BF has copy of Famous Book By a German Man with a Hairy Lip Need Advice

[southoftheeast]

Hi, hopefully this is as anonymous as possible...please don't judge about timing, etc., I have autism/adhd combined

My boyfriend has a copy of --Min Kmf, which I knew about but didn't really make a fuss at the time. It was just not in my consciousness at the time.
I seem to remember him explaining something, but I can't quite remember (neurodivergent - it's complicated)
Anyway, to cut a long story short, he's recently decided to start bragging about owning it on social media. It was only then, when I actually did some deep research on it, that I realised just how bad it was - I was particularly offended with H's opinion on black people (related to me), but overall it's offensive.
So I confronted him and asked him to explain why he actually has the book (a bit late, I know), and, more importantly, whether he believes everything in it, and what that says about me. Anyway, this was last week, and from that time on he hasn't responded or been in contact.
He was supposed to spend the holiday with the children and me, it's a serious relationship, etc., we may as well be married...
Ive had lots of deep thought about this (I am a loner, so I have lots of time when my children are asleep to hyperfocus on things) and I still don't think I was wrong to ask. He did get back, actually, and said, I don't have to explain to myself.
I left a voice note for him today to explain my situation and how i feel and but hes not read it/responded. Hes extremley stubborn.... I am too...
But I don't know what else to do than abandon ship or wait for him to respond. AIBU?

Don’t see the issue. Just because you’ve read something doesn’t mean you agree with it. My dad and DH gave read it dads a retired history teacher DH interested. Both kind thoughtful the absolute opposite of nazi in their views. We all do read widely generally though.

Well, let me preface this by saying: yes, I have a copy from over 25 years ago... Because I'm a history graduate specialising in Germany from 1918-1945.

I've read it, don't brag about it and I honestly don't think much of it. If he is, or is proud of the book. I'd get rid of him quicker than yesterday's underwear

Its a piece of history: my partner is a massive lefty but has nazi books. It’s interesting to know how facism
grew and took over in recent history. We must learn frim the past

If he didn't agree with it, or admire Hitler, he would have replied to your responded to your asking about it with some reassurance.

What other books does he read? If 'the book' is up there on the shelf with noam chomsky, Karl marx, and a wide range of philosophical readings I'd be less concerned and just tell him to wind it in on SM

I’m sorry OP but the fact that he hasn’t responded to you in any way suggests this relationship is done. I can understand owning the book out of curiosity and reading it to see what it actually says rather than finding out second hand, but the lack of response…..no explanation and ignoring you. This relationship is over.

I have a copy, I also have the Thoughts of Chairman Mao and Das Capital amongst others - context is everything. I'm interested in political history, is he?, is he a ww1 / ww2 buff, in which case really there is nothing to see.

If he thinks its an ideology to follow / admires the views expressed, then that's another matter.

Reading it- I wouldn't mind, I find it interesting as it is such an infamous book. Never have, but I get it.

Bragging about it on social media. WARNING! Not normal.

Refusing to answer your question about it: RUN! you are valid in asking, for him.to then ignore you and now not be doing Christmas because of asking a question about what appears to be his very strong views... run. Now.

I am ND. I would consider if this shutting down/coldness is a common theme when you question him. Speaking from experience, the dopamine you will get from him.shutting you off then coming back will keep you hooked- but it isn't healthy..

I would say that actually your relationship is potentially not all that great or healthy. Otherwise he wouldn't be ignoring you over a book he read just out of interest. I would end it, he doesn't respect you, he doesn't respect you and the kids at an important time like Christmas, and his views are strong and not in line with your own.

Wait till the tabloids get hold of this one. "My partner left me -- for HITLER!"

Bragging about it is strange but I think you’re YABU speaking about it as if you have read way too much Harry Potter. Making books verboten stems from the narrative of totalitarianism/wrongthink.

I have read it, I also own Capital: A Critique of Political Economy and Selected Works of Kim Il-Sung. All very dull but worth reading from historical/political perspective. The last one is unfortunately quite comical in places despite the tragic context.

This says it all. You cannot possibly stay with him!!!

Yes but as PPs have mentioned its how you approach it that counts. If you own it/read it out of intellectual curiosity its fine: I own copies of Das Kapital and the Koran. I’m not a communist or a Muslim and never will be; I am interested in learning about the perspectives of people who follow the respective ideology or faith. Owning Mein Kampf in this context is one thing.

