Mum annoyed that my husband fell asleep at 8:30pm on boxing day after over-indulging

[Angelcake1991]

Hi,

Just wanted to get people's thoughts on this please.

My mum came over on Boxing day and stayed the night. My husband spent most of the afternoon preparing a meal for us all and drank a little too much whilst doing so.
This meant he missed out on the games we played with the children and he was fast asleep on the sofa by 8.30pm snoring extremelty loudly. I was a little embarrased as was sitting there with my mum listening to him snoring.

When i spoke to mum the following day after she had gone home she said she felt very embarrased and uncomfortable about the situation. She was the guest and he shouldnt have drunk so much that he fell asleep in that state. She said she will not be texting my husband to thank him for the meal he cooked.

What are peoples thoughts?

While I dont agree with the mum there's nothing in the OPs posts to suggest that a snoring son in law is the woman's biggest worry. Why do you think that's the case?

Just seems like a non problem. He got drunk. Fell asleep . They played games. Mum got a cob on. Glad that's the worst thing she has to worry about. Crack on.

He could have gone up to bed but unless he has issues with alcohol then I don’t think this is bad.

YABU for not waking him and either getting him to join in or sending him to bed. It would be very awkward for guests listening to him snore away.

Your mum is BU for being a drama llama about it.

At least one person falls asleep every single Christmas gathering in my family. Your mum is being a bit wet to feel “uncomfortable”
about it. A big meal and even a little bit of booze can make anyone sleepy. It doesn’t sound like he is some lazy disinterested oaf, just tired after preparing the meal and Christmas in general.

Couldn’t get worked up about it. It’s a family joke that I always (as the guest) fall asleep at my cousins house, warm and cosy, full of food and usually a bit of wine, in front of a film. She takes it as a compliment that I feel comfortable enough there to nod off.

My DH and my FIL fall asleep all the time. It can be a bit annoying but I don’t really mind.

🤣🤣🤣

My husband and I both are in bed by 7.30-9pm nightly as we have little kids! 8.30 isn’t particularly early? Her mum sounds so rude and ungrateful tbh. Of course she should thank him for the meal OP!

I agree.

Such things happen unfortunately but usually not more than once, lesson learned, so your mum needs to get over it and be less prissy.

I would've recorded him snoring, taken a snap too, and laughed about the state he got himself into!
But, how lovely for him to cook an entire meal, wish my partner would do that.

I think it strange that anyone other than DH should be embarrassed, even he shouldn't really be. It was Xmas, these things happen though to be honest, I'd have just woken him up later to join in the games.

I fell asleep on Boxing Day for about an hour in the afternoon / evening sat up on the sofa. But I had been non stop working up until Xmas eve then driving across the country to be with family and it all caught up with me after lunch. I see it as being comfortable in the presence of my family, perhaps if I had been snoring they would have woke me.

if he cooked and was a bit tired I can see how easy it is to drop off on the sofa. If snoring I would have gently woken my husband and suggested he got upstairs for a nap.

He's allowed to relax and have a snooze on Boxing Day in his own home, especially after cooking for everyone.

Your Mum is being uptight. People should be allowed to be themselves in front of family.

He got drunk and passed out while entertaining.

I don't think sending or not sending a thank you text is the real issue here.

Presumably she thanked him in person already for cooking? But it sounds like drama about nothing.

I’m unsure how the voting works on this thread as unsure whose side you’re on, but your Mum is very unreasonable- he cooked a meal for everyone and had the temerity to fall asleep?

So now she won’t thank him? How rude!

There's nothing wrong with him falling asleep, it happens. But why didn't you wake him and at least ask him to go and nap upstairs or something? You left him to completely embarrass himself, snoring and all, and made everyone else awkward at the same time. Really strange, passive-aggressive behaviour. It reflects on you more than him.

Omg that’s a little dramatic isn’t it ? I don’t know any family where people don’t over indulge and fall asleep over Xmas it’s just what happens . I think your mum is being a bit ott she’s family . I’d of given him a nudge n said stop snoring or go to bed n laughed it off

I don’t understand what is embarrassing. You should have tried harder to wake him up and send him to bed but I don’t see the big deal. I’ve dropped to sleep at my in-laws before when I’ve been that knackered. They laughed and moved on.

Y Mum WBU for complaining. YAVU for posting a poll where it isn’t clear which way to vote 🤣

I’d be telling her that if she can’t thank him for the meal he kindly made her and was so embarrassed at him falling asleep in his own home, you won’t bother inviting her next year.

This post has a vote but it's not clear on what the options relate to. Is she on the mums side or the husband

I think you and your mum need to take the sticks out of your arses. Your husband made food for everyone on Boxing Day and had a wee snooze after a few drinks so what.

Someone needs to report this to the police IMMEDIATELY. Or alert the church elders!!

There’s a league of difference though between being completely arseholed and being in a bit of a coma and just being very tired after a full on Christmas and by the sounds of it, busy afternoon. I fall asleep after a thimble of wine and my husband falls asleep almost any time he sits down as he is just one of those people (not even booze related). A compromise could have been to let him have a power nap and then a nudge. It all sounds a bit heavy handed (unless he’s the first type)