wasted, less land would be required to produce it, so there could be more space for nature. For a more dramatic example, consider the Amazon rainforest. Nearly 20% of it has been destroyed, much of that for farming. Soaring global demand for meat means that huge numbers of cattle now graze on what was the rainforest, and there are also vast areas of rainforest that have been cleared for soya bean production, 90% of which is used as animal feed (chickens, pigs, cattle). The mere act of clearing forest releases enormous quantities of carbon dioxide (a greenhouse gas) into the atmosphere.

Then there are the resources required for growing the food. For plant crops, there's water (about 70% of fresh water is used for agriculture, much of which happens in areas that are already water-stressed), fertilisers (which can pollute rivers and lakes), weedkillers and pesticides (leading to a monoculture which supports almost no other forms of life at best, and Parkinsons disease and cancers in farm workers and their families at worst). Some of these plant crops will be used to feed livestock, who will also require additional water (and let's not forget the routine use of antibiotics, since 65% of the world's antibiotics are fed to farm animals, in part to prevent disease spreading in crowded and unsanitary conditions).

Once they've grown, they have to be harvested, which generally requires fossil fuels to power the combine harvester/get the livestock to the abbatoir. More fossil fuels to move the food around the world and process them, and get them into supermarkets and back to our homes. Lots of packaging, much of it single-use plastic. 60% of food waste happens at household level, so we're back to the aubergine slowly liquifying at the back of your fridge, or the MNetters who roast a whole chicken but only eat the breast mest and bin the rest of the bird.

There's so much more I could talk about: Thailand's mangrove swamps devastated by prawn farming; the high rates of mental health problems and trauma amongst slaughterhouse workers; the lunacy of trade deals established with Australia and New Zealand rather than Europe in the wake of Brexit. But it's late and I'm tired, and you've probably stopped reading this now anyway.

However, in summary, food is of course necessary so we can't avoid all of the horrors detailed above, but if we can reduce food waste, we can also reduce the associated deforestation and water consumption and fossil fuel use and so on.

Nifty50something · 30/12/2025 08:50

justpassmethemouse · 30/12/2025 00:00

But she doesn’t sound bonkers? The most stand-out part of the post to me is the idea that she should have paid you back for the half of the sandwich. Which isn’t as weird now that you’ve said it was a throwaway comment.

Maybe it’s a bit unusual that she’s having your leftovers when she doesn’t know you that well. But it seems pretty normal to me for friends to steal their mate’s leftovers.

I guess what I meant when I mentioned not offering towards the sandwich was more that I felt it was really mean of her to be nasty and judgemental towards me while sitting there eating food I had paid for. I wouldn't have expected her or anyone else to offer money but I would have expected her to say thanks and not go on and on about how wasteful it would have been to leave half a sandwich.

Anyway, by the end of the holiday she had annoyed or even really upset every other person in the group in different ways - through lecturing and being judgemental about various topics, trying to boss everyone around into doing only what she wanted to do, correcting everyone on anything she saw as a mistake no matter how tiny, being really cheap and taking advantage of others' generosity and being absolutely no fun in any way. Her original friend no longer speaks to her. And this year we're all going on holiday without her.

OP posts:
Nifty50something · 30/12/2025 08:56

Anyway much more importantly thanks for such a good debate which I found really interesting. I learned a lot about food waste that I wasn't aware of. I'm so surprised that 60% of food waste comes from households, @LuerLock I would have thought it was mostly industrial.

I still am not going to force myself to eat whatever is put in front of me but I am going to be more mindful in future about food waste at home. Although we don't actually waste that much and we never waste meat - the dog would be outraged if we ever put meat scraps in the bin!

OP posts:
SereneCoralExpert · 30/12/2025 08:59

sometimes would have liked to order something different from my friend, have something other than a sandwich, etc.

that's weird, why didn't you?

No one is expected to eat the food served in most pubs/ restaurants - they can't win, they need portions big enough so people don't think they've been conned and someone with a big appetite has enough, but of course everyone else will find it too much.

NotMySanta · 30/12/2025 09:10

Most of my friends would look at a plateful when it is served and say “oh there’s no way I can eat all that - can I persuade someone to share?” Then a friend would say, “sure, we’ll go halves on the bill.”

I think your lunch scenario is a bit odd. It sounds like the friend is desperately trying to economise and your “wastefulness” touched a raw nerve.

