Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter has bought her 7 year old a phone

217 replies

Alisonjayne8 · 26/12/2025 21:19

It's a phone that's capable of social media with all the bells and whistles.

I am fuming about it but what can I do. I watched a documentary about Snapchat and tik tok and what gets shown to new users, it scares the life out of me.

OP posts:
SapphireSeptember · 27/12/2025 02:03

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 27/12/2025 00:17

Tablets can be just as bad too though don’t forget! Most will have the same capabilities as a phone. Messaging and SM.

I personally would not have give mine a phone that young. The evidence for harm is strong and my kids just wouldn’t have needed it. But we’ve had to lock down tablets in the same ways - so the risk is still there.

For some families with strict rules and checks I think it can work as they’re educated young about safety and by teens are prob over it. It’s the parents who aren’t aware and who don’t care, lock down, or check…..these kids are more at risk.

Show quote history

True! DS is obsessed with mine (17 months old) but he can't get into it because I've got a passcode. But he's also obsessed with my very basic phone! I think it's just the bright lights and noise. I'm not giving him a tablet either though, and when he gets hold of either I take them off him.

diyisnotmyforte · 27/12/2025 02:11

Who is voting YABU ?! Seriously, the child is 7. She has her whole life ahead of her for smart phone usage. Depressingly sad. I’m doing all I can to keep my DC away from smart phones for as long as humanely possible.

diyisnotmyforte · 27/12/2025 02:14

Iwantamarshmallowman · 27/12/2025 01:18

This is absolutly none of your business. Shame on you for encoraging a load of stangers who know fuck all about your daughters situation to judge her parenting.

But what “situation” would require a 7 yo to have a smart phone?? I think this sounds like a concerned grandparent (good to know one adult has the child’s best interests at heart).

Terrytheweasel · 27/12/2025 02:35

I was sat in a restaurant earlier - it was sad that so many families were just glued to their phones. Also a mother and son who didn’t even look at each other for the whole meal. Another couple dining, she even had headphones in and was watching a screen. My Children have never had a screen at the table, not ever, not on a plane, a car journey. They get.bored and then start to come up with ways to entertain themselves. My youngest 7 was making mud pies for hours the other day.
I do let them watch YouTube supervised and my eldest codes on the family computer. Both doing very well at school.
I’m sorry your daughter has done this - I can imagine how upset you must be. It’s like a piece of their childhood has been lost.

User565635 · 27/12/2025 03:33

7??? OMG. I would be devastated, lazy parenting at it's finest.

Nat6999 · 27/12/2025 04:11

My ds had my old iPhone at that age so he could ring me from his dad's when he wanted to. He didn't have any social media, just some game apps & WhatsApp so he could ring & message me without needing a contract or credit.

DahlsChickenz · 27/12/2025 04:35

YANBU OP, that's a damn shame. Your poor little granddaughter.

I don't think there really is anything you can do, except keep a close eye on your granddaughter for behavioural changes etc.

30FlirtyandDrivingmyselftoinsanity · 27/12/2025 04:39

Phase42 · 26/12/2025 22:23

I attended a talk by a psychologist who said that when parents ask him what age is okay for a child to get a phone he answers 'when you (the parent) are okay with your child seeing porn'.

Never heard this. But upon reading it, it’s exactly what I would say too.

Milliemoons · 27/12/2025 04:59

I was in children’s a and e a few weeks ago with 7mo and 3yo. We are screen free but totally respect that’s not for everyone. But every. Single. Toddler. Was glued to a phone. There was a train track, books, toys in the waiting room. But they were all glued to cocomelon. But I was listening to some of the mums chat (they both had 2yo s) and one was saying how she’d had to buy a brand new iPhone for her 2yo because he always wanted her phone and she needed it. So a 2yo had the latest iPhone to watch his cartoons on. They were saying “I don’t know how our parents did it” and I wanted to chime in but I know I’m a complete A-hole for being screen free so I don’t. I know some people have it hard and just need a break. I was that parent once too. But my 3yo became addicted so we took it all away and yes it’s hard but it’s much better than buying a 2yo a brand new iPhone.

