Mum annoyed that my husband fell asleep at 8:30pm on boxing day after over-indulging

[Angelcake1991]

Hi,

Just wanted to get people's thoughts on this please.

My mum came over on Boxing day and stayed the night. My husband spent most of the afternoon preparing a meal for us all and drank a little too much whilst doing so.
This meant he missed out on the games we played with the children and he was fast asleep on the sofa by 8.30pm snoring extremelty loudly. I was a little embarrased as was sitting there with my mum listening to him snoring.

When i spoke to mum the following day after she had gone home she said she felt very embarrased and uncomfortable about the situation. She was the guest and he shouldnt have drunk so much that he fell asleep in that state. She said she will not be texting my husband to thank him for the meal he cooked.

What are peoples thoughts?

Guest? sad that your mother feels she’s a guest, shes family surly, and should have appreciated him cooking the meal, comes to something when a man can’t have a doze in his own home …

No she is being unreasonable
Not embarrassing at all. He could have gone out and gone to the pub as many would, without having made the meal in the first place. Just ignore her , your mum or not.

My goodness, it wasn't even Christmas day! It was only boxing day! He cooked a meal and had several drinks! It would be different if it were Christmas day, but it was only boxing day for crying out loud! Your mother sounds like a nasty, shallow stuck up person. And incredibly ungrateful. ffs it was boxing day! Not anything special at all. He cooked all afternoon, and if a guy can't drink and then go to sleep at 8:30... If I were you I would be embarrassed by your mother, not your husband. And I would have read her the riot act. What a nasty shallow person she seems. ffs it wasn't even Christmas day. Most of us aren't even in a fit state to cook the next day. He did pretty damn well, and you should be proud of him! You need to read that mother of yours the riot act. What a horrible, nasty shallow and self-absorbed person she is. If I were you I would be ashamed and embarrassed by her. I cannot believe what I am reading. If you're too Hyacinth Bucket, send your husband my way if you don't appreciate him. Wow. That poor guy. You are very lucky. And ungrateful.

Please give your husband a huge hug, and read that vile horrible mother of yours the absolute riot act.

I don't even know how to vote because you haven't outlined your 'AIBU'. But if it were that your mother is a self-absorbed horrible vile piece of work, I would vote yes. I would be embarrassed if she were my mother!

God so many awful people on this thread.

He cooked for everyone. He had a little too much to drink (it happens) He fell asleep, and OMG he snored (some people do). This is a non issue. He had family round, not guests they barely knew!

I'm appalled you were embarrassed by that and if my mum was to speak about my husband like that after he cooked for her i'd tell her she wasn't welcome back.

Except my mother is a decent human being and would have told me to let him sleep and offered to help in some way to take burden off him, like clean up or get him a coffee or something.

You all saying "YABU its rude" need better family and friends and need to chill out.

You are uptight OP and your mum is awful, but that explains why you're uptight.

He cooked for everyone and had too much to drink and fell asleep, I don’t see what her problem is, was it her alcohol? Did he fall asleep in her lap?

@Angelcake1991 he is in his own house, is he not allowed to over indulge at xmas. Sounds like he was exhausted if he was hard to wake up. It was your mum not yhe king and queen.

We’d just laugh at him if it happened in our house. Your mum should definitely be thanking him for cooking her dinner.

I’m very much of the opinion that it’s his home, his Christmas and your mum is now his family. My FIL often falls asleep after a meal. No big deal. If his snoring was loud and annoying tell him to get up to bed. Otherwise no sure why your mums so upset by it. Very precious.

Kids nodded off too

My thoughts are she can go fuck herself. He crashed out a bit early, seriously, so what? He cooked and had a few drinks, shock horror, call the fun police!!! Is she always such a judgemental bitch?

Yep, totally. The mother is pure garbage. If I were the OP I would be too ashamed to even admit she were my mother.

That’s different then isn’t it.

You didn’t leave your guest or 1 parent to entertain the kids - that’s the issue.