I wouldn’t expect your acquaintance to get angry, but nor would I expect them to offer to pay! In this situation I’d probably say “it looks delicious and a shame to waste it. Do you mind…?” And help myself. But only with a close friend.

I do frequently wish restaurants would let adults order from the kids menu - I often struggle to finish a plate.

I have literally never been offered a doggie bag for food, nor seen anyone take one to a nice restaurant. I certainly don’t want my spare food in a disposable plastic container. I’d just like to order a small portion, please.

Coffeeishot · 30/12/2025 09:21

Itsmetheflamingo · 29/12/2025 16:33

That’s not food waste that’s a tight arse. I bet she’d peel an orange in her pocket

I was just going to say this. I can't stand people who take from a hotel breakfast buffet but she then went on to eat something else she deemed "free" she is just stingy probably practises "Frugality" as a lifestyle.

Op you did nothing wrong people are not food waste hysterical.

SumUp · 30/12/2025 09:39

Food waste is obviously not great but sanctimoniousness is not either!

If I was not very hungry, I’d ask if any of my dining party wanted to go halves. Or ask for a doggy bag. Or ask them not to serve the chips it usually comes with. Or just order a starter. There are numerous solutions that don’t involve binning half the dish…

Yesterday I shared a pub sandwich with a friend. They are big, so I totally get it!

Greenfinch7 · 30/12/2025 09:44

That friend of a friend should not have been openly judgemental, but equally I think you should have offered your half sandwich around...

I would have said: 'I wish I could finish this sandwich- I don't like to waste it. Could anyone els eat it or take it for later?'

I feel bad wasting food and would be relieved to give it to someone who wanted it!

lazyarse123 · 30/12/2025 09:45

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 29/12/2025 16:18

Personally I don’t think there’s enough ‘hysteria’ about food waste. Over Christmas largely with relatives, we stayed for 4 nights at a Premier Inn that provided a substantial and very good buffet breakfast. And every morning we saw plates being cleared away that still had a fair amount of uneaten food - sausages, eggs, bacon, toast, croissants, you name it.

Why do people take so much food if they’re not going to eat it? A buffet means you can always go back for more - and there was always plenty.

You're quite right but i have to say we stayed at a Premier Inn when our shower was being replaced and the breakfast was really awkward. We had one of us doing the toast and the other getting the cooked breakfast and then going back for drinks. By the time we'd done fannying about the food was cold and we left most of it. We were supposed to stay two nights but left after one because of it. Luckily the repairers had got the water back on.

Spudthespanner · 30/12/2025 09:57

NotMySanta · 30/12/2025 09:10

Most of my friends would look at a plateful when it is served and say “oh there’s no way I can eat all that - can I persuade someone to share?” Then a friend would say, “sure, we’ll go halves on the bill.”

I think your lunch scenario is a bit odd. It sounds like the friend is desperately trying to economise and your “wastefulness” touched a raw nerve.

I wouldn’t expect your acquaintance to get angry, but nor would I expect them to offer to pay! In this situation I’d probably say “it looks delicious and a shame to waste it. Do you mind…?” And help myself. But only with a close friend.

I do frequently wish restaurants would let adults order from the kids menu - I often struggle to finish a plate.

I have literally never been offered a doggie bag for food, nor seen anyone take one to a nice restaurant. I certainly don’t want my spare food in a disposable plastic container. I’d just like to order a small portion, please.

Why would they say “we’ll go halves on the bill?” They’re already paying for the thing they’ve ordered, why are they also paying half of someone else’s meal?

SereneCoralExpert · 30/12/2025 10:00

I can't stand people who take from a hotel breakfast buffet

why? I am not talking of building a picnic lunch and filling up a rucksack, but I've paid for it. I am not hungry first thing, what difference does it make to you if I eat my muffin there or mid-morning?

