Am I being unreasonable to interfere with brides choice?

[Allequal]

I was shopping in an asian bridal outlet this week and saw a large group of white british ladies trying on Indian bridal outfits. I assumed they were all getting married but I got talking to one of them who explained to me that she is getting married to an Indian chap and that the other ladies were her family and bridesmaids. To which I responded "oh so they are all trying on the dresses to help you decide?" And she said "no they are picking outfits for themselves.

I was absolutely horrified and explained to her that in this shop the type of clothing is just for the bride, and that if her whole family are wearing bridal outfits the grooms family will be confused as to who the bride is, and it will detract from the day because there would be a lot of scandal and gossip during and after the event.
The bride was angry and basically told me off for interfering, said she was happy for her family to look beautiful on the day but I tried to explain to her that it isnt about beauty, it would be like seeing an Indian bride in an English shop and her whole family and bridesmaids are all planning on buying a white wedding gown to turn up to the church together. You know it would look ridiculous and would become a family joke eventually
But she basically said I was rude and the shopkeeper asked me to leave (naturally wanting to make a lot of sales).

Was i unreasonable for interfering? I just didn't want her big day to be spoiled.

YADNBU. I don’t think many of the posters on here understand how big a deal this is. If they saw a group of Asian women in a bridal shop trying on big white wedding dresses to wear as guests to a wedding, I would very much hope they’d step in, and what you did is the equivalent.

I think there is a difference whether you are in the country or not.
Although I think the OP went too far I also hope that the bride consulted with the grooms family.

You tried to help, there's nothing more that can be done.

If her wedding is spoiled by this, she will look back and wish she'd listened to you!

I think you absolutely did the right thing and it’s ultimately her choice to embarrass herself like this. I would have thought she’d have had some guidance from her fiancé’s family in truth, that perhaps her MIL or SIL to be if she has one could have helped. Anyway, you tried your best.

You were not unreasonable at all

It's not really a matter of opinion is it? Saying bridesmaids and guests don't wear wedding dresses to weddings is not 'opinion' it is fact. It is also not 'opinion' that weddings are significant events in Indian culture and that bride and her friends will make right tits of themselves in front of her new extended family. In fact I find it odd she didn't take any of her fiances sisters, mum, aunts etc with her to look at dresses as they would have been able to help

Please sit me next to the bitchiest aunties at that wedding, because they will be on fire 😶

I think you were really nice to try and help her. If she's marrying an Indian man surely it would be respectful to his culture to take heed to what you've said. I would be happy for you to tell me if I was in her position. Thank you for being helpful ❤️❤️

NBU to tell her, but if she wasn't open to listening to your advice, best to just walk away.

OP, I think you were 100% in the right and the shopkeeper sounds like a bit of an arse, too. You tried, they were wilfully ignorant - I suppose it's now their circus. I'd try and let it pass now, and I'm sorry they were ungracious to you.

I cant imagine they would have gone ahead, asian bridal dresses are not cheap as ive recently learnt, especially ones full of detail. Many women go abroad to get a good deal for a nice dress and it still works out cheaper. If they are the less expensive ones then there wouldn't much detail on them and would be dresses that other guest could get away with wearing. But buying a bridal outfit for everyone would have cost in the £1000s

You were not being reasonable and I would have appreciated your help. However, I suspect the family had no intention of buying all the wedding outfits but just wanted a dressing up day. I doubt the greedy shopkeeper will have profited.

Really! How many weddings have you been to, where half the women were wearing long white dresses with trains? The OP didn't think all of the women were brides.

I would have been very grateful to have had your insight, the shop keeper was primarily at fault for not giving sound advice, however nothing new there where a shop wants to make money. Also family should have been less proud and accepted advice, when they realise at great expense they will feel very silly, and sadly sometimes this is the only way people learn.

You did a good thing trying to help.

Nope you were 2000000000% right to do this.

I think you did the right thing OP.

if I had been that bride to be I would be grateful for any helpful guidance especially if it could end up in gossip and confusion on the day.

I e been to two weddings where the women all wore white per the request of the bride. The men wore dark suits. These weddings were far from celebrity events. It's definitely a thing.

Are you serious?

The guests wouldn't have received invitations that stated clearly who the bride and groom would be?

The guests would automatically assume that all the women in the wedding dresses were there to get married too?

I think not.

Unless the invites came with a photo of the bride I can easily see how a more distant relative such as an Aunty or cousin wouldn’t know who the bride was

Did they call the police or the palace to check who the bride was because it is a state secret unless they in a mn prescribed dress, no other way of finding out it seems, it would cause a lifetime of confusion

Sounds like you were trying to protect the women being preyed upon by an unscrupulous shopkeeper, good for you! Strange she was so oblivious to cultural nuance and wilfully ignorant to someone advising her that’s she’s being fleeced. I would have loved to see their faces when they were asked to pay thousands. Also, I can definitely see the funny side of a group of women all turning up in bridal lehenga! I wouldn’t waste any time dwelling on this OP, I’d have probably said something too.

I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that not all of the wedding guests will know the bride well enough to recognize her in a wedding outfit.

But even if they did know which one she was you aren't seriously suggesting that at no wedding would it be the slightest bit confusing to see multiple "brides" walking down the aisle?

Not necessarily because you don't know which one the actual bride is, just general confusion about how odd it was?

Surely it would be the opposite of a cross cultural merging, because it would be obvious that the people doing it had no idea or regard for the culture, as they had all turned up in wedding garb and just thought 'Oh look some nice Asian stuff'

It would be like the Moonies

A 10 second search for bridesmaids wearing white indicates YABU.

Traditions aren't laws. People form new traditions all the time Maybe this will be one of them.

I agree with this. All of the people saying OP was interfering, absolutely would have intervened to explain the cultural norm if a group of non-white women were all planning on buying a bride’s dress with train and veil to wear at the same wedding.

And they would have seen themselves as educating rather than interfering.

Why is it different with someone else’s culture?