Sleeping is fine but not if it means leaving guests or kids to entertain themselves.
I’m sure OP would have liked a few drinks and a nap too.

Storm in a teacup!

Same here, I d fall asleep every night on the sofa, drink or not! I am a lark not a night owl! My husband would rather I’m there, asleep, then in bed early, so it’s a compromise! Maybe your husband is the same! I think he should be allowed to fall asleep on the sofa in his own house and feel comfortable doing so, nothing embarrassing about it, he was just tired!

If my partner fell asleep I'd gently wake him and send him up to bed.

I think if it was happening repeatedly, she'd have a right to complain; but once in a blue moon at Christmas-no. In any case it doesn't mean that he shouldn't be thanked for cooking.

Non issue for me. People fall asleep here all the time - actually at one point all 4 guests were asleep in our lounge on Xmas day! (All elderly or with health issues) you should be comfortable with family.

My husband and father in law were asleep by about 4.30pm on Christmas Day. DH helped out but FIL didn't even have that excuse. No-one minds!

Loads of people fall asleep on the sofa on Christmas/boxing day. It comes with the day, like pulling crackers, eating sprouts and watching Christmas specials, surely?

FFS it's supposed to be a day to relax and be with the people you are closest to and who love you the most. You haven't invited the bloody royals over 🙄

Your mum needs to chill out. At my house on Christmas day my nephew came in, ate dinner with us, gave us all lovely gifts and then promptly fell asleep for around 5-6hrs
My mum's partner had a half hour snooze after presents.
My sister's partner, who we barely know slept for a bit on the sofa too, then woke up and carried on with the afternoon.
DH probably would have slept if he'd had the extra pudding he'd been eyeing up 😆

On boxing day, at DH's family, his niece not only fell asleep, she nicked the brand new blanket my DS had just been gifted to do so! And why not? We're a family!!!

Embarrassed about snoring? I’d be embarrassed to have such prissy attitudes. He had a little snooze - he didn’t take a shit on the carpet. Jeez it’s Christmas - you and your mum need to chill the fuck out.

I’m not sure what the issue is. Especially if this is not a regular occurrence. It’s also CHRISTMAS! Where people relax, eat drink and be merry. (Apart from your mother! 🤣

1. it was Boxing Day
2. it’s HIS home
3. he has cooked for several people, so everyone was fed and watered.
4. He wasn’t being loud or aggressive. (I mean snoring? Comes on!)

Yes he fell asleep, however YOU allowed him to lie there and snore loudly. Why didn’t you wake him and ask him to go up to bed if you were so “embarrassed”?

Your mom is being pathetic. She was a guest in someone else’s house. She wasn’t so horrified by it, as she ate the dinner he prepared and cooked, then stayed after he had fallen asleep.

I would be sticking up for my Husband and tell her that it’s okay not to say thank you, but she won’t be invited again.

Sounds like your mother has high expectations… which is fine for her house. Not anyone else’s.

It’s quite funny but I’d be annoyed at him if I wanted him to join it but I’d probably just laugh at him! It’s the kind of thing I do lol!!

Yes! It could be an accumulative effect of working hard in the run up, all the social expectations and cooking not just one but two different meals (as he appears to have done) and some booze. For me that would be fatal. For what it’s worth this was me Christmas Day and I didn’t even cook Christmas lunch. I was absolutely shagged after a tough work schedule and hosting family and friends Christmas Eve. One glass of fizz and I was good for nothing and had several long blinks throughout the day. We have absolutely no idea what the back story is here but there is nothing in the OP to suggest this guy is a twat. Maybe he’d been up since the crack of dawn with the kids.

If it had been my house, he probably would have either been ignored, had endearing looks thrown his way, or dressed up with silly moustaches and hats, then had photos of him posted in the family WhatsApp.
Noone would have been annoyed. How bizarre.

Your mum is being rude and you are ridiculous to be embarrassed.