to be disappointed by some gifts?

[HazelMember]

I am not talking about cost or expecting anything extravagant, more the thought behind them.

Mine: an engraved metal bookmark with someone else’s name on it plus a bunch of dried flowers complete with the Poundland label still attached.

Honesty I would rather receive nothing.

Why does everyone think you have to like or adore your relatives? There are lots of horrible people out there and someone has to be related to them! OP doesn’t have to love her grandfather just because they happen to be related.

Wish I still had a grandfather around to get a silly gift from. Just put flowers on my grandfather's grave :( you will cherish the bookmark one day maybe

The bookmark sounds lovely. A token from your grandfather, a keepsake.

Ok that changes things! Yeah that’s shit.

Depends who it’s from I suppose

My husband got me a tamagotchi 🙄 The fucking thing won’t stop beeping.

It’s quite obvious that someone bought it for him, and he decided to give it to his granddaughter. It’s not sweet at all.

It’s your granddad’s though. Unless he’s 50 year’s old I’d definitely cut him some slack on that one.

Sorry didn’t read update. If he just palmed it off on you then yes that’s crap.

I agree that no gift is better than a thoughtless one. I have seen my sons, my sister and my nieces to far today and I have had a lovely day (although also a bit sad due to a bereavement in November). I haven’t received a present yet (as was pre agreed) but I prefer that to something that I might not want/ need. It’s not about being ungrateful I just get stressed out with too much stuff. I will see my boyfriend this evening but he has told me he has arranged a day out for us. So I’ll find out what that is tonight. I think it will just be somewhere local for a nice walk/ lunch when the weather is nicer. Something I would absolutely like.
So I do think adult relatives should just stop buying gifts if they are just going to give rubbish anyway. Maybe some people think it’s ungrateful but I think it’s quite selfish to just give people rubbish rather than saying looking forward to seeing you at Christmas but I’m not doing gifts for adults any more. W

It’s easy to say to OP that they are over thinking or overreacting but it’s had not to feel hurt by some gifts we receive sometimes.

For our wedding, my in-laws (who had contributed nothing financial/personal/emotional or otherwise) to the entire process, gifted us a small silver bowl that they said was an heirloom from paternal side (not useful or attractive in any sense) and a brown ceramic bottle from maternal country (just looked on Etsy and something similar for sale for about £40, ugly and of no modern use or purpose) which apparently had been in the family.

Both in-laws have family which through inheritance had left them ‘nice stuff’ which if they had really wanted could have given us something useful, had family history or memories attached and/or decorative (painting for example of which they have loads). Husband had no prior recollection of the objects given to us on wedding day and like me, found both ugly, of no meaning/attachment and useless.

So basically we both felt very hurt by the gifts and would rather have had nothing at all. MIL family comes from location by sea and history of ship captains/fishing and a lot of the house is filled with things from this part of family history. Husband also has a big interest in sailing and the sea. So I know he was very confused as to the meaning behind the wedding gifts (ie no meaning or value).

Personally I just don’t think they really gave it any thought at all and they wasn’t any dig intended towards us. Indeed husband very close to parents and works with them. I think you just have to let some things go and not read into it much. I suppose you could ask your grandad why he gave bookmark to you?

I've had some lovely presents especially from my dd. In our house things are sometimes spoiled by dh being an ungrateful twat.
I got dh some money towards a guitar he wanted, a radio he mentioned he wanted and then hankies he needed and some pyjamas/loungewear and a guitar cleaning thing. He said,oh i've got 4 lot's of pyjamas now and these might be too warm. The man feels the cold like no one i know. And you know when you've tried to find something they don't know about and might like i just felt so deflated and wondering why i'd bothered.
Next year he's only getting what he asks for if that and no surprises.

I should cherish a gift that he openly told me he did not want which was a retirement gift?

How was it a token? Can a token be I was given this gift for my retirement. I don't want it. You have it.

Personally I would regift the bookmark back to grandfather next year. I would also big up the gift to your friend next year but ensure I spent less than she did this year on something crap and reduced in poundland.

My thought exactly! I think people who are crass enough to moan about gifts they've received to a bunch of people they don't even know are pretty low, so I expect GF knows exactly what OP is like.

😂

Same here. My grandma passed away 3 weeks ago. I would love a bookmark with her name engraved on it , it actually makes me teary thinking how wonderful that would be. We both love(d) reading.

You can't cherish every single (thoughtless/silly) gift everyone gives you in case they die someday. You'd have thousands of things.

I'm not a fan of regifting or of Poundland, I wouldn't be hurt exactly but I'd be rethinking for next year.

Sorry about your grandma.

Happy retirement your grandma's name engraved on a bookmark is something you would really cherish? Especially when she had told you she didn't want her retirement gift so was giving it to you to get rid of it?

Of course the bookmark isn’t a gift to cherish. It would be different if he’d given a little explainer saying how he’d used and loved it for many years, and he knows the OP loves reading so wanted to pass it on. But he didn’t, it was just something he didn’t like, had no use for, and passed on

Sigh, OP, some people get it and some don't.....

Perhaps they haven't read all your posts or think that a sweetie wrapper their Grandfather threw in the bin 20 years ago has some sort of emotional bond for them....

OP - I am going to tell my adult children not to buy me gifts for Xmas any more. I am fortunate to have everything I need and apart from books they would be wasting their money. In the past I asked for specific books and DD2 normally gets one for me while DD1 gets whatever she can grab at the last minute (this year a pack of bath bombs from TKMaxx which I will never use). Truly, why bother when no thought goes into the gift anyway.

Is there a chance you grandfather didn't realise the bookmark was engraved? They do sound like thoughtless gifts though, I am sorry

It was mentioned at his retirement leaving do by his colleagues who organised the gift for him as he loves to read. He told me all about the gift, how it was given to him, how he didn't want it and was giving it to me.

I was gonna say you were then I saw the shocker of a gift you got I’m so sorry