Horror at sons "special" christmas present?

[Becc91]

So my DS (20) came home for christmas from bristol uni with a "special" christmas present. Had me open it in front of everyone... only to find a positive pregnancy test 😱!
Turns out his new GF of 6 months, who he met online (discard?) , is an international student from Korea, studying "innovation" 🙄. I want so badly to be happy for him, but just feel he's far too young to be having a child with someone who'll be leaving the country come september.

I've always wanted to be a grandma, but not at 38!!
This, plus the fact she's 26 and we haven't even met makes me SO worried for my DS... but I'm fuming that he thought it was appropriate to give this as a present and make me open it in front of everyone.

DS now isn't speaking to me after I told him in no uncertain terms that the three of them couldn't move in when their degrees are finished- which he had the nerve to suggest over Christmas Dinner?! AIBU?

Err! What!!

Who are you to say that?

Random!!

It’s reality. She’s on a student visa. Being pregnant by a randomer doesn’t change that, whatever the daily mail says.

You didn't answer the question... no surprise there!
🙄

What is OP meant to get over? The fact.that there's absolute unworkable disaster lying ahead? Possible very expensive legal battles and all for two students who have no income and have been knocking about together for about 6 months?

The legal issue of the girlfriend being here only on a study visa eradicates any positives! Right now there are no positives! It's two students wrecking their lives and studies for a baby they can't pay for or currently raise together because she can't stay here. And it's a relationship still in its infancy so not exactly stable or solid.

He can't live in Korea, he needs job sponsorship and a decent income to even apply and he won't get that because he cannot speak or read Korean. Korea is also apparently a very expensive place to live and deposit to put down get a place to rent is actually the equivalent of the value of the property in Korea so unless these two students have a massive amount of money somewhere they won't be living anywhere there. He won't be accepted into Korea I'm sure of it. Also Koreans apparently aren't too welcoming or communicate well with foreigners.

Nonsense! He can live in Korea if he wants to. I live abroad (in a country near Korea where lots of people emigrate either before moving to Korea, or after having lived and worked in Korea). Living and working abroad is surprisingly easy and no, you dont need to speak Korean to get a work visa.

Have you ever been to Korea? Your post reads as though you havent because Korea is a lovely country and the people are extremely friendly and welcoming. Lots of people can speak English, translators exist on all mobile phones, and of course, the boy is perfectly capable of studying Korean should he move.

Your post reads as the post of someone who has mever lived or worked abroad and maybe not even travelled to the country in question and while that is fine, it is inappropriate for you to be giving advice on the topic. Especially such negative and incorrect and verging-on-racist advice!

Are you a confused far right moron who thinks all foreigners are asylum seekers? Stretch your bloody brain! She isn't an asylum seeker, she is here on a study programme! She is here legally from a country that does not have asylum seekers. If you go to Spain to slob around on a sunbed, do you become an asylum seeker entitied to somewhere to live permanently over there? No you don't because you are tourist there legally for a maximum agreed period! She has the same sort of arrangement, she's here legally for a set period. Illegal immigrants aren't given houses anyway, they never were but the propaganda you read has rotted your brain and you think a foreigner overseas is automatically an asylum seeker entitied to score house? Your brain ls that rotted that you don't think people legally travel anywhere anymore!

Then he may have to deal with his child being raised in a different country to where he lives.

Tell me you don't know sod all about immigration laws without telling me you know sod all about immigration laws! What country do you think you can just walk into and claim as yours? You can't! You have to meet certain stiff requirements! The immigration officials are the ones that say that and nothing about that is random so your response is just weird!

There was story in the media the other month of a British woman who had an online relationship with a bloke in Canada, she went out there to finally spend time with him, got pregnant to him very quickly and the authorities are not letting her overstay her tourist visa regardless of being pregnant. Pregnancies don't get you what you want when it comes to other countries I'm afraid, your career, skills and decent income may put you in a position to apply to live somewhere but your response is silly beyond belief!

This must be hard, we not long ago found out that our 21 year old is pregnant and is not with the dad but speaks to him, we have never met him. She wanted to keep the baby so supporting her. Each to their own but sound to me if you want to not travel to Korea to see your grandchild you need to help them get on their feet.

Right! I have travelled to 62 countries so don't you dare tell lies or accuse me of being racist! I literally googled it last night! I was literally reading posts on Reddit from people that have lived and worked there! You are free to look this up yourself and come back and apologise to me!
Also get yourself on the websites that tell you what requirements a UK citizen needs to work in Korea! There are monthly income requirements and he would need job sponsorship! These websites like gov.uk don't lie do they!
This guy is student! He's not a businessman or someone that's had a career and lots of skills and experience! You do understand that no countries hand out visas like sweets? I look into these things because I'd like to retire to Eastern Europe. He's a student! He won't be able to use his degree with zero practical experience and zero command of the Korean language and alphabet! You don't honestly think everybody will speak English around him do you? If you are a person been sent to work for a British or American owned company overseas etc then it's a different kettle of fish but he can't get by using a translator if he had to get work with a Korean company! I speak a fair amount German, useful when I'm travelling there but theres a thousand miles of difference between being able to speak and read enough of a language for travelling Vs what you need to work in business and deal with people that speak it fluently as their native language.
Everything I've seen online is at odds with the bile you've aimed at me! I have never been racist or agreed with racism ever and would remind you that slander is illegal!
The son needs to do his research because what you are stating is not backed up by the internet from what I've seen so far. You hardly seem calm and logical when you are using the race card for no reason. People like you are funny though, you think you're big and clever because you've been overseas and you challenge the wrong person! No I've not been to Korea yet but apparently neither have you and I've got country 64 coming up in a few weeks! Isn't it funny how much I like I travelling and meeting people around the world for an apparent racist!

There's no legal right for the girlfriend to stay here so it's not that simple as letting her move in, border force officials will still be on the doorstep to send her back to Korea.

HE GAVE A PISSY STICK

Pregnancy doesn't but a child does, if she can get it born before she needs to leave the country. Because of the childs father there is an almost automatic right to British citizenship.

Then the child has citizenship and she can claim rights to a family life under human rights legislation.

Should make a rule when they’re younger, no children allowed till you’re 30! Honestly, absolute madness to have kids in your 20s, particularly early 20s these days. That’s a time to be free, have fun, travel and make a career, not being tied down with kids!

Plenty of couples have failed to achieve that, it's nowhere near that easy, a baby's citizenship doesn't give her rights or citizenship, she's an unmarried student who has only been in a relationship with the father a short time. Since brexit we've been deporting even elderly Europeans who've been here and paying tax for decades so the authorities aren't going to welcome her with open arms.

They can't deport the child, a beast feeding baby changes everything.

Breast feeding not beast feeding 🤣

Because she's on a student visa and the conditions are strict for overseas students. Therefore not random

No it doesn't. As I have a said this girl is on a student visa and will be expected to return home after her degree ends

This.

Families get separated all the time by immigration laws, mum will be breast feeding in Korea.

Not if the father prevents her from kidnapping his British son she won't.

How is he going to do that? And how do you know the child is going to be a boy