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Original poster

Awful Xmas day now this

68 replies

namechangeforthisstory · 26/12/2025 01:16

So Xmas day has been argumentative all day when the kids weren’t around. He never brought me any gifts (I know it’s not about that) but had no thanks of him for his gifts. He had a Xmas card in the side tha he’d brought for the kids to write me. He never asked them to do it but was able to get the kids to do one for his parents and presents. He went to bed at 7:30 as I was watching tv and he didn’t like that as he wanted to watch something. I said watch it on your phone or in the kitchen like I have to normally do. I’ve now just gone to turn the heating up and he’s taken the thermostat of the stand. Is this some sort of abusive behaviour?! Who even takes the thermostat!!!

OP posts:
caringcarer · 26/12/2025 07:19

Remember how you feel cold and upset now. As soon as solicitors open pop across and start divorce proceedings. He sounds an abusive knob. He'd rather make his kids freeze just to punish you.

Interpink · 26/12/2025 07:21

Yep. No relationship ever recovers from this level of contempt. He won’t just wake up one day and decide to stop being a twat.

Bin him.

Theunamedcat · 26/12/2025 07:30

You dont need a solicitor to file for divorce

Splinting · 26/12/2025 07:34

What a nasty man.

Springtimehere · 26/12/2025 07:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

tara66 · 26/12/2025 07:54

Buy multiple electric heaters asap - from his or joint money. Amazon is your friend as you live remotely.

ChikinLikin · 26/12/2025 07:55

LTB.

pictoosh · 26/12/2025 08:02

He sounds like a saboteur...casting gloom on special occasions because he wants to control the atmosphere. Taking the thermostat is downright nasty.
What an arsehole.

Sadza · 26/12/2025 08:05

namechangeforthisstory · 26/12/2025 03:26

I would wake him to get it but dread the aftermath. I think he’s just become an abusive twat. I have no idea why but he’s always been difficult. But this is a low for him. Saying that it’s not the first time he’s taken the thermostat when we’ve had an argument and I’ve had to work at home in the cold. (500 odd year old farm house so it holds no heat at all)

I can assure you that if someone had taken the thermostat from me once, it wouldn’t happen a second time. Your poor kids. There is a new year coming, clean sweep needed.

Toomuch44 · 26/12/2025 08:19

Sorry, but not letting you have any heat as a form of punishment is abusive. He obviously doesn't appreciate you and respect you.

Not saying you leave him right this second, but I'd find out what my options are - if he doesn't change, there could well be a time when you feel and know enough is enough.

Hawkinsresident · 26/12/2025 08:24

Return the gifts you got him and buy a big electric fire heater with plug in. Keep yourself and kids warm and safe

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 26/12/2025 08:26

Plan to chuck him out, but in the short term buy your own fan heater and one each for the kids.

pilates · 26/12/2025 08:34

He doesn’t like you very much does he.

NewYears resolution; get rid of your old rubbish including your husband.

WhereYouLeftIt · 26/12/2025 08:48

namechangeforthisstory · 26/12/2025 03:26

I would wake him to get it but dread the aftermath. I think he’s just become an abusive twat. I have no idea why but he’s always been difficult. But this is a low for him. Saying that it’s not the first time he’s taken the thermostat when we’ve had an argument and I’ve had to work at home in the cold. (500 odd year old farm house so it holds no heat at all)

:(

It's New Year soon and as a Scot I believe in making New Year's Resolutions. You know what yours should be - make yesterday the last time he EVER had the opportunity to be the "abusive twat" that he is. Always remember that he punished your children with a cold house just to punish you. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for them.

localnotail · 26/12/2025 09:18

All these threads today about awful partners people live with makes me grateful I am single!

Eyeshadow · 26/12/2025 09:29

Him going to bed early is fine.

Everything else is not.

You should never feel like a child in your relationship.
It is your home and your thermostat, he does not get to take it.

This is obviously an ongoing pattern to his behaviour which isn’t going to get any better.
I’d make 2026 the year which I out myself first and he either sorts himself out or I’d be done.

BigMommasHouse · 26/12/2025 09:34

Don’t buy him anything else again, ever. Leave!

WakeUpchangeChannelSleeeeeep · 26/12/2025 09:36

namechangeforthisstory · 26/12/2025 03:26

I would wake him to get it but dread the aftermath. I think he’s just become an abusive twat. I have no idea why but he’s always been difficult. But this is a low for him. Saying that it’s not the first time he’s taken the thermostat when we’ve had an argument and I’ve had to work at home in the cold. (500 odd year old farm house so it holds no heat at all)

Fucks sake, honest to God OP, read that back and make a plan. Let someone else have the 'gift' that he is.

flowertoday · 26/12/2025 09:45

He is not the person you want to spend your life with, or even.another Christmas.

Make plans to move on.
You are more restrained than me. I would have gone berserk at him for taking the thermostat like that. He is lucky to still be uninjured / without a cold bucket of water over him.. Pathetic thing for him to do.
You are worth more x

Work9to5 · 26/12/2025 09:46

Are you the farmer's wife whose home is on the farm? This sounds a bit familiar.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 26/12/2025 10:16

You need to get some electric heaters and hide them so he can't hide them.

Then LTB asap.

Happyjoe · 26/12/2025 10:16

namechangeforthisstory · 26/12/2025 02:43

Suddenly given up. Not with standing the fact he’s taken the thermostat so me and the kids are cold even though we’re in bed.

Yeah, this is going into abusive territory as well as strange and odd behaviour. I think you seriously need to start thinking of an exit route.. life literally is too short to be with people like this.

Old childhood neighbour's husband did things like this. He actually went out of his way to buy several alarms and hid them around the house (she worked nights) so she couldn't sleep in the day, while he was at work, as they went off at various times. Honestly, some people are just downright weird and cruel and we all owe it to ourselves to get away from them.

MrsofClaus · 26/12/2025 10:17

Work9to5 · 26/12/2025 09:46

Are you the farmer's wife whose home is on the farm? This sounds a bit familiar.

I thought it rang a bell too?

StandFirm · 26/12/2025 10:24

Temperature control (either through cold or heat) is a well-known form of torture in gulags/concentration camps.
Same for sleep deprivation (which was mentioned in another PP).

It may not sound very Christian of me but when I read about those little pathetic home tormentors, I wish upon them all the bad karma that they deserve in 2026.

sharkstale · 26/12/2025 10:24

k1233 · 26/12/2025 06:55

I don't have a thermostat, but by the fact he can take it does that mean you can buy your own and keep it hidden so the next time he takes it you can use yours and turn up the heat? Then play dumb about how it got to that temp as he had the thermostat didn't he?

Wow, imagine having to live like that within a marriage. I'm not saying it's not a good idea, but for it to come to having to buy aand hide your own thermostat (!!!), I think it's time to leave.

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