To feel sorry for the DMIL’s at this time of year?

[JayF2]

The Mumsnetter DMIL’s that is. Don’t get me wrong, I know some will be horrible. But the poor buggers can’t get a break! If they so much as break wind they will receive an essay of a post on here bemoaning their character!

Literally can't do ANYTHING right!

I agree, I'm dreading becoming a mil.
I wonder why mums of girls are so perfect...?

Some deserve it, like the one turning up at 6am every christmas morning. 😳 but aye, some definitely don’t!

YANBU

A lot of MNetters seem to hold them to much higher standards than the men, and even themselves.

Grandparents, too.

Ah not all! I’ll be with my lovely MIL tomorrow, she’ll spoil the kids, praise anything I contribute, be kind and chill and offer me more champagne.
There are some threads here where I do wonder at people though, the MIL arriving at 6am is definitely in the wrong!

Indeed! MIL asking if they should pick up veg from the farm shop is seen as weird and controlling behaviour!

My MIL is great, my mum however is a pain in the arse....

I think it's because only the bad gets spoken about.

My exdp's mum died when dd was only as few weeks old, but she was amazing and whilst she disclose stuff that drove me crazy, by and large she was amazing and I loved her dearly. Even 12 years on I miss her. In her last few weeks she insisted I called her mum, told all the staff in the hospital that i was her daughter. She refused to buy anything for dd when inwa pregnant in case it wasnt to my taste, but looked like she had won the lottery jackpot when I she gave me money she had saved tongue things and I insisted she came with me and helped chose things.

My dh's mum is the original narcissist. She makes awful comments and then acts clueless when people are annoyed with her. I am civil but I ensure that she is dh's issue and that he attends to her.

My Mum must be a good MIL as my brothers’ wives are always over there independently and use her for child care a lot.
My MIL speaks to me as if I’ve just arrived on the Earth and I don’t have a brain cell, tells me how to raise my children after doing an appalling job with her own when they were young and asks my children inappropriate questions. I avoid her as much as as humanly possible. FIL is on the same scale.

MiL is arriving shortly. She'll need to be waited on with multiple cups of tea but otherwise no bother and enhances the festivities.

Oh I agree. My Mil is a nice enough women and fairly easy going, my SIL is constantly pissed off with her, she can’t do right for wrong. Her cardinal sin this year, she bought Neice 17 a John Lewis voucher instead of going in herself and trying to choose some make up she liked. If she had bought make up/ perfume SIL would have claimed it was the wrong thing. It’s almost funny, dh and I play bingo about what’s going to set her off.

Too involved or not involved enough. Interfering in the kitchen or wanting to be waited on. Purchased the wrong gift or asked for advice on what to buy. Can’t bloody win.

It’s my Mum that’s the problem. But I suppose she’s some people’s mil.

SIL finds my mum a bit mad in the same way as I do but only affectionately. I love my MIL and am as happy to spend Christmas with PIL as my parents on alternate years. DB loves his MIL too and is close to her

I have no concerns about being a MIL in the future because all the relationships between MILs and their SILs/DILs that I've observed have been perfectly normal and pleasant.

Snap.

Same! I’m the mum of a boy and a girl, so how can I be so perfect with one and a monster with the other? What if I’m with them at the same time, what will I be then??

I have 2 boys so I'm dreading it if either of them go out with a MNer.

There are some horrors on here, for sure, but I do think it amplified as the MIL-from-hell threads generate a lot of chat. Sadly, my own mother and my MIL are no longer here and heaven knows they both had their moments but we miss them still. If I end up fortunate enough to be a MIL, I’ll make sure I’m reading mumsnet daily to try to find a(n almost) acceptable path to being a decent MIL….. 😆

I’ve had 2 MILS and they were both lovely. I could find things to get wound up about with both of them but neither were nasty or manipulative. Just sometimes a bit awkward or old fashioned in their ways.

I loved spending time with my MIL (no longer with us). This year I have invited my ex MIL for christmas, she’s great and I’m so glad I stayed in touch with her. I am NC with my own mother.

Can't wait to see my MIL tomorrow, I have no contact with my own parents, She spoils me every year, Will be waiting at the front door to give me a cuddle and tell me what a good job I did for my own little one this Christmas. I couldn't do life without her.

I love my MIL. She can be a pain in the arse at times like everyone else in the world. I do feel sorry for the ones with nightmare in-laws(usually a selfish DH issue as well) but a lot of people on here need to grow a backbone.

We only hear about the problem MILs. My mil is lovely, we get on well and will see them over Christmas and very regularly with no issues.

Me too, although i'm pretty perfect 😂