To stop sending my daughter money when she’s not attending lectures?

[Pomegranatecarnage]

My daughter is in her second year of a science-based degree. She’s always been a high achiever, and easily got into the course with two A starred and two A at A level. However, she says she’s finding the course hard, and thought about dropping out after the first year. I told her to drop out before starting second year if she was going to, but she decided to carry on. She gets a good student finance package as we are Welsh. I have been sending her money, and she also gets PIP of around £500 a month. She told us last night casually that she hasn’t been to any lectures at all so would find her January exams difficult. When I asked why, she said it was because of the bus fare of £5 a day. She lives 3 miles away from campus. However, she just spent over £1000 on a skiing trip. It caused a huge argument on Christmas Day, and I said I wouldn’t send her money any longer as it wasn’t being used to help with her studies, but to go on holiday (she has another holiday booked for February). I feel very disappointed in her and upset that she’d bring this up on Christmas Day (at least it was after 9pm). What’s the point in going to university if you don’t attend lectures? AIBU to feel upset and worried?

Lots of people who get PIP go on holiday. My friend gets PIP and is always away as she’s making the most of being able to travel before her stage 4 breast cancer eventually kills her.

Exactly. I have a friend with MND and she just went from France to the US on holiday. She’s in a wheelchair now, but making the most of it before she’s bedbound and can’t even swallow or talk. PIP partially covers the extra luggage costs as one large checked bag contains just her medication and the electric wheekchair isn’t free to take everywhere- her husband has to rent a large SUV everywhere they go.

Some posters are clueless scrooges when it comes to PIP. They have no idea what it is for or how hard it is to get.

I quoted the OP who said she used to have them🤷‍♀️ Anyway I know many people with what can qualify as eating disorders. Will tell them that they are considered disabled and eligible for PIP to fund their holidays.

So is pandering to a lazy little madam apparently 🙄

Now you are being deliberately obtuse.

PIP doesn't work like that. They're eligible to apply. Whether they're entitled is a different matter

But you have to admit it does rather raise questions about her inability to travel a mile on a bus.

Lectures are usually recorded. Is she doing the work? This is more important.

Theres a whole world between that and a ski holiday

Presumably you believe that no one should be awarded PIP for mental health reasons then. I don’t disagree, but I have asked for this thread to be removed as it’s turned into a PIP -bashing one which derails from my question.

OMG you are so right, holidays with snow and people skiing are next level. 🙄
No one disabled has ever taken a winter holiday ever. Forget the fact they used to send people dying from TB on ski holidays.

We’re talking about someone who can’t travel a mile on a bus to attend classes but is happy to travel hundreds of miles for fun.

Quite. In a country where there are very limited resources to go round, services are cut to the bone and people are being taxed to the eyeballs

Yes we are. And many disabled people can’t take a bus alone, but can travel to China with a carer (who is often a parent or partner)

You really have zero knowledge about disability and travel.

The 2026 increase to UC for the perfectly abled unemployed is more than the total PIP here. This is like pinching pennies while flinging £5 notes out the window.

Perhaps I shouldn’t be on high rate mobility then dear 😉

Now who knows nothing about disability and travel?

But this girl isn't travelling with a carer. And she's planning to ski.

I’m also on PIP. You’re probably one of those who don’t believe in invisible disabilities.

No, I wouldn’t be funding this. She either needs to be doing things properly or leave.

And, I am on DLA, so I do get disabilities.

Her boyfriend is her carer. The holiday wasn’t alone.

@Papersnowflakes

Why don’t you apply for PIP? Then if you get it you won’t be as bitter.

The op doesn't say that anywhere

The 2026 increase to UC for the perfectly abled unemployed is more than the total PIP here.

Standard allowance is increasing by £25 for a single person - a month.

Along with LCWRA being cut in half.

LCWRA is only being cut in half for new claims. Those of us already claiming aren't affected

From the op’s original post, it seems she doesn’t want to spend out the £5 per day on bus travel, so it’s not the actual bus travel experience that is holding her back, but the cost. She’s resents the fact that she has to pay a fiver per day to go to uni. (When that money could be put towards fun stuff like a ski holiday…)

A bus pass is definitely the way forward.