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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm done..

365 replies

Cheeseyminky · 26/12/2025 12:46

We have been together for just over 2 years and don't live together. I'm done after yesterday. It was the final straw.

I don't know whether I am becoming more aware of his behaviour or whether it's his behaviour that is changing. He seems to be more and more focused on himself, his needs and always wants to be the centre of attention.

For example I had a carol concert in a village church. I asked if he wanted to go and he confirmed that he was really looking forward to it. Fast forward to 30 mins before the concert he told me that he wouldn't be coming because he was tired and not up to spending time with people. He was due to accompany my kids to the concert this left me frantically trying to make arrangements for the kids to go elsewhere or for somebody to bring them. I honestly think he was hoping that I'd have to cancel. Instead I sat the kids in the front pew and asked one of the ladies from the church to keep an eye on them.

I messaged to tell him how disappointed and how let down I felt. He ignored my message and then ignored me for over 24 hours. When he eventually resurfaced he didn't apologise for letting me down.

This year he suggested that I buy my own christmas presents as he has no idea what to buy . So I did and he gave me the money. He wrapped them but whilst I was opening my non surprise presents he complained about how much time it took him and how it was such a ball-ache.

He seemed to be mildly frustrated that the day wasn't centred on him. He kept trying to divert the focus in to him. We had a mince pie each and he said it was too sweet and made him feel sick. Despite him eating 4 identical mince pies the week before in one sitting. He made a big thing about it yesterday almost trying to make out that I was trying to make him ill. Nobody forced the mince pie down his throat.

Things hit boiling point when I was getting ready to serve dinner and asked for some help. The kids were laying the table and he was sat watching TV. He came in looking pissed off and said what do you want me to do. I asked him to make some space by washing up some dishes. He said that he'd already washed up once and why were there so many dishes. He got irritated that there were some unwashed dishes in the sink.

He then threw something in the sink causing a loud clatter said fuck this shit. I'm going. Purely because I'd asked for help in the kitchen. Everybody else was helping and he was just sat watching TV.

He picked up his keys and stormed out shouting enjoy your f*cking
Christmas. That was the last I've heard from him, im obviously on the naughty list again and I'm being ignored.The kids and I did enjoy our christmas dinner without his tantrums.

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama. He assured me it would be ok but I was kind of thinking that he couldn't get through the day without causing any.

The kids and I are having a lovely boxing day eating chocolates and mince pies. Building lego and playing with toys without waiting for a human grenade to explode.

Happy boxing day everyone

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 27/12/2025 18:18

extrasushiplease · 27/12/2025 18:17

"Men" like this deserve only to be alone.

Edited

At least read the OP's posts.

BellaTrixLeStrange1 · 27/12/2025 18:20

Bin him! He sounds like an arsehole.

Redragtoabull · 27/12/2025 18:32

Call him out for the obvious cunt he is, then block and enjoy being single. Fucking narky behaviour and in front of your children, and on Christmas Day and on your turf! Nah

Marieb19 · 27/12/2025 18:48

You are well rid. Have a Happy 2026 and don't be tempted to take the bad tempered man child back.

disturbia · 27/12/2025 19:17

Sorry to read about this bad behaviour on Christmas Day OP. You are worth more than this..you haven't done anything wrong and your kids deserve better..he doesn't love you so in the famous words of mumsnet LTB

tommyhoundmum · 27/12/2025 19:48

Cheeseyminky · 26/12/2025 12:46

We have been together for just over 2 years and don't live together. I'm done after yesterday. It was the final straw.

I don't know whether I am becoming more aware of his behaviour or whether it's his behaviour that is changing. He seems to be more and more focused on himself, his needs and always wants to be the centre of attention.

For example I had a carol concert in a village church. I asked if he wanted to go and he confirmed that he was really looking forward to it. Fast forward to 30 mins before the concert he told me that he wouldn't be coming because he was tired and not up to spending time with people. He was due to accompany my kids to the concert this left me frantically trying to make arrangements for the kids to go elsewhere or for somebody to bring them. I honestly think he was hoping that I'd have to cancel. Instead I sat the kids in the front pew and asked one of the ladies from the church to keep an eye on them.

I messaged to tell him how disappointed and how let down I felt. He ignored my message and then ignored me for over 24 hours. When he eventually resurfaced he didn't apologise for letting me down.

This year he suggested that I buy my own christmas presents as he has no idea what to buy . So I did and he gave me the money. He wrapped them but whilst I was opening my non surprise presents he complained about how much time it took him and how it was such a ball-ache.

He seemed to be mildly frustrated that the day wasn't centred on him. He kept trying to divert the focus in to him. We had a mince pie each and he said it was too sweet and made him feel sick. Despite him eating 4 identical mince pies the week before in one sitting. He made a big thing about it yesterday almost trying to make out that I was trying to make him ill. Nobody forced the mince pie down his throat.

Things hit boiling point when I was getting ready to serve dinner and asked for some help. The kids were laying the table and he was sat watching TV. He came in looking pissed off and said what do you want me to do. I asked him to make some space by washing up some dishes. He said that he'd already washed up once and why were there so many dishes. He got irritated that there were some unwashed dishes in the sink.

He then threw something in the sink causing a loud clatter said fuck this shit. I'm going. Purely because I'd asked for help in the kitchen. Everybody else was helping and he was just sat watching TV.

