To wonder why I put myself through the awfulness of having a toddler again?

[whydidiputmyselfthroughit]

Seriously, I really do question it. I hated it with ds and didn’t start to enjoy parenting him until he was four. And I’m back in that place again but this time with another child’s needs to try to balance.

If you adore toddlers and think that when you’re ninety you’ll look back and want another day with them this is NOT the thread for you. Nor is it a thread for those struggling with teens; you have your own board.

I really do not know what the hell I was thinking.

It's a means to an end isn't it. I didn't like it much either! People have warned me about the teen years but they're great - yes they're moody but they're also proper people, and quite independent, and interesting. Every mum has a favourite stage. At least you know what age you'll start to enjoy it again! Put a count down timer on your phone, that's what I did

This year has changed my mind on wanting another. I hate parenting my toddler. I love him but my God am I sick and tired.

Oh I like this idea. Did you use a particular app? I’m counting down for three in the first instance.

I love him but my God I am sick and tired

Jesus yes

Toddlers are individual, there's no one fit all solution.

Why do you hate it? Of course the centre of your life becomes the toddler, and for easy life, you plan everything around them.

Your toddler is a tiny human with a massive personality and you're his entire world, imagine standing up to a grown adult like they do. Everything is new, the entire world is a new concept for them, It's pretty cute if you think about it.

I had one toddler who was a delight and used to think people who moaned about toddlers were miserable gits.

Then I had another toddler and fuck me I learned my lesson. Absolutely never doing that again.

Commiserations @whydidiputmyselfthroughit . All I can offer is that it doesn't last forever and at least they're cute. Imagine if they were scaly ugly lizard creatures? We'd just leave them lay by or something 😂

Mine were fairly easy kids but when we had a brief moment of thinking about a third I said that it wouldn’t be happening unless I went back to work. No way would I be staying at home with a toddler. Not my favourite part of parenting. Fortunately we decided against it.

This one lulled me into a false sense of security by being lovely until it turned two, then slowly but surely became unbearable! Your post did make me laugh though 🤣

I agree with you. I was never really a fan of the baby or toddler stage,with my DD and my DGD (now 19). I found the years from about 5 years upwards much easier and more enjoyable. I enjoyed the teenage years even more,but I suppose I was lucky in that neither of them were troublesome teens!

One of the main reasons I am child free is because I couldn’t deal with toddlers. I love babies up to about 18 months old and then I don’t mind kids 8+ but young children drive me mad.

Kid dependant. My eldest was an absolutely relentless toddler, ran full tilt at danger, scaled everything, walked at 9 months old. My youngest I was prepared for the same again and got a wee girl who anted to sit and colour while holding my hand, wanted to go to toddler bookbug and the library. She would play independently with her dollhouse and happily litter at the park or go a long walk in the pram. You may have particularly relentless toddlers. My eldest age 4-5 was the worst time as he was emotionally very heightened. t 7 he's such a wonderful chap, still very high energy but very kind and interesting and loving.

You get what you get and you get through the rough bits is what I'm saying, it does get better and if I could be delivered a well adjusted 2 yr old I'd have a third but mine both didn't sleep at all as babies and I couldn't do the first 2 years agaib. Give me relentless tantrums over sleepless newborns.

The nostalgia has kicked in HARD for me this year though I suspect as hormones shift towards menopause

We are thinking of having another, can you remind me of why we shouldn't - what exactly is going on with said toddler? My others are mid primary school age so I have completely forgotten..

DS was a lovely toddler. There's another thread today about a six year old. DS was a horrible 6 year old.

I don't think you escape it. You just get different problems at a different age.

Maybe you are getting it all over and done with now.

the one thing I can think about is your life becomes toddler- centred. It's relentless, and you have no me-time. I think that's what a lot of people struggle, they can't just sit down and watch tv or scroll their phone for hours, they can't have their nails done, it's just non-stop.

But if you are out all day or most of the day, give them something to do - like the bottom cupboard full of tupperwear so they can empty that when you make diner for example and let them be for the little time you are in the house, it's really not bad.

They also learn to say no, so that's quite amusing 😂

It's tiring , and some people can't accept that it's not the time of your life to have long leisurely meals with friends and families etc.

