For me it started with my parents.
(So you asked ‘person’, most went with men straight away (which is understandable), but I’d collectively say both my mother and father in my scenario..
To the outside world, a housewife, and a solicitor.
Born in the 80’s to them.
Two people damaged from their own own childhood who should never have got together. But they did.
A woman looking for stability, from a man who had financial stability in a slightly more upper class family.
Both not healthy characters if ever there was a psychological test for humans to bring new life into this world.
Neglect and isolation led to boredom perhaps, lack of social outlets. And I was abused by my older brother in the fields of our home in the summer holidays. (Around the age of 8)
Once voiced to my parents, totally brushed off.
As if I was a naughty child.
As grew up, parents divorced due to mothers dissatisfaction of marrying for financial security but not love. And couldn’t adhere to our family life dynamics. New partners, new marriages, step or half children on both sides.. myself and my brothers becoming a nuisance as a reminder to their marriage, a constant financial battle between them, and a burden to their new partners. I seeked solice in men as a result.
A friends father took interest in me where my father didn’t ( early to mid teenage years).
I left and said I would not be living with either of them
for split custody (when it suited them) to live with a grandfather I hadn’t seen for a while from the age of 15/16 onwards when was fed up of being packed off here there and everywhere when they were busy with their partners and partners kids on out of term holidays and didn’t want to include us.
Grandfather was breath of fresh air. But of course I seeked validation, desire, the want to be wanted. And so when went to college onwards, any man (mostly not so great characters) who showed me desire.
Im ashamed to say I have three relationships with narcotic addicted (much older than me) at each time. Men. Spanning over 15 yrs thereafter.
Two I later found out on this Claire’s Law police scheme. One was a 40 or so yr old when I was 18/19/20 when I don’t even know if Claire’s law existed.
They spot you a mile off if you’ve at the time not got a strong support network around you.
One (the last one of these men) I fought back after multitude of times of having my head pushed against an Aga hot plate, slammed against a wall, or hands around my neck on a bed. Knew the police’s protocal
so well from past situation he had caused / been a cause of..managed to manufacture the truth of my finally speaking out against a yr of abuse and running for my life (but not reporting it) that me fighting to protect myself was in fact an act of abuse on him).
So in 2020 (during Covid) while trapped with man and had finally fought back for my life, finally. I end d up in custody briefly because after realising I was finally going to the police, he managed to spin it knowing how the law works from his previous, reported me on fake allegation before I could run on foot to a police station.
Subsequently arrested and because arrested on false allegations of abusing a male, was on receiving end of male custody offices on duty that evening that had their own separate issues and liked to sway that on women who had any alleged charges on a man.
After a pretty un natural experience of nearly 40yrs of this life until now, where finally I’m a mother on MY terms with no man involved, and no contact from
any family member.
I’d be included to say - her parents who do not keep her safe or Instill what is right and wrong, and fair. And is there for a young girl, growing into a woman, so she is supported and prepared to know what to do and not, when in a situation to know who is the most dangerous person a woman will ever meet.
Because Without that in life, your whole map out for life is skewed on what is safe, dangerous, wrong, and right.