DH being a complete arse!

[Sam9769]

Walking our two dogs today around a local field and rural road which is fairly busy. DH had one dog on a flexi lead and I had the other.
In the field, the the flexi leads were at their full length to allow the dogs to run around. As we were walking along the road, DH refused to rein in his flexi lead allowing the dog to run along the road. I asked him several time to rein him in as it was clearly a dangerous thing to do as he would have little control if the dog ran in front of a car our van. DH refused to do so saying it was safe! Several cars and a van went by including electric cars which are hard to hear.
When I asked him why he wouldn't listen to me the response was "Why, or why or why?" obviously belittling me. I then took hold of both dogs and struggled with them while another dog walker passed by with his dog. When I looked up DH was standing there laughing at me. I told him he was a complete arse and took the dogs into the house.
AIBU or is DH and arse?

YANBU and your DH is a stupid prick but so many of them are... 🫤

Not sure why you're asking unless it's tongue in cheek or something?

There are so many 100% obvious 'YABU' or 'YANBU' threads being started lately, it's hard to tell.

Sorry, your husband is a massive cock.
I utterly despise the laughing thing as a way to belittle someone and I'd have to have a conversation as to how the days events made me feel.

He is an arse but YABU to have flexi leads in the first place (in general)

YABU to have flexi leads at all but your husband is also an arse

If he really is that thick and irresponsible, give him a short dog lead only so he can't cause an accident.

As someone who nearly ran over a dog on a retractable lead that got spooked and ran out in front of my car - I say YANBU!! I also had to take a poor dog to the vet after it was run over when it's owner failed to notice it had crossed the road without her. A car then came along, snagged the lead and dragged the poor dog under the wheel - the dog didn't survive....

They should be banned except for use on fields/far FAR away from roads

Is your "D"H always such an arse?

Is this nornal behaviour for him ? Why have you managed to marry this numpty? Or is he having some mental breakdown?

What's wrong with having flexi leads in a field?

Good point! I told him that he was acting like a demented fool!

Flexi-leads are used when a dog isn't adequately trained. I don't mean that to sound rude but if you trusted your dogs recall you'd let them off a lead in a field.
I find they also encourage dogs to pull on the lead too, and people tend to attach them to a harness which has absolutely no place unless your dog is a husky being used to pull sled.

I 'm really sorry to hear this and that you and the dog had to dog through this awful experience due to someone's stupidity!

Nothing! But you weren’t in the field at the time, you were on the road
I (dog trainer) use flexi leads but never, EVER on a pavement. The dogs should be swapped to a short lead in leaving the field

The problem is having a flexi lead walking to & from a field

Lol isn't that the whole point of the OP's thread??

I think what people are missing is that the OP was replying to...

YABU to have flexi leads at all but your husband is also an arse

The 'at all' bit?

Oh grow up! Flexi leads are brilliant when used CORRECTLY!

Don’t be ridiculous! Harnesses are far better especially when used in a car. If you do an emergency stop with their seatbelt attached to a collar (a dog seatbelt is now a legal requirement) it will hang the bloody dog 🙄 Collars should be banned

We use flexi on a field and then shorten him when off the field. That is a completely normal and safe way to behave. We never let ours off lead as he cannot be trusted to recall despite many training attempts with a professional. But even if he did, I doubt we would let him off nowadays as other dogs off lead can be a bit of a issue. Only time he is off is when we hire out the dog park. So the flexi lead gives him a little freedom to sniff about etc. Your comment is ridiculous

Sadly I’ve seen many instances where the locking mechanism has failed. No way would I trust a flexi on roads fir that reason

Yabu for parenting your husband

I completely agree with you, we do hold the lead on the actual lead part as well as handle. Maybe I am overly cautious but I would be devastated if anything happened to our dog if it failed. I suppose if I had more than one dog I would need to consider switching to a fixed lead. But yes, you are correct, I have seen this happen as well.

I honestly think I’d be single if it weren’t for my dh; so many of them add nothing to their wives’ lives.

Unless this is a situation where your husband dislikes the dogs and would be happy for them to come to harm, the issue seems to be that he thinks that the fully extended leads wouldn't be long enough to reach the flow of traffic (I assume that's obviously disprovable) OR that the dogs are so well trained there's no risk they would be hit. In that case, he probably thinks your approach is too cautious and while that's OK for you and the dog you're walking, he's not going to let you impose it on him.

The question is, why can't he just tell you this and discuss rationally whether the leads really need to be retracted, instead of making stupid passive-aggressive jokes and laughing? It must have been clear that you were distressed; even if didn't agree with your perception of the situation, why would that be funny to him?

Another dickhead in a woman’s life. Christ. So many out there.