Mum annoyed that my husband fell asleep at 8:30pm on boxing day after over-indulging

[Angelcake1991]

Hi,

Just wanted to get people's thoughts on this please.

My mum came over on Boxing day and stayed the night. My husband spent most of the afternoon preparing a meal for us all and drank a little too much whilst doing so.
This meant he missed out on the games we played with the children and he was fast asleep on the sofa by 8.30pm snoring extremelty loudly. I was a little embarrased as was sitting there with my mum listening to him snoring.

When i spoke to mum the following day after she had gone home she said she felt very embarrased and uncomfortable about the situation. She was the guest and he shouldnt have drunk so much that he fell asleep in that state. She said she will not be texting my husband to thank him for the meal he cooked.

What are peoples thoughts?

Your DH is allowed to have a sleep in his own home.
Your DM is being unreasonable.

I would reply to DM “ sorry you feel that way, anyway, DH has promised to take the kids to Fuerteventura for Xmas next year, it will be great…” - and set the scene now.

I shudder to think how the outrage would have increased if the OP’s husband had farted in his sleep. Most people I know fall asleep, snore, and fart after eating a huge Christmas meal. My mum was the worst and she would barely have sat down in the armchair before she was out cold and farting like a trouper for the next hour 🤣🤣

It's Xmas he's tired he cooked a meal

Could you have nudged him ,asked him to go upstairs to sleep ? Is there relationship normally ok ?

My family we would have laughed about it, the wife probably would have videoed it for him to see the next day then woke him up after many stuffed toys out on him.

he’d cooked a huge meal which many find overwhelming. Yes shame he missed out on the games and yes visitors can find it most embarrassing, but after reading posts where husbands remain down the pub, overall, I think he did ok.

He was obviously knackered from cooking and trying to enjoy his day too, nothing wrong with that! I think your mother is the rude one and I wouldn't be inviting her again!
As for your husband, I'd have woken him up and told him that if he was tired/drunk, he should maybe go to bed?

Wow, we found one!

He acted like a twat and he should be embarrassed.

I completely understand why she’d be so annoyed that he’d left you to sort the kids out.
I’d be really upset if my DD was in a relationship with a man who felt taking care of the kids was the women’s responsibility.

However, if this was genuinely just a 1 off then she needs to let it go.

Knackered from cooking?

I thought that, but I am not sure I want to open a debate on that one 😂😂

Sorry I’m obviously a bit of a pearl clutcher but I find this oafish.

Not unreasonable to have been knackered but he could have taken himself to bed.

I also find being around drunk people unbearable at the best of times so I’m with your mum.

Doesn't everyone nod off on the sofa on Boxing Day?

I think your mother is very rude and entitled.

Your mum needs to get a grip 🤣 I thought it was standard practise to have a nap after Xmas dinner! If he was that loud, there’s no way I could have stood listening to that! I would have woken him up and said to nap upstairs then woken him back up after an hour to play a few games. Your mum is very dramatic!!

This. I can't understand what the fuss is about.

Presumably your dh works all year, is tired, then cooked Christmas lunch, had a couple of celebratory glasses of wine, and had a nap. Probably 20% of the UK did the same.

You should simply have woken him up and sent him up for a siesta.

Your mother is rude and he probably overindulged and fell asleep so as to avoid having to endure her judgemental company.

I wonder if she's seen more evidence of this before

How much do you call too much to drink? Was he tired and a bit sleepy (would still have woken him up so he wasn't snoring next to your mum), or was it more about the drink, ie he was visibly tipsy/drunk/acting like a dick before and the snooze was actually a boozy stupor? As I woul be pretty uncomfortable if I was around someone who got pissed at a family Christmas, neglected to engage with their children and passed out snoring.

In that case all 16 of us acted like a bunch of twats this Christmas. How un - festive of us!

Take a chill pill

Why would your mum feel, or find the situation awkward or embarrassing??
Your husband cooked, had a drink, and fell asleep, and snored.
Sorry, but your mum sounds like the sort of person who is only happy when they're miserable, as my mum used to say.
No big deal, what a miserable b1tch.

Men snoring on sofas is so normal to me, nothing to be embarrassed about. She’s family and if you can’t snore on the sofa in front of family then something is amiss. My ex did it, my dad did it, my sons do it, my dog does it.

It’s his house and your dm should get over herself

So who looked after your kids?

Did you leave your guest to look after your kids whilst you were sleeping?

Why is everyone saying someone sleeping is embarrassing. I think every single one of us dropped off at some point over Christmas.

This is the issue though!

How many posters have said this is normal for men or he’s tired because he’s the one that cooked?!

How many women fall asleep and assume the kids will be taken care of?

How many women fall asleep in front of guests?

I’m sure OP would have loved a nap but couldn’t because she had kids to look after and a guest.

I would be upset if my DD was in a relationship with a man who felt she was the default parent.