Thankfully baby was fine but I left an and e with a massive headache because of the 5 lots of cartoon sounds screaming for my brain’s attention for the 6 hours we were there. It was awful.

so no, YANBU. As I said, I don’t judge parents who use screen time but I just want to tell them that it’s a trap and it’s 100% easier without!

Comtesse · 27/12/2025 05:09

Your daughter is an idiot but very little you can do. Very frustrating.

Needspaceforlego · 27/12/2025 05:31

Shakeyourwammyfannyfunkysong · 26/12/2025 23:44

How many paedophiles were able to groom a child through their walkman or gameboy? How many times did a child end their life because they were being bullied through their walkman/gameboy? Absolutely ridiculous comparison.

Show quote history

Well you know you can control what websites and things a child can access?

Google Family Link is actually a thing as is the Apple equivalent.

Needspaceforlego · 27/12/2025 05:45

Alisonjayne8 · 27/12/2025 00:50

You are so right, there's no reasoning with her.

She already has a tablet and plays Roblox on it, which in my opinion is also dangerous and unregulated. I cannot think of a single reason why she would need a phone at that age. I haven't asked what controls have been put in place because I can't actually talk to her about it without losing my composure.

She has said she (my daughter) has control over it and that's all I know for now, but I am still horrified.

Show quote history

Untwist your knickers and calm down.
Trust what she is telling you, she has control over it.

PSoup · 27/12/2025 06:01

Augarden · 26/12/2025 21:49

Ok but she doesn't need a smartphone to do that, non-smart phones are available.

Feels like people have no idea how dangerous this can be for little children, both in terms of them having access to things they shouldn't, and how deliberately addictive phones can be. Just be really careful if you want them to be able to read a book ever again.

Show quote history

I do not like giving kids phones etc. My children were given tablets by grandparents and I’m not keen.

But equally I do think there is some scaremongering around screen time. I played video games all throughout childhood with my older sibling. Some were definitely addictive and I would’ve played all day. I still enjoyed books and did well at school. Mosey children will always prefer to play outside with friends than bron a screen.

The most important thing is restrictions and checking the quality of the games they’re playing. No social media and internet browsing.

Greyrock2828 · 27/12/2025 08:05

As a previous poster said anyone who has researched into children using mobile phones wouldn't have given their child a phone. Look how addicted adults are to their phones. They are so addictive. Why on earth does anyone think a 7 year old needs to message their friends - why are parents not facilitating play dates? I don't think 7 year olds need ipads/tablets either. Gaming is addictive. Literally brain rot. Get your kids outside or doing activities. What happened to kids being kids - now they're exposed to far too much so young.
DS school goes from.primary to secondary and the phone ban is for the whole school and I wholeheartedly support it.

ToffeePennie · 27/12/2025 08:59

Honestly, I think your barmy. My sons have had phones since they were about 5. My little one found his dad’s old phone, charged it up and started using it.
We have their phones locked down, they can only get new apps when approved.
DS11s phone is coded directly to mine, so I can see every keystroke, DS8s phone is coded to my husbands - same story.
They use them to WhatsApp friends and family, play games like monopoly go and when they were younger, teach your monster to read and teach your monster math. DS8 uses his phone to send me little messages when he’s at sleepovers or if I’m back late from work.
we have taught them that tech is there to assist their daily lives, and that’s exactly how our kids use it. No need to be scared of tech, as long as you use it correctly.
I guess the difference is, my DH actually knows, understands, uses and works directly within the technological industry and understands exactly how to lock down a phone correctly, unlike most other people on the planet.

JoeTheDrummer · 27/12/2025 09:04

The trouble is, no matter how much you educate and lock down your child’s phone, you can’t control what other people send them. So you say to your child ‘yes you can add your school-mate Josh to your contacts so you can message him’, turns out Josh’s parents aren’t so on the ball, and he can then send your child messages/pictures which are inappropriate for their age. It’s the group-chats which are the worst, as they give a child a large audience and a chance to show-off.