He picked up his keys and stormed out shouting enjoy your f*cking
Christmas. That was the last I've heard from him, im obviously on the naughty list again and I'm being ignored.The kids and I did enjoy our christmas dinner without his tantrums.

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama. He assured me it would be ok but I was kind of thinking that he couldn't get through the day without causing any.

The kids and I are having a lovely boxing day eating chocolates and mince pies. Building lego and playing with toys without waiting for a human grenade to explode.

Happy boxing day everyone

Pease change your locks and tell him your NY resolution is never to see him again

unsync · 27/12/2025 19:48

It sounds as if he couldn't keep the nice guy act going long enough to get you fully sucked in. You've had a narrow escape. Well done for not pandering to him.

Cheeseyminky · 27/12/2025 20:08

tommyhoundmum · 27/12/2025 19:48

Pease change your locks and tell him your NY resolution is never to see him again

The locks have been changed and I never want to see him again

OP posts:
tommyhoundmum · 27/12/2025 20:12

Cheeseyminky · 27/12/2025 20:08

The locks have been changed and I never want to see him again

Hurray!

Dogladycrazy · 27/12/2025 20:18

Jesus Christ like you even have to ask

PotatoLove · 27/12/2025 20:28

Bin him off OP. Yelling and swearing in front of your kids is a big no no. He sounds like an utter twat.

Cheeseyminky · 27/12/2025 20:30

PotatoLove · 27/12/2025 20:28

Bin him off OP. Yelling and swearing in front of your kids is a big no no. He sounds like an utter twat.

He's blocked, I've changed the locks and I never want to hear from him again

OP posts:
icantwaitforsummer · 27/12/2025 20:35

For him to be that dramatic storming out sweating makesme think he may have a scary/aggressive side.

Do you think he will try to get in the house or to you and cause a scene?

Cheeseyminky · 27/12/2025 20:45

icantwaitforsummer · 27/12/2025 20:35

For him to be that dramatic storming out sweating makesme think he may have a scary/aggressive side.

Do you think he will try to get in the house or to you and cause a scene?

Thank you for your concern. I've changed the locks. I also have my ring camera/doorbell. I think it's unlikely that I will hear from him as he tends to withdraw and ignore. But I've got to be prepared for every eventuality.

OP posts:
Blablibladirladada · 27/12/2025 20:55

I am very sorry to have, it seems, annoy you so much that you would storm out like that. I feel that I don’t understand you the way you deserve and so wish you best of luck to find someone more suitable.

then block that horrible piece of work and yes. Be done with it.

He is showing you who he is. Listen.

Jinglejells · 27/12/2025 20:59

Well done on blocking him and getting rid. How old are your kids? Maybe hold off on any relationship till they leave home. Not fair on them to go through this for someone who is no one to them.
what a loser.

HappyNannie · 27/12/2025 20:59

Get rid now, not only is he’s spoiling your day he’s spoiling your children’s Christmas memories.

Cheeseyminky · 27/12/2025 21:04

Blablibladirladada · 27/12/2025 20:55

I am very sorry to have, it seems, annoy you so much that you would storm out like that. I feel that I don’t understand you the way you deserve and so wish you best of luck to find someone more suitable.

then block that horrible piece of work and yes. Be done with it.

He is showing you who he is. Listen.

I'm not even going to waste my efforts on messaging him. What he did was inexcusable so he is blocked and I never want to hear from him again x

OP posts:
Cheeseyminky · 27/12/2025 21:07

HappyNannie · 27/12/2025 20:59

Get rid now, not only is he’s spoiling your day he’s spoiling your children’s Christmas memories.

He is in the bin, blocked and I will be making no further contact with him.

OP posts:
LubyLooTwo · 27/12/2025 21:07

You've answered yoh own question when you said you and the kids were having a great Christmas without him. Ditch this egotistical shithead now and don't even bother to contact him agsin. If he has jets get them back of him and tell him it's over.

Blablibladirladada · 27/12/2025 21:15

Cheeseyminky · 27/12/2025 21:04

I'm not even going to waste my efforts on messaging him. What he did was inexcusable so he is blocked and I never want to hear from him again x

🎶🎶🎶 music to my hears.

Take care. 👌👏🏼

Cheeseyminky · 27/12/2025 21:16

Blablibladirladada · 27/12/2025 21:15

🎶🎶🎶 music to my hears.

Take care. 👌👏🏼

Thank you. You take care too 🤗

OP posts:
Blizzardofleaves · 27/12/2025 21:17

What a knob

Moonboots123 · 27/12/2025 21:28

Ministerofmumbles · 26/12/2025 12:57

Seriously OP, how have you allowed this man that you’ve only been in a relationship with for 2 years around your kids?

Oh give it a rest, it’s hardly two weeks or two months is it

Cheeseyminky · 27/12/2025 21:44

Moonboots123 · 27/12/2025 21:28

Oh give it a rest, it’s hardly two weeks or two months is it

I waited over a year before introducing him to my kids. That felt like a sensible, cautious amount of time.

He wasn’t showing any of these behaviours back then, they’ve developed much more recently.

Obviously hindsight is great, I felt like I waited a sufficient amount of time to introduce him to the kids. As previously mentioned his behaviour started to change only recently.

I know of couples who have met, got married and had a child in the amount of time we were together.

I feel like i was cautious but some people are capable of keeping up a pretence of who they truly are and you never know that it's happening till that mask starts to slip...

OP posts: