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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

BF has copy of Famous Book By a German Man with a Hairy Lip Need Advice

84 replies

southoftheeast · 25/12/2025 00:14

Hi, hopefully this is as anonymous as possible...please don't judge about timing, etc., I have autism/adhd combined

My boyfriend has a copy of --Min Kmf, which I knew about but didn't really make a fuss at the time. It was just not in my consciousness at the time.
I seem to remember him explaining something, but I can't quite remember (neurodivergent - it's complicated)
Anyway, to cut a long story short, he's recently decided to start bragging about owning it on social media. It was only then, when I actually did some deep research on it, that I realised just how bad it was - I was particularly offended with H's opinion on black people (related to me), but overall it's offensive.
So I confronted him and asked him to explain why he actually has the book (a bit late, I know), and, more importantly, whether he believes everything in it, and what that says about me. Anyway, this was last week, and from that time on he hasn't responded or been in contact.
He was supposed to spend the holiday with the children and me, it's a serious relationship, etc., we may as well be married...
Ive had lots of deep thought about this (I am a loner, so I have lots of time when my children are asleep to hyperfocus on things) and I still don't think I was wrong to ask. He did get back, actually, and said, I don't have to explain to myself.
I left a voice note for him today to explain my situation and how i feel and but hes not read it/responded. Hes extremley stubborn.... I am too...
But I don't know what else to do than abandon ship or wait for him to respond. AIBU?

OP posts:
LividArse · 25/12/2025 14:04

Theslummymummy · 25/12/2025 01:19

My (ex) mate gave his godson a copy of it for his christening 😬

The fuck

BusyExpert · 25/12/2025 15:01

I have a copy of the communist manifesto. I am not even a socialist. If I came across a copy of Mein Kampf it would sit beside it. I also have a number of political biographies of people from all political thought. IMO they are historical documents and the only thing they represent is my wish not to have information filtered through someone else’s political bias.
how does he treat you? Before you knew that he had a copy did he treat you badly. Did he treat you as less because you are black?
if he did you should have given him the boot ages ago . If not perhaps you should just grow up.

Theslummymummy · 25/12/2025 16:49

LividArse · 25/12/2025 14:04

The fuck

IKR gross

FunkyBiddyPop · 25/12/2025 16:55

Ultimately, if he had it for academic/curiosity reasons he would have no problem being upfront with you about this. Posting it on social media (depending on the context of the post ofc) seems to add to him having it for reasons that are flat out not acceptable. I think his silence and refusal to explain anything to you IS his answer. Throw this one back.

TalulahJP · 25/12/2025 18:41

think youve been dumped for questioning his views.

that’s good because he must be a right twisted bastard to be going around bragging about that book and idolisimg such an individual. You are better off without him.

delete your voice note block him and move on.

nobody should ignore their gf because she tries to understand them better. and certainly not at christmas.

hes so thick hes just realised youre not an arian person so he can’t be with you. I bet hes not blue eyed and blonde either but it didn’t stop hitler either….

JohnofWessex · 25/12/2025 19:05

Back in the late 90's I did driver training in Poland

Mostly on OL-49's working passenger trains between Wolsztyn & Poznan but I also did some freights

These were worked by TY2 or TY42, the Polish designation for the German DR Class 42 Kriegslok - war locomotive. The TY2's were WW2 vintage while the TY42's were post war Polish built versions. Lovely bits of kit BUT the 'Occupation Era' ones gave me the creeps.

My father was in Force L - the follow up support troops just after D-Day and went all through Europe until 'Demob' in 1946 & my mother was in the AFS - Auxiliary Fire Serviced and was fire watching on Purdown watching Bristol burn.

My youngest son in into reenacting and we went to a major event which allowed 'Nazi' reenactors - not all do and I did wonder why someone would want to wear WW2 German or Confederate uniform. Persoinally the stuff gives me the creeps & I prefer to stay away from it

BahMinthumbug · 25/12/2025 19:20

Hitler was Austrian

Scared0112 · 25/12/2025 19:22

Thankfully you’re not married, so cut him loose.

his bragging, failure to engage in conversation about it and ghosting you and your children at Christmas over it?

put him in the bin.

cobrakaieaglefang · 25/12/2025 19:52

So 1 post from OP, not returned..ok

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