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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sister hijacked my time with DD

85 replies

MyFrozenfeet · 28/12/2025 18:33

When my sister found out that DD was calling in on 27th to exchange presents and have dinner she decided it would be a good time to also call in to exchange presents.
I think we talked about it a few days before Christmas but i don't think I agreed to it. DD doesn't cope well with last minute changes and she tried to hide in the kitchen with her boyfriend and her dog. My sister of course found her.
DD was coaxed to exchange presents with her, her husband and 2 kids in my tiny living room! 8 ppl and a dog. It was crazy!
Sister did this last year in DD house but i wasnt quick enough to stop it happening this year in my house. I often get overwhelmed and confused by my sister.
I need to make sure that my sister doesn't do this again or it will damage my relationship with my DD

OP posts:
Gliblet · 28/12/2025 18:34

Okay, so what do you plan to do differently next year?

Only2daystogo · 28/12/2025 18:35

You need to talk to your sister and explain the impact it has on your DD.

outerspacepotato · 28/12/2025 18:36

You need to say no quite clearly.

Don't let her hunt down your daughter. What the hell?

Don't let her in. You need a spine to protect your daughter who sounds like she was extremely overwhelmed. Either prioritize your daughter's feelings even if your sister takes offense or keep being wishy washy and strain your relationship with your daughter.

Ritaskitchen · 28/12/2025 18:36

It’s actually good for ppl to expand their circle of comfort somewhat. Otherwise life can become very small. And presents are lovely.

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 28/12/2025 18:37

DD was coaxed to exchange presents with her, her husband and 2 kids in my tiny living room! 8 ppl and a dog. It was crazy!
what was crazy though? Your sister doing this, or did something ‘crazy’ occur?
Are these difficulties new for your dd?

Snorlaxo · 28/12/2025 18:38

Just don’t tell your sister when you’re exchanging gifts with dd?

AnnaMagnani · 28/12/2025 18:40

How did your sister find out the date of the dinner?

Likely what you need to do going forwards is give her less information.

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 28/12/2025 18:40

Does your DD have additional needs? This seems like serious over-reaction on behalf of another adult.

KilkennyCats · 28/12/2025 18:42

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 28/12/2025 18:40

Does your DD have additional needs? This seems like serious over-reaction on behalf of another adult.

This…

FuzzyWolf · 28/12/2025 18:43

Ritaskitchen · 28/12/2025 18:36

It’s actually good for ppl to expand their circle of comfort somewhat. Otherwise life can become very small. And presents are lovely.

That depends on the person and the situation.

TomatoSandwiches · 28/12/2025 18:43

Don't tell your sister when your DD is coming over, she only knows if you tell her.

scottishGirl · 28/12/2025 18:44

How old is your daughter?

helpfulperson · 28/12/2025 18:46

when would have been more suitable for your sister to exchange gifts with your DD? had that been planned?

themerchentofvenus · 28/12/2025 18:46

Exchanging presents with people at Christmas is a relatively normal experience.

Hiding in the kitchen was odd. Could she not have just sat down in the living room to exchange presents. What was crazy about it? It sounds very normal to me.

Minnie798 · 28/12/2025 18:50

DD was coaxed to exchange presents with her, her husband and 2 kids in my tiny living room! 8 ppl and a dog. It was crazy!
Whats crazy about this. I feel like I must be missing something.

Homegrownberries · 28/12/2025 18:50

It wouldn't be obvious that this was something that your daughter and yourself would find upsetting. It's a normal thing to do. If you don't want it to happen again you need to get in front of the situation and make an arrangement to visit your sister at her house. That puts you in control of how long you stay. If neither of you can handle doing that then you need to question why.

SereneCoralExpert · 28/12/2025 18:52

Don't tell her when you DD is coming.

or it will damage my relationship with my DD why?

UnhappyHobbit · 28/12/2025 18:55

I’m slightly curious about your house layout out. You have a tiny living room but your daughter brought the kitchen was a good place to hide? How big is your kitchen?

Coffeeishot · 28/12/2025 18:56

If you and your Dd can't cope/manage with the family get your dd to drop into her Aunts to drop in presents and see her .cousins, your Dd is a grown woman she shouldn't be hiding in the kitchen .

CraftyPlayer · 28/12/2025 18:58

I need to make sure that my sister doesn't do this again or it will damage my relationship with my DD

really? How odd.

DaisyChain505 · 28/12/2025 18:59

Does your daughter have additional needs?

Surely you just don’t tell your sister when you plan to see your daughter?

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/12/2025 18:59

Does your daughter have some sort of affliction that makes receiving gifts such a hardship? She has her own place, a partner and a dog, does she have a job? It’s a massive overreaction from both of you.

Dgll · 28/12/2025 19:01

Unless you make it really clear to your sister, she might not realise that 8 people in one room might be a 'crazy' situation.

PauliesWalnuts · 28/12/2025 19:01

I’m as introverted as they come but you really need to encourage a bit of robustness into your daughter otherwise she will completely fail at becoming integrated into a functioning society if she’s cowering in the kitchen when someone comes round.

KilkennyCats · 28/12/2025 19:06

Sister did this last year in DD house but i wasnt quick enough to stop it happening this year in my house
Is this some sort of windup? Why would you have to be quick enough to stop your sister handing over a Christmas gift, as though it were an unexploded grenade with its pin pulled?
And your adult daughter hid in the kitchen rather than accept it?
Mega peculiar behaviour from both of you.