Literally the reason why many of us pay for the breakfast, to get mid-morning snacks for us or kids if you want to call it that. I wouldn't bother paying otherwise.

shiningstar2 · 30/12/2025 10:06

When I'm at home I serve myself a portion I know I can eat and there is no food waste. If I'm out and having a chicken or steak meal, if the portion of meat is too big I take it home for my dog. If I"m served too much on other occasions and I have had sufficient, of course I will leave the excess on my plate. In these circumstances I am not in control of portion sizes and if I was to eat the extra I don't need that food is just as wasted stored as (even more) fat inside me. When there is no other choice, I prefer an actual dustbin for excess food I have no control over to me becoming a human dustbin.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 30/12/2025 10:09

lazyarse123 · 30/12/2025 09:45

You're quite right but i have to say we stayed at a Premier Inn when our shower was being replaced and the breakfast was really awkward. We had one of us doing the toast and the other getting the cooked breakfast and then going back for drinks. By the time we'd done fannying about the food was cold and we left most of it. We were supposed to stay two nights but left after one because of it. Luckily the repairers had got the water back on.

Sorry, I don’t get the problem. Dh and I went separately for juice, fruit, cereal, yoghurt, etc. ate that, then went back for bacon, eggs, toast, etc., ate that.

Got our own coffees. Nothing got cold.

lazyarse123 · 30/12/2025 10:13

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 30/12/2025 10:09

Sorry, I don’t get the problem. Dh and I went separately for juice, fruit, cereal, yoghurt, etc. ate that, then went back for bacon, eggs, toast, etc., ate that.

Got our own coffees. Nothing got cold.

Dh did the toast while i got the bacon etc. The toaster must have been ancient it took forever. Then i went for drinks and there was a queue while people worked it out.
I think it was just badly organised.

WiltedLettuce · 30/12/2025 10:30

User7854653 · 29/12/2025 16:31

I genuinely believe many of the "food waste police" people had very traumatic or abusive childhoods. Forcing children to eat everything on their plates or giving them lectures about starving kids in Africa are common tools for extremely authoritarian or religious families to abuse their kids under the guise of morality.

Food in itself has very little intrinsic value. If whoever bought the food is happy to throw it out, then there are no victims. In the bigger picture, it's often healthier and better if certain foods are not eaten (high calorie sweets, unhealthy UPFs, anything that might be borderline expired etc).

Many parents covertly abuse their children by forcing them to ignore their own bodily autonomy. Making small children eat everything or punishing them for wasting food are really easy ways to set up a trap that results in "justified" anger. Abusive parents need reasons to dole out punishment, and food is one area that kids simply cannot escape from. Most children eventually learn not to misbehave in big ways that warrant punishment, but it's almost impossible to always eat everything given to you or not to accidentally discard a single piece of food.

These kids grow up with the false notion that wasting anything edible is a cardinal sin, when it really has zero implications in the bigger picture. It was simply a way for parents to control their kids to make life easier for themselves.

It's also no surprise that the anti food waste people have a disproportionate amount of rage in relation to how insignificant the topic actually is. Their beliefs stemmed from unpleasant totalitarian upbringing and seeing others throw out food triggers a huge amount of trauma for themselves.

Edited

I agree with this. Far less damage would be done if people refrained entirely from commenting on what they or others are/are not eating and just left well alone.

It's a form of controlling behaviour.

Saz12 · 30/12/2025 10:37

It's easy to order too much in unfamiliar restaurants and cafes, portion sizes can be really unpredictable. And "its better to waste a little food than waste your health" ie forcing yourself to finish even though you're full isn't healthy.

At home, I try and take a smaller portion but will have seconds if I like, same for DC - put a moderately sized portion out but can have as much extra as they like.

Bimblebombles · 30/12/2025 10:39

I made fat balls for the birds using rendered down christmas meat fat, oats and a few bags of nuts that had gone past their expiry date this morning, and I plan on heating up the christmas leftover meat for the cat later on. There is always a use for scraps. I don't like throwing things away.

ObelixtheGaul · 30/12/2025 10:41

Fifthtimelucky · 29/12/2025 17:22

Me too.

As a child I was expected to eat everything on my plate - both at home and at primary school.

I don’t consider that I had an abusive or traumatic childhood. What I did have were two parents who had been brought up during the Second World War and to whom all food was a precious commodity. They hated food waste and I agree with them.

It seems to be much more acceptable than it used to be to ask for a doggy bag, and that is a very good thing in my opinion.

Yes, I think a lot of people forget that many of us have parents who lived through rationing, which didn't completely end until 1954. My own parents would only have been very young then, but I can't imagine my grandparents suddenly dropped rationing mentality overnight, which meant they were brought up to treat food as a precious resource, and frankly, that's how I was brought up. Nothing abusive about it, my mum was good with portion sizes and because we weren't constantly stuffing crap between meals, we ate what was put in front of us.