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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable to interfere with brides choice?

130 replies

Allequal · 26/12/2025 08:10

I was shopping in an asian bridal outlet this week and saw a large group of white british ladies trying on Indian bridal outfits. I assumed they were all getting married but I got talking to one of them who explained to me that she is getting married to an Indian chap and that the other ladies were her family and bridesmaids. To which I responded "oh so they are all trying on the dresses to help you decide?" And she said "no they are picking outfits for themselves.

I was absolutely horrified and explained to her that in this shop the type of clothing is just for the bride, and that if her whole family are wearing bridal outfits the grooms family will be confused as to who the bride is, and it will detract from the day because there would be a lot of scandal and gossip during and after the event.
The bride was angry and basically told me off for interfering, said she was happy for her family to look beautiful on the day but I tried to explain to her that it isnt about beauty, it would be like seeing an Indian bride in an English shop and her whole family and bridesmaids are all planning on buying a white wedding gown to turn up to the church together. You know it would look ridiculous and would become a family joke eventually
But she basically said I was rude and the shopkeeper asked me to leave (naturally wanting to make a lot of sales).

Was i unreasonable for interfering? I just didn't want her big day to be spoiled.

OP posts:
Nesbi · 26/12/2025 21:18

pinkstripeycat · 26/12/2025 20:32

You are a nosy busybody OP. Mind your own business instead of acting like a know it all. You sound like a mean girl as you so rudely called a PP.

Perfect example of how unpleasant MN can be - maybe stay off the internet for a bit.

Mamma18272 · 26/12/2025 21:20

What’s the price difference between the two
out of curiosity? Is it equivalent to the difference between wedding dresses (hundreds to thousands of pounds) and bridesmaids dresses (£100-200 I guess?)

Mamma18272 · 26/12/2025 21:20

Nesbi · 26/12/2025 21:18

Perfect example of how unpleasant MN can be - maybe stay off the internet for a bit.

Show quote history

Agree, quite childish too!

UxmalFan · 26/12/2025 21:26

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 26/12/2025 11:12

You’ve done all you could, OP. Looks like she’ll have to learn an embarrassing, expensive mistake on her own.

It’s also a little bit of the bride’s fault for not bringing someone from her fiancé’s culture to help her understand what she was choosing.

You did the right thing OP. Your analogy of the whole wedding party turning up in a long white dress with a veil and bouquet, is spot on. No doubt the groom will explain to his fiancee, if he finds out before the wedding. It could only work if the groom is very anglicised himself, and will be inviting no traditional Indian family members to the ceremony.

2DemisSVP · 26/12/2025 21:26

Well done for trying to explain to them , that was really kind of you. Shame they didn’t listen. I have very found memories of wearing Indian clothing to an event , and my friends and I being taken into the changing rooms by some lovely Indian ladies who laughed so hard as they straightened us out !

TreesinthePark · 26/12/2025 21:37

This is a photo from Venus Williams' recent wedding

Edit: Google it if it didn't post, its lovely with bridesmaids in white dresses

tumbletoast · 26/12/2025 21:44

TreesinthePark · 26/12/2025 21:37

This is a photo from Venus Williams' recent wedding

Edit: Google it if it didn't post, its lovely with bridesmaids in white dresses

Edited

A celebrity wedding where all the women wore white and all the men wore black and looked like they were going to a funeral? Hardly the norm is it.

Isn't this just an exception that proves the point that it would be unusual and attract attention?

Pollyanna87 · 26/12/2025 21:46

Why would I care if Asian bridesmaids wore Western bridal gowns?

EatYourDamnPie · 26/12/2025 22:04

Pollyanna87 · 26/12/2025 21:46

Why would I care if Asian bridesmaids wore Western bridal gowns?

Really? You’d see 5 women walking down the aisle in white wedding gowns and you wouldn’t think anything ?

LeftBoobGoneRogue · 26/12/2025 22:08

pinkstripeycat · 26/12/2025 20:32

You are a nosy busybody OP. Mind your own business instead of acting like a know it all. You sound like a mean girl as you so rudely called a PP.

You’re rude yourself. There’s no need to call the OP that. The OP does know because she’s from that culture and understands it, unlike the bride.

Pollyanna87 · 26/12/2025 22:11

EatYourDamnPie · 26/12/2025 22:04

Really? You’d see 5 women walking down the aisle in white wedding gowns and you wouldn’t think anything ?

Show quote history

It’s not my place to have a problem with it. I would just think they think it looks nice, and why not?

Clychaugog · 26/12/2025 22:14

OP, you were right.

Pretty sure that had an Asian family tried to buy 8 huge meringue bridal gowns all with veils and trains for the bride and bridesmaids someone would have said something

Blump2783 · 26/12/2025 23:56

somanychristmaslights · 26/12/2025 20:24

But I’ve seen plenty of “western” women wear Asian clothing to a wedding. I thought that was acceptable?