Owning Mein Kampf not because you are interested in it as a piece of historical artefact but because you want tp plaster comments from it’s author over social media is a whole other ballgame. Particularly if your partner is non white.

Don’t really understand this.

I have a copy of Mein Kampf, bought it in an interesting secondhand bookshop a few years ago.

Haven’t got around to reading it yet as I imagine it’ll be heavy going.

Husband has taken it on holiday with us a few times as it’s the only time he really gets time to read, but similarly, hadn’t got round to reading it, opting for something lighter.

Neither of us are in any way Nazis, racists or admirers of Hitler.

Owning the book is fine, bragging about it is odd.

Whether or not he’s a wrong’un, leaving a voice message to ‘explain your situation and let him know how you feel’ is never a good idea. That is not what voice notes are for. There is nothing worse than seeing a voice note that lasts over a minute which you know is going to come across as moaning and the only way to respond is by trying to remember all the points made and leaving another voice note. Honestly, I wouldn’t respond to that either, because it needs a conversation that isn’t really suited to Christmas morning.

You’re with a neo-Nazi.
One thing to have it if you’re a WW2 historian (even then it would be tenuous), but to brag about it in SM. Well that shows that he wants others to know his disgusting views.

How do you know he admires Hitler OP. Reading a book doesn't necessarily mean that.

OK, if you didn't have any further info on his having it, I'd say check it's not for study purposes, 'know the enemy'. If he's flexing about it online, I'd say there's a big risk he's into redpill edgelord nonsense and Not A Good Person To Be With. It sounds like he thinks he's being Big and Clever and Shocking by having it, though I question if he's ever read it (I don't think it's very well written exactly).

I agree with @QBTheRoundestOfBees that in the current climate particularly it's very dodgy owning it, and even more dodgy he can't discuss it with you and be open with you.

I'm Jewish BTW and a descendent of a Holocaust survivor - any excuse for owning that book other than for comparative study or for historical context while seeing the content as repellant, would not be acceptable. 'Trying to get the other side of the story' or /Trying to be open minded' or anything like is also not acceptable - there is no coming to terms with 'I think classes of people should be exterminated for existing'

FWIW I don't think it should be banned and I am OK with people having it for the right reasons; it is an important historical document, but no one should be seeing it as inspirational.

I'm sure many historians and politicians etc have owned and read this book, as it's important to understand how such a significant political movement came about.
What is concerning is boasting about it and/or subscribing to some of the theories and policies it contains.

Is he quite young and/or is he ND as well?

I find a some people on the spectrum sort of show off about edgy things, like it makes it sound alternative or clever to know about or own copies of various books/literature that is shocking or anti social. Not necessarily because they believe in the words and belief it sets out (although that cant be discounted) but because it brings a certain outrageous cache with it in the worlds and minds of people who are similar, they dont necessarily understand how that makes them actually look and sounds and possibly dont care either

On the other hand, none of that might apply and he might just be some raging anti semite and all that comes with that.

To be honest unless he’s a historian, even owning it is a step too far. There is no need for anyone to read it, unless it’s for genuine research purposes.

How long have you been together? What's your relationship like in general? Do you live together?

Dump him if you can, why risk it? His reply ("i don't need to explain myself"), bragging about the book, giving you the silent treatment- all additional red flags to the book itself.

Also - and I say this as a fellow ND loner - you sound potentially vulnerable to nasty men, for example if he knows you have no one else.

Did you say that you're a Black person or have Black family- if yes, and he really cares about you, it should be obvious to him why you would be offended by the book and want to know why he has it.

To be honest, everything you have said in your post screams red flag. Please put yourself first, get a social safety net of friends so you're not alone, and dump this horrible man.

How do you know he admires Hitler OP. Reading a book doesn't necessarily mean that.

I suggest you read up on ANTIFA. and casually drop it into conversation.

I align with ANTIFA, and before anyone starts, its ANTI FASCIST, that's all it means.

I have the Austrian Corporals book as well, on PDF. As others have said, the writing is terrible, as is Marx etc.

The book isn't the issue @southoftheeast , he's happy to tell people he owns it but says he won't explain himself to you, basically he's either showing off on SM, which is a bit sad, or he agrees with the book but thinks his nasty views aren't your business. Well it is your business, you don't want people to think you agree do you?

Of course the book is the issue.