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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Come on then, which gifts are going to the charity shop?

164 replies

lemonsherberts6 · 25/12/2025 23:09

2 soap and glory gift sets. My skin is sensitive, so I can’t use anything like that.
Baylis and Harding hand set - same deal.
A candle - never use them.
Pink gin - don’t like and never drink it.

It’s always the same people, no thought put into it. I think they just grab random bits from the 3 for 2 at Boots. I’d never say anything, of course, but it’s the same stuff every year and it gets a bit disappointing as I always make an effort to buy gifts that people actually enjoy or will use. Honestly, I’d prefer if they just saved their money.

What has everyone else had?

OP posts:
Olderbutt · 26/12/2025 12:53

Three things from one friend, sadly, no thought whatsoever but is very picky about what she receives. One of the items is a complete mystery and even she doesn't know what it is!

Original poster
lemonsherberts6 · 26/12/2025 22:17

EchoedSilence · 26/12/2025 08:30

Nothing, I love any bath and shower gel sets. They go in the bathroom and all get used.

Do you think none of your oh so thoughtful gifts don't end up in the Charity shop?

That's great for you! I don't have a choice though, I can't use body sets due to sensitive skin so it’s not a case of me being ungrateful.

Sure, there's a possibility that some of my gifts could have gone to charity, but I doubt it. I say this because I have a pretty good memory and I pay attention to what people say in conversations / take note of their preferences. My mum was the same (remembers little things) and people have always commented on her gifts, how she remembered something, etc. Not everyone does that though or remembers (or even cares really)

OP posts:
Original poster
lemonsherberts6 · 26/12/2025 22:26

I’ve never told them directly, because it does seem rude, but I have talked about how I’m not a fan of candles, don’t drink (and if I do, it’s not gin), have sensitive skin, and so on. It seems like people either don’t pay much attention or just don’t care. For the past 4 Christmases, I’ve received a candle from the same person. Honestly, I wish she would just save her money. Next year, I’m definitely going to cut back, or I might just say I’m not doing gifts at all. I think that would be easier.

OP posts:
Original poster
lemonsherberts6 · 26/12/2025 22:27

Happyjoe · 26/12/2025 00:29

Without you telling them that you don't like the presents/can't use them then they are probably thinking the same thing as you - that they're being thoughtful and getting you something you like and use! Each year you probably say 'how lovely', pretend to be pleased.... and the cycle continues! 😀

Show quote history

I’ve never told them directly, because it does seem rude, but I have talked about how I’m not a fan of candles, don’t drink (and if I do, it’s not gin), have sensitive skin, and so on infront of them. It seems like people either don’t pay much attention or just don’t care. For the past 4 Christmases, I’ve received a candle from the same person. Honestly, I wish she would just save her money. Next year, I’m definitely going to cut back, or I might just say I’m not doing gifts at all. I think that would be easier

OP posts:
BunsBoots · 26/12/2025 22:35

A purse, a xmas plate, a candle and a makeup bag.

Original poster
lemonsherberts6 · 26/12/2025 22:36

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 26/12/2025 09:16

Do you think none of your oh so thoughtful gifts don't end up in the Charity shop?

Undoubtedly. Nobody gets it right every time, I hope when I get it wrong the presents are passed on accordingly.

I think getting it wrong once in a blue moon is slightly different to getting it wrong every year though (in my opinion)

OP posts:
MumChp · 26/12/2025 22:40

None - kids can eat the sweets and chocolates. No big deal.

RyanFudgingMurphy · 26/12/2025 22:42

Not Christmas but my birthday was a month ago & I got one of thise awful B&H sets. They just scream: I don't really know you/can't be bothered to try.

Christmas was ok, because I got nice things that I will keep. Although someone bought me a Crazy Cat Lady coaster. I inherited a cat against my will, and we tolerate each other, but I prefer dogs.

Dollybantree · 26/12/2025 22:45

Some pyjamas I won’t wear (I only wear the stretchy jersey type material) and a necklace dh bought me is being returned (not to the charity shop). I had seen it online and coveted it but it’s arrived and is unfortunately a really weird yellow-y gold colour - it looks like it fell out of a Christmas cracker yet cost over £200!

Dontgochasingrainbows · 26/12/2025 22:57

lemonsherberts6 · 26/12/2025 22:27

I’ve never told them directly, because it does seem rude, but I have talked about how I’m not a fan of candles, don’t drink (and if I do, it’s not gin), have sensitive skin, and so on infront of them. It seems like people either don’t pay much attention or just don’t care. For the past 4 Christmases, I’ve received a candle from the same person. Honestly, I wish she would just save her money. Next year, I’m definitely going to cut back, or I might just say I’m not doing gifts at all. I think that would be easier

Show quote history

I did this with a close friend.
We always bought for each other but our tastes are very different.
She tended to buy me ornaments or pictures for the house. I don't display ornaments and pictures are very personal in my opinion.
I bought her practical gifts or pieces of jewellery. In hindsight we bought bought we liked ourselves.
We stopped and buy for each other's kids now. But the kids are getting older and its a bit pointless as we are just swapping vouchers for the same amounts and hoping we got the shops right.

therewasafishinthepercolator · 26/12/2025 22:57

Temu slippers and socks. 4 pairs of each.

Is it OK to send to charity? I've read that Temu stuff does not meet safety standards so we don't want it but I'm not entirely sure what to do with it. It's so wasteful to bin it but I don't want to pass on potentially unsafe items...

