To wonder why I put myself through the awfulness of having a toddler again?

[whydidiputmyselfthroughit]

Seriously, I really do question it. I hated it with ds and didn’t start to enjoy parenting him until he was four. And I’m back in that place again but this time with another child’s needs to try to balance.

If you adore toddlers and think that when you’re ninety you’ll look back and want another day with them this is NOT the thread for you. Nor is it a thread for those struggling with teens; you have your own board.

I really do not know what the hell I was thinking.

Hang in there OP, mine were both lovely easy babies but awful,awful, toddlers but have been an absolute delight as teens. Youngest is now 18 and they’re fantastic company.
I’d happily never speak to a child under 7 ever agin though! 😂

Thanks @user46256728992 . I needed to read that! Tomorrow is another day and all that.

Since birth DD has hit every milestone such as fussy newborn, teething issues, sleep regressions, terrible twos etc. On this forum it seems some had kids that skipped some parts all together. Not on my watch. We have without fail, hit every one of them and stayed there for what seems an age. DD is 3 now. I love her so much but this is one frazzled mum.

People do forget. I’ve definitely forgotten some of the awfulness from ds1. I don’t remember him being as whingey but perhaps he was.

What comes after 7? Just wondering 😬

My 15 month old is driving me to the brink of insanity, he whines from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed. He’s angry at the world and don’t we know it! He looks like an angel and gives lovely cuddles when he’s not trying to break my glasses or pull his brothers hair out, otherwise he’d be in the bin!

DS7 was never this difficult or if he was, I’ve forgotten it and I am also struggling with doing it again, I’ve been in tears several times in the last week

I am not a fan of the toddler years. It’s the illness I hate more than anything. Mine were both so sick during nursery years and it’s so miserable and disruptive and exhausting. Youngest is now 5 and in reception. Still hard work, but it’s getting easier year by year.

Because you wanted another child, and that means at some point having a toddler? Which is a fairly short period in the scheme of things?

I used to wear ear plugs. It muffled the screaming and just helped me to cope. Ooh and DH used to take then out every Saturday morning and give me a break. Honestly I used to ignore a lot of the screaming and was very strict. It paid off later but was boring and often tedious when in the thick of it

Two years between mine. It wasn’t planned that way, DC2 was a happy accident. It was bloody hard. Potty training DC1 when DC2 was a newborn was horrific. Christmas trying to do ‘fun’ family things like decorating the Christmas tree were awful - one memorable Christmas I ended up in tears over the arguments about who would put the star on top of the tree. We tried a holiday to Turkey once at about 3 & 5, they fought so much over the bloody IPad on the flight the lady in front lent us hers so we’d have 2 - I was so ashamed. We once walked out of Pizza Express before we’d ordered anything because their behaviour was so shameful.

They are 16 & 14 now and whilst they still bicker, they’re good kids and very close. I hope it stays that way when DH & I are gone. DS helps his younger sister with her homework and close enough in year groups to be able to advise on GCSE choices. They share clothes and both enjoyed teaching me ‘6 7’ and subsequently taking the massive piss out of me once I actually got it. They share jokes & look out for each other. It’s OK once you’re out the other side, not that it helps you now when it’s relentless.

My eldest is nearly 4 and has always been lovely - he is naturally thoughtful, calm, eager to please. Never really had any troublesome toddler years. My second (19 months) has now shown me why people struggle with toddlers! Feel like everytime I look at him he's got something he shouldn't have or doing something he shouldn't be doing. He also gets cross about things a lot. And it's really hard to manage while trying to do nice things with my eldest - as soon as I sit down to do an activity with him, I have about 30 seconds before I need to jump up and scoop my toddler away from something.

I do find the 1 year old stage hard to enjoy, the relentlessness, lack of communication and no attention span. Especially now when compared to my eldest who has a proper personality, wants to do actual fun activities and can have proper sweet funny conversations with me. I think having a young toddler is just a difficult phase to get through! They turn into proper people eventually

Toddlers are hard hard hard fucking work. My boys are 18 months apart - if we'd waited till no 1 was a toddler i wouldn't have had a second. Primary school gets better and then secondary school is ace - they are real actual humans. Of course I loved them at every age but I enjoy and fet on with them more the older they get. Grit your teeth OP, it's shit but you will get through.

This post has resonated with me today, my youngest is 2.5 and just argjggrhagahhghhhhhh 😖 constant temper tantrums, running away, hitting, breaking things, attacking the Christmas tree. Unfortunately due to having an older child too I know that 3 is even worse 🫠

You called your child it? And unbearable. I feel sorry for them

This. Fucking never ever again

Because once you get through it you'll have a lovely person in your life! You can't have teenagers or grown up children who will hopefully be with you for decades without enduring the first ten years. I have teenagers now and it feels like the horrible years were not that long after all... (they were).

Three us haaaard but … you can kind of reason a bit with a three year old.

i am a tiny bit worried as she hasn’t been this bad before … moments most definitely but feels like the last few days have been incessant whingeing. She is perfectly able to say (for instance) I want dolly but just points and makes ‘errrrr err errr’ noises. Then if I mistakenly pass her a different toy she starts waving her arms and screaming hysterically like she’s just been told her entire family have been wiped out in a natural disaster.

She’s also started pulling me around which I hate … again she’s more than capable of telling me where she wants me to go.

It is a worry as it’s as if she’s regressed a bit.

What happens after? Asking for a friend 🤣

Can’t offer advice - I’d say the first year was the worst year in my life. It did get better in a way after that but wasn’t until late 4’s- early 5’s that I started having more good than bad feelings toward parenthood. Every time I think about having another kid, I remember crying in my car pretty much daily and so far have stayed strong in the one and done lane.

Loop Earplugs? Absolutely saved my parenting. And sanity.

Sounds extremely normal. Just awfully frustrating.

I was looking at these the other day but I don’t know if they are just gimmicky.

I don’t tend to like things in my ears as a rule. How do they help with the whingeing?

Yes, I don’t really relate to the complaints about four year olds. Things massively improved around then. This summer my ds was four and a half and I was actually happy spending time with him.

Yes, don't wear them all the time just when you're overwhelmed. They take a bit of getting used too, use a small size head top bit.
You can still hear and respond to the world but it hugely takes the edge off.

Oh and just get cheap ones. Actual loops are a rip off.