Op, genuinely asking as I don’t know and curious, for an Asian wedding, is there a specific bridal outfit? Obviously in western cultures it’s a white dress, but is there something specific an Asian bride should wear? Maybe the women were like me (totally uneducated in Asian weddings!!) and thought they could just choose any outfit?

Show quote history

The whole point of the post and the concern of the OP is that white wedding guests were planning on wearing outfits a bride would wear. A bit like you turning up as a wedding guest dressed in a white meringue.

TheRoseDeer · 27/12/2025 00:48

You insult the bride’s intelligence by doing this. Has someone tied her down and forced her to buy these items? Is her hand zip tied to her phone and the shopkeeper looming over her to press a checkout button?

I bet no. I bet the group had come in for a good time and to have some fun trying on outfits for her wedding. What a lovely day and it’s gone ahead and been spoiled by someone interfering.

It’s up to the bride to research what she wants and does not want. She does not need a fairy godmother to pop out to save her from her shopping.

100% not your business. How uncomfortable for the bride and shoppers to be accosted by ‘helpful advice.’

Danceparty55 · 27/12/2025 01:43

Sounds like you were trying to stop someone from being scammed essentially. It was a kind thing to do but once someone has made up their mind, there isn’t really much you can do but graciously bow out.

Howverycurious · 27/12/2025 01:54

Allequal · 26/12/2025 08:10

I was shopping in an asian bridal outlet this week and saw a large group of white british ladies trying on Indian bridal outfits. I assumed they were all getting married but I got talking to one of them who explained to me that she is getting married to an Indian chap and that the other ladies were her family and bridesmaids. To which I responded "oh so they are all trying on the dresses to help you decide?" And she said "no they are picking outfits for themselves.

I was absolutely horrified and explained to her that in this shop the type of clothing is just for the bride, and that if her whole family are wearing bridal outfits the grooms family will be confused as to who the bride is, and it will detract from the day because there would be a lot of scandal and gossip during and after the event.
The bride was angry and basically told me off for interfering, said she was happy for her family to look beautiful on the day but I tried to explain to her that it isnt about beauty, it would be like seeing an Indian bride in an English shop and her whole family and bridesmaids are all planning on buying a white wedding gown to turn up to the church together. You know it would look ridiculous and would become a family joke eventually
But she basically said I was rude and the shopkeeper asked me to leave (naturally wanting to make a lot of sales).

Was i unreasonable for interfering? I just didn't want her big day to be spoiled.

I would have been glad of your help. I’d have hated to embarrass my groom by getting the attire wrong. It would show absolutely no understanding of his culture.

YANBU. And you did your best to help.
The rest is on the bride to be.

Howverycurious · 27/12/2025 01:57

EatYourDamnPie · 26/12/2025 22:04

Really? You’d see 5 women walking down the aisle in white wedding gowns and you wouldn’t think anything ?

Show quote history

It would be hilarious 🤣

IridiumSky · 27/12/2025 02:40

OP, you were being kind and did the right thing. The shopkeeper is horrible.

But there’s too much talk about the bride. What about the groom? If this sartorial absurdity turns out like it might, he’ll have to marry all of them, at the same time. It only takes a few additional words. But what a wedding night for him!

I hope he’s rich.😀

And deaf.😂

IridiumSky · 27/12/2025 02:48

Pollyanna87 · 26/12/2025 21:46

Why would I care if Asian bridesmaids wore Western bridal gowns?

Because it would look bloody stupid.

And look like the groom was marrying five women. His mates would laugh about it for years.

Clonakilla · 27/12/2025 03:45

I don’t think I would have got into an argument with the store owner over it.

But she may well end up following your advice because she’ll surely mention to her fiancee that there was a ‘mad woman who said all this stuff’ in the shop and it will all come out that you’re right.

LiveLuvLaugh · 27/12/2025 04:07

I agree with you OP. Cultural traditions here were trampled on not respected. You’re right, it would be like an English man marrying an Indian woman with her, and all her female friends and relations attending in a bridal gowns. The English family would dine out on the story for years.

Birch101 · 27/12/2025 04:18

YANBU

Marchitectmummy · 27/12/2025 05:51

Good for you, you were right and perhaps the bride will probably did realise once you left. You did the right thing.

CaptainMyCaptain · 27/12/2025 09:04

Clonakilla · 27/12/2025 03:45

I don’t think I would have got into an argument with the store owner over it.

But she may well end up following your advice because she’ll surely mention to her fiancee that there was a ‘mad woman who said all this stuff’ in the shop and it will all come out that you’re right.

Hopefully.

CaptainMyCaptain · 27/12/2025 09:07

It's easy to make mistakes if you don't know the culture. Years ago I knew an English woman who had worked as a midwife in Bangladesh. She bought a sari but didn't want anything too showy so bought a white one with a delicate trim. Everyone who saw her wear it was shocked and said 'why are you wearing that awful thing' because white was associated with death.