It's tiring , and some people can't accept that it's not the time of your life to have long leisurely meals with friends and families etc

Not this for me. It’s the screaming and the whining and the tantrums. It’s from one to another to another from wake until bed.

Mine also doesn’t eat (I know a lot of people say their toddlers won’t eat but mine actually doesn’t eat!) which probably doesn’t help behaviour but you can’t force them to eat.

Basically she’s probably happy and content for an hour a day in minute intervals.

Of course I try to make her happy but I can’t.

And yes my life is toddler centric, it isn’t about my nails or anything though, it’s small things and then you realise you haven’t actually done anything for you, I haven’t watched any TV that isn’t kids this festive period. Like I say small thing but hard.

Terrible 2's"
Turbulent 3's
Fuck it 4's
Firey 5's
Stubborn 6's
Sweet 7's (phew)

Before being parent I was just expecting the terrible twos! Different ages, different stages! 🫣

I'm away with my 18 month old right now and he's driving me absolutely demented, whinge whinge whinge and relentlessly following me about. Not content with anything.

Possibly the 18 month regression? My second dc had this bad. @Plubbler

@whydidiputmyselfthroughit as a mummy of way older kids , teens and 3 of them, I hear you !! I found the toddler stage v v v hard work . Newborns were a walk in the park in comparison. And I didn’t have easy newborns at all but they stayed in the one place , napped a bit and didn’t need constant interaction or control . What age are you? I’m very late 30’s with teens and prob hormones are kicking off . Most of my friends have small babies and are all “can’t wait, it must be so much easier from 4…. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I was rather smug about mine as it wasn't so much the terrible twos but the tricky twos. It had it's moments but wasn't too bad.

Then we hit 3 and dear jesus...

It was too late. I was already pregnant with the next, no turning back.

Luckily after about 6months we turned a bit of a corner but the boy was so close to going out the window. (I adore him but god).

I am relishing the baby stage this time round. I remember finding it so hard first time round but I'm really enjoying it now knowing what doom awaits this weary traveller.

I have preferred each age to the last so far. My 6yo is much more fun than she was stropping as a 2 yo 😁

then you realise you haven’t actually done anything for you, I haven’t watched any TV that isn’t kids this festive period. Like I say small thing but hard.

that's being a parent?

You can't do things "for you" but you can do things together. It might mean having a hairdresser coming to your house instead of visiting a salon, it might mean putting them in a buggy and jog with them, or going to a "toddler friendly" sport club (there are many) or get your workout from a soft play 😂
Can't go to a restaurant? Many places do offer take-away, you can still enjoy the same diner with friends, but at home.

but it's very possible to be alone with a child with no support, and still get a lot of stuff done.

@ThisCalmMauveWriter yes it is, which is why I’ve done it and why every waking (and interrupted sleep) moment is dedicated to them and it’s still never enough and it does get you down. If that isn’t something you want to hear me say this thread might not be for you.

@SoUncertain my older one is lovely … mostly, so hard meeting both their needs. It’s easier with just one.

If that isn’t something you want to hear me say

It has no effect whatsoever on me or my life what you say. But I have seen many women complaining about toddler years because they expected to live their normal life, and somehow slotting a quiet toddler in it.

I just found that when you ignore people's advice, "kids do as they're told", and you plan your life around the toddler, everyday, your holidays etc.., then you have a much more pleasant time.

Also that days are never a single event and a single emotion. You can have a lovely time at a Christmas place like Lapland, but sitll have a tantrum about putting the shoes you tell them to put before you go, a moan because they wanted to try mulled wine in the place (and reasonably you said hell no), and you hoping they would sleep early because they had a busy day, means you resent them for being up instead of just going with the flow.

And when toddler is in a "refusing to eat anything", just buy ready-meals. If they're not going to eat them anyway, no point wasting your time cooking. And keep trying picky bits plates etc... so they finally bloody eat SOMETHING!

No one is expecting to live a normal life, I’d just like to go about my life with a toddler without screaming. I have had nearly three days of it now and I am about at breaking point and you are adding to that rather than helping.

I absolutely adore her, just as I did her brother. But I am not good with constant screaming, whinging, whining and crying.

My second pulled me into a false sense of security as he was delight until he was 3. Then omg