Daughter has bought her 7 year old a phone

[Alisonjayne8]

It's a phone that's capable of social media with all the bells and whistles.

I am fuming about it but what can I do. I watched a documentary about Snapchat and tik tok and what gets shown to new users, it scares the life out of me.

Probably best to burn them considering they seem to be the source of all evil with a constant barrage of porn each minute.

How many paedophiles were able to groom a child through their walkman or gameboy? How many times did a child end their life because they were being bullied through their walkman/gameboy? Absolutely ridiculous comparison.

People who just give their 7yo a smartphone are 99% of the time fucking dumb.

I wonder if there are any stats on educational level of parents and giving children smartphones at a young age. Certainly from my experience, educated parents do not do this.

Why though? What on earth qualifies you to make such a sweeping judgment? What do you think parents who give their children's phones actually allow them to do on them?

I have a BA hons degree, am wll educated and not dumb by any stretch.

I am however able to suoervise my child. Ensure restrictions are in place and educate her in how to use it safely. We also have an open dialogue about its dangers, rhe dangers of online bullying and she is comfortable and confident enough to raise issues with me.

Perhaps you should educate yourself better.

We do not have enough information yet on smartphone exposure and cognitive development in young children. Even if we ignore the risks, the constant staring at the screen and fast moving images and apps could have long-term effects on focus and concentration. Responsible parents will wait for research and data before giving their kids phones.

Many young kids will want a phone, due to peer pressure etc. The decent and strong parents resist giving in and find other ways for their children to be entertained and educated. Yes, it takes much more effort, but they are doing the right thing by their children.

Sure.

I've got a first class undergrad degree in law and a masters (in IT law)

I'm not remotely stupid. My children have to spend part of the week with an abusive parent thanks to the stupidity of our family court system so giving them phones young (and locking them down appropriately ) was a key way I could help them. It's a life or death thing for me and I couldn't give a fig who judges me for it).

Mine use their phones far less than friends who got them later. They haven't ever spent much time on them. They have interesting and engaging hobbies and enjoy spending time with me

Why on earth would a 7 year old need a phone, I agree with you OP, insane but there’s not much you can do about it sadly

I have no issue with normal phones for contact with an absent parent. Or did you get a smartphone?

But by "constant staring at the screen" you are making the presumption children are using them for hours at a time. Does your concern also extend n to games consoles, tvs etc?? Data is only as effective as the research design and can be manipulated for whatever means parties want.... We've all heard about the nonsense regarding paracetamol and pregnancy haven't we?
My issue is that 99.9 percent of parents who allow their children to have mobile phones do so in a totally responsible and supervised way which negates any of the nonsense spouted on this thread!

Quite

Well we will agree to disagree. As I said, I feel really sorry for young children whose parents have just let them have smartphones to make their lives easier. For all the reasons others have said on here. But crack on and I hope your little kids enjoy their screens!

This whole thread is ridiculous hysteria.

Disapprove all you want but as your granddaughter isn’t your child, it’s none of your business. ‘Fuming’ that a parent made a different choice to the one you would have made is absurd.

Tablets can be just as bad too though don’t forget! Most will have the same capabilities as a phone. Messaging and SM.

I personally would not have give mine a phone that young. The evidence for harm is strong and my kids just wouldn’t have needed it. But we’ve had to lock down tablets in the same ways - so the risk is still there.

For some families with strict rules and checks I think it can work as they’re educated young about safety and by teens are prob over it. It’s the parents who aren’t aware and who don’t care, lock down, or check…..these kids are more at risk.

Think the OP is having a great time reading all these! Maybe just AI?

I’m in the 7 is too young camp. BUT the staring at screens thing is so hard when all their homework now is on screens! Apps and games as well as quizzes etc.

It’s becoming the norm. I asked my child to come off his Nintendo to take a break from screens. Asked him to make a start on homework. He said, I can’t it’s on google, you said no screens! 😂

mine didn’t get a phone until secondary and we have strict rules and checks and it’s locked down on the phone and WiFi as much as possible.

You continue to prove my point by your responses. It just keeps getting more awesome.

I’m an adult so my safety while using a phone isn’t being drawn into question but thanks for the clap back .

And you think that ignorance is not understanding you can supervise a child on a phone vs the dangers on a smartphone? This is wilful ignorance.

Read the room you are in the minority.

My 8 year old has a phone but its an old one of ours only used for a few games. No social media at all.
I think a phone can be many things now. His is basically a gameboy that he rarely uses anyway.
I would not let him on the internet or social media though and he doesnt contact anyone or message on it. Literally plays a couple of puzzle games and also has bbc i player on it to watch stuff and thats it.
So its not the phone its what they do on it that you want to be concerned about.

The anxious generation by jonathan haidt is a good read. There are so many ways we are screwing up our children and screens are just one of them. Its certainly become very normal now, I have a toddler and quite a few of his friend group received a tablet for Christmas.

You can see that the ‘I gave my child a phone at 7 and there’s been no problems because I’m so brilliant at being a parent’ brigade will be the people who vote YABU.
Of course we all know how all the experts say that it’s fine to give small, very young children phones. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
Frankly in the same way I judge the parent of a toddler, barefoot in the winter, in a buggy eating a sausage roll and drinking coke out of a bottle, I also judge the parents who give kids who are barely out of nursery smartphones.
To pretend people don’t judge is ridiculous- we all do.
It’s not what your kids might have access to, it’s what other kids have access to that they can send to your child.
There’s also the fact that lots of kids are really sharp when it comes to tech and can easily override parental controls/hide apps from parents.

No good ever comes from giving a 7 year old a device they can be groomed/bullied on or watch violence and porn.
@Alisonjayne8 find some experts opinions of young children with phones & send the links to your daughter. Tell her that safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility & you are very worried.

You are so right, there's no reasoning with her.

She already has a tablet and plays Roblox on it, which in my opinion is also dangerous and unregulated. I cannot think of a single reason why she would need a phone at that age. I haven't asked what controls have been put in place because I can't actually talk to her about it without losing my composure.

She has said she (my daughter) has control over it and that's all I know for now, but I am still horrified.

There is no smartphone that allows you to do all of what you say- permission to turn apps on and off, yes, but not needing your consent every time they use it. You do know that if they’re at a friends house using their wifi they can create a new account for their phone, which doesn’t require ‘your consent’ including WhatsApp hidden chats, there’s so much they can do to undo parent controls and if you think otherwise you’re in for a surprise. You might trust your dc, but can you trust all their friends with a smartphone?

This is absolutly none of your business. Shame on you for encoraging a load of stangers who know fuck all about your daughters situation to judge her parenting.