Sartre · 27/12/2025 09:08

My 7 yo has one of our old iPhones. It doesn’t have a SIM and he has to ask for permission before downloading any new apps so we keep tabs on everything he does, certainly no SM. He just uses it to play games or watch YouTube, similar to an iPad but we gave him one of our old phones when we upgraded rather than buy a new device.

Family controls exist, I’d imagine your DD will be savvy enough to know this and will set him up as a child so he won’t be able to access whatever he wants anyway.

Efacsen · 27/12/2025 09:14

Greyrock2828 · 27/12/2025 08:05

As a previous poster said anyone who has researched into children using mobile phones wouldn't have given their child a phone. Look how addicted adults are to their phones. They are so addictive. Why on earth does anyone think a 7 year old needs to message their friends - why are parents not facilitating play dates? I don't think 7 year olds need ipads/tablets either. Gaming is addictive. Literally brain rot. Get your kids outside or doing activities. What happened to kids being kids - now they're exposed to far too much so young.
DS school goes from.primary to secondary and the phone ban is for the whole school and I wholeheartedly support it.

DS school goes from.primary to secondary and the phone ban is for the whole school and I wholeheartedly support it.

This seems to be the future so Op's daughter is very much going against the flow and current thinking

See also Australia

StillCreatingAName · 27/12/2025 09:22

we have taught them that tech is there to assist their daily lives, and that’s exactly how our kids use it. No need to be scared of tech, as long as you use it correctly.

My dc, like me and DH all use tech in our daily lives, like most of the planet, we’re not scared of it, but the impact it has on childhood is scary. Your DC have been gaming on phones, that’s not tech skills, it’s gaming skills, in the same way opening up a banking app and pressing buttons to pay for car parking isn’t tech skills. Children- particularly secondary age, are not using phones for tech skills and you’re kidding yourself if you think they are. I went deep on all of this for DC starting secondary school and I know there is a huge, serious problem with kids on phones and how they actually use them.

I also have no desire to be one of those families I see where everyone is on a device, not talking to each other, so I hope that the OP is still able to enjoy quality time with her GC now the phone has joined the family.

Luckyingame · 27/12/2025 09:31

Going on about horrible social media (they are,
I have never joined), but what can actually be done?
If the child wants access, sooner or later she'll get it, one way or the other.
Sure she's not the only one.

Needspaceforlego · 27/12/2025 09:44

Efacsen · 27/12/2025 09:14

DS school goes from.primary to secondary and the phone ban is for the whole school and I wholeheartedly support it.

This seems to be the future so Op's daughter is very much going against the flow and current thinking

See also Australia

Show quote history

Australia has banned social media, phones have a zillon other uses than social media.

Efacsen · 27/12/2025 09:47

Needspaceforlego · 27/12/2025 09:44

Australia has banned social media, phones have a zillon other uses than social media.

Show quote history

Yes of course -both good and bad uses

Sprogonthetyne · 27/12/2025 09:52

Is it actually capable of them? Or is it a type that could have them but his has parental controls.

I got my DS one at 8. Its a regular smart phone, not a special kids one or anything but I uninstalled everything and put parental controls so he can't install anything without my consent. He dose video calls with his dad or other family members throughout an app called 'just talk kids', so can only receve calls from a number I've approved, and that's it.

If you saw my 8yo with the phone you'd probably judge, but in reality, there's nothing to worry about and he's actually less exposed then kids with game stations or roblox.

Natsku · 27/12/2025 09:59

I bought my DD one at 7 because pretty much every kid in my country gets one then, when they start school. I regret it now and did not get my son one when he started school, he has a watch phone instead which can't do anything except call set numbers and take pictures, and he will be stuck with that for a long time. More and more parents in my country are doing the same now