I really wish SIL would stop present buying. Every year with the Temu stuff. So wasteful. And i hate her wasting her money. We have tried. We agreed no presents from now on as our kids are all adults but then she sent a pile of presents down to us via MIL anyway.

Dontgochasingrainbows · 26/12/2025 22:58

therewasafishinthepercolator · 26/12/2025 22:57

Temu slippers and socks. 4 pairs of each.

Is it OK to send to charity? I've read that Temu stuff does not meet safety standards so we don't want it but I'm not entirely sure what to do with it. It's so wasteful to bin it but I don't want to pass on potentially unsafe items...

I really wish SIL would stop present buying. Every year with the Temu stuff. So wasteful. And i hate her wasting her money. We have tried. We agreed no presents from now on as our kids are all adults but then she sent a pile of presents down to us via MIL anyway.

I'd bin the Temu stuff to be honest.
it is actual rubbish.

AmyDuPlantier · 26/12/2025 23:02

A pair of jammies which are cosy and soft but look like a 70s sofa. I feel awful but they are terminally ugly.

LokeyCokey · 26/12/2025 23:04

Every year my in-laws get us one of those “experience” voucher things, there is never anything I want to do and/or that’s local so it seems like a massive waste! I so wish they’d just do a voucher for normal stuff! Grin

Needmorelego · 26/12/2025 23:07

LokeyCokey · 26/12/2025 23:04

Every year my in-laws get us one of those “experience” voucher things, there is never anything I want to do and/or that’s local so it seems like a massive waste! I so wish they’d just do a voucher for normal stuff! Grin

Have you actually said "we have difficulty using those vouchers so don't get us those please" ?

WinterBerry40 · 26/12/2025 23:08

Sartre · 26/12/2025 11:52

MIL got us disgusting matching pyjamas with King and Queen on the shirt. We pissed ourselves laughing once she’d left. My Mum got us really random weird presents too, I’m not entirely sure what she was thinking with some. A salt lamp for example? I don’t know why anyone wants a lump of salt with a light in it.

Be aware those salt lamps can be toxic to animals . Some pets are drawn to licking them and being salt can damage their kidneys .

TwooooDoooozenRoses · 26/12/2025 23:13

Not a charity shop job but four(!) bottles of wine and a bottle of gin. All from close family and friends. I’ve been sober for nearly two years and have talked about that with all of them at various times…

Needmorelego · 26/12/2025 23:17

TwooooDoooozenRoses · 26/12/2025 23:13

Not a charity shop job but four(!) bottles of wine and a bottle of gin. All from close family and friends. I’ve been sober for nearly two years and have talked about that with all of them at various times…

I would actually physically hand them back.
What a bunch of inconsiderate people 🙁

Original poster
lemonsherberts6 · 26/12/2025 23:20

TwooooDoooozenRoses · 26/12/2025 23:13

Not a charity shop job but four(!) bottles of wine and a bottle of gin. All from close family and friends. I’ve been sober for nearly two years and have talked about that with all of them at various times…

blimey that’s awful!

OP posts:
JDM625 · 26/12/2025 23:20

100% polyester duvet set- bed size unknown as still in the vacuum bag from possibly temu and MIL didn't know the size she bought us. OH, and the pattern is a massive head of dog 😬

bridgetreilly · 26/12/2025 23:31

RaisinRainbow · 26/12/2025 04:54

Gutted that a F Hind box contained cat shape earrings rather than the plain gold or pearl studs I actually need and had been hinting for. What a waste of £55. Vinted here we come!! The giver gives USUALLY sticks to A gift script but these were an impulse buy - the exception proved the rule!! A 2 foot tall Balinese style wooden cat statue has already gone to the charity shop - I opened it early as it was obvious what it was. My home is vintage cottage core and it just doesn't suit. That giver is horrendously tone deaf around gifts, it's an annual cycle. He even joked about just buying from the rare book series which I would LOVE, then goes ahead with his own whims.

I’m really struggling to imagine the parcel which obviously contained a 2 foot tall Balinese statue of a cat.

LokeyCokey · 26/12/2025 23:31

Needmorelego · 26/12/2025 23:07

Have you actually said "we have difficulty using those vouchers so don't get us those please" ?

Show quote history

No because I can’t bring myself to appear ungrateful and I think they’d be offended.

Makingpeace · 26/12/2025 23:34

Smellies from my colleague, mug and coaster from another colleague, gloves and hand cream set, a range of terrible socks from DH, a nodding tat thing from Japan (family member biz trips souvenir),

AmarylIis · 26/12/2025 23:37

Dollybantree · 26/12/2025 22:45

Some pyjamas I won’t wear (I only wear the stretchy jersey type material) and a necklace dh bought me is being returned (not to the charity shop). I had seen it online and coveted it but it’s arrived and is unfortunately a really weird yellow-y gold colour - it looks like it fell out of a Christmas cracker yet cost over £200!

Sounds like it’s plated gold rather than real gold. So much jewellery is plated gold now. It’s super bright now but… Give it a few years and it all rubs off, it’s crap junk!

SusanChurchouse · 26/12/2025 23:42

A scarf from my in laws. It’s actually a good brand and nice quality but it’s wool which I don’t wear and it’s also beige which isn’t me. Also a board game that we already have.