Page 3 | Awful Xmas day now this

Anonanonay · 26/12/2025 10:29

Cando6 · 26/12/2025 06:10

If it’s a sudden change then can I be the first to suggest it’s often a sign of someone who’s checked out of the marriage and doing that classic thing of behaving like an arse to justify their decision because they’re not mature or brave enough to use their words.
Can you have a neutral and non confrontational talk with him about why he is acting like someone who despises you? Then take it from there.

I'm not sure actively punishing someone is the same as indifference.

Namenamchange · 26/12/2025 10:34

He’s an arsehole, and you pulled him up on his behaviour and lack of love, and now he’s punishing you by taking the thermostat. He’s trying to teach you a lesson not to speak out.

jeaux90 · 26/12/2025 10:41

What an asshole. Please LTB.

SpinningaCompass · 26/12/2025 11:08

namechangeforthisstory · 26/12/2025 03:26

I would wake him to get it but dread the aftermath. I think he’s just become an abusive twat. I have no idea why but he’s always been difficult. But this is a low for him. Saying that it’s not the first time he’s taken the thermostat when we’ve had an argument and I’ve had to work at home in the cold. (500 odd year old farm house so it holds no heat at all)

You're in an abusive relationship. Please find a way to leave safely soon.

Nanny0gg · 26/12/2025 11:20

namechangeforthisstory · 26/12/2025 03:26

I would wake him to get it but dread the aftermath. I think he’s just become an abusive twat. I have no idea why but he’s always been difficult. But this is a low for him. Saying that it’s not the first time he’s taken the thermostat when we’ve had an argument and I’ve had to work at home in the cold. (500 odd year old farm house so it holds no heat at all)

Do you have options?

I think you need to make a plan for a happier 2026 that doesn't include him

Glitterybee · 26/12/2025 11:21

YANBU about the situation at all! Absolutely LTB

But YABU to confuse the words ‘brought’ and ‘bought’.

Lettace · 26/12/2025 11:31

namechangeforthisstory · 26/12/2025 01:16

So Xmas day has been argumentative all day when the kids weren’t around. He never brought me any gifts (I know it’s not about that) but had no thanks of him for his gifts. He had a Xmas card in the side tha he’d brought for the kids to write me. He never asked them to do it but was able to get the kids to do one for his parents and presents. He went to bed at 7:30 as I was watching tv and he didn’t like that as he wanted to watch something. I said watch it on your phone or in the kitchen like I have to normally do. I’ve now just gone to turn the heating up and he’s taken the thermostat of the stand. Is this some sort of abusive behaviour?! Who even takes the thermostat!!!

Buy a plug in radiator
it will annoy the fuck out of him

Cherrysoup · 26/12/2025 11:35

I echo the stand alone heater. What a nasty abusive arsehole to leave you and the dc cold. Just come back from walking the dogs and my Dh has woken up from nightshift (not due to get up for hours) and has put on the heating for me.

Anywherebuthere · 26/12/2025 11:43

I'm not one who says LTB easily.

Not giving gifts can be forgiven but taking the thermostat to punish you and the kids is abuse. It starts small and gets bigger. It doesn't end. Then it gets harder to leave.

You should start making plans to go your own way as soon as you can.

rogueone · 26/12/2025 11:44

Why are you wasting your life on this person. He doesn’t sound like he even likes you. Why are you accepting of this? It is not a nice relationship and you’re not setting a good example for the kids by allowing him to make your lives dreadful. And why of why did you buy this horrible human gifts? Set a plan for New Year at LTB

Wishihadanalgorithm · 26/12/2025 11:49

Go and see a divorce lawyer. Get this controlling, abusive shit out of your life.

Make sure next Christmas is a better one than this.

Isthisit22 · 26/12/2025 12:23

pilates · 26/12/2025 08:34

He doesn’t like you very much does he.

NewYears resolution; get rid of your old rubbish including your husband.

Pretty much exactly what I was thinking.

askmenow · 26/12/2025 12:33

Work9to5 · 26/12/2025 09:46

Are you the farmer's wife whose home is on the farm? This sounds a bit familiar.

this 👆 he’s taught you to become a passive recipient to his will.
Feel the 😡 ANGER if not for you, do it for your children.
Learn to defend them and their well-being.

TheGrimSmile · 26/12/2025 12:47

Blizzardofleaves · 26/12/2025 04:22

Choisong to ensure you are all cold is abusive.

You can choose to live in a house with your own thermostat. You can buy your own gifts, and not feel disappointed in him anymore. You can watch whatever you like every single night on TV. I’d be leaving. Not dragging this out for another year.

This

MyrtleLion · 26/12/2025 13:13

https://open.substack.com/pub/rachelhewitt/p/why-are-some-men-so-bad-at-gift-giving

And women, the only moral here is that, if your husband doesn’t buy you a present, or gets you a crappy last-minute gift when you’ve spent much of the year contorting yourself around his desires, he is telling you loud and clear that he’s not prepared to expend any resources - any time, any energy, any mental capacity, any money - on getting to know you, on seeing you as you really are, on enhancing your happiness or on recognising your value. This Christmas, don’t let anyone convince you that this isn’t a big deal.

AllThePickledOnes · 26/12/2025 15:33

Blizzardofleaves · 26/12/2025 04:22

Choisong to ensure you are all cold is abusive.

You can choose to live in a house with your own thermostat. You can buy your own gifts, and not feel disappointed in him anymore. You can watch whatever you like every single night on TV. I’d be leaving. Not dragging this out for another year.

I agree with this poster.

OP what you've described sounds awful. You don't have to put up with this.

CoastalCalm · 26/12/2025 15:47

Yep this is abuse of you and your children - set the right example and stop accepting it or you’re setting the children up to expect this in life too

shhblackbag · 30/12/2025 23:47

Just saw this on Facebook, wanted to mention it. Sorry, OP. It is abusive.

https://www.facebook.com/share/1BqqvmrTeb/