To feel sorry for the DMIL’s at this time of year?

[JayF2]

The Mumsnetter DMIL’s that is. Don’t get me wrong, I know some will be horrible. But the poor buggers can’t get a break! If they so much as break wind they will receive an essay of a post on here bemoaning their character!

If it’s any consolation, I love my parents in law. They’ve been nothing but welcoming to me and we get on great.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I have two DSs, so one day I'll probably be one of the MILs being moaned about 😥

As for my own MIL, she lives OS and I very rarely see her at Christmas, so I feel quite kindly disposed towards her! TBF, she doesn't interfere or criticise me, so although we have nothing in common (apart for our love of her DS), I think I got reasonably lucky.

My PIL are staying over for 6 days and it’s lovely!

My MiL is absolutely wonderful, it's my own DM who drives me mad!
My MiL is kind, thoughtful, generous and an all round lovely person.
Whilst I love my DM, she wants everything done her way and the snide comments & sulking when she doesn't get her own way is exhausting. She completely sucks any joy out of me when hosting her (Christmas, or any other time). If I try to talk to her about anything I'm met with denial, defensiveness, PA comments & more sulking.
If I'm fortunate to become a MiL in the future I aim to channel my DMiL, and not my DM!

I'm spoiling mine absolutely rotten, she's a wonderful, beautiful human and I'm so lucky to have her in my life 😁

just been on a trip to see ex pils which was marked by the biggest hug with ex mil at the start and end of the visit. Love her

It’s a small percentage of people on here. But some mils are awful. So are some mothers

You know all these threads with posters smuggling laughing and mocking

"these new mothers who are so precious and who think they are so special they don't want visitors after giving birth, who do they think they are" kind of thing. How ridiculous of them not to host their darling MIL and make her tea so she can have a cuddle she's entitle to" 😂

these. These are the MIL from hell for a start.

We could spend the entire night writing a full list.

My MIL was a nightmare some of the things she did were awful. Constantly lying, trying to manipulate her sons, playing them off each other. All 4 of her DIL had difficulty with her and eventually avoided her, I put up with it for 15 years, before I told dh no more, he could visit her and she was welcome to visit us but she couldn’t stay over as it was getting too intense (mainly between them) and I didn't want to expose dc to it, especially at Christmas. Thankfully she lived over 400 miles away so we didn’t see her often.

My mum was not an easy woman, but as her dd I could see she was just set in her ways and liked to do things her way, struggled with socialising. She got on great with her 2 SIL probably because she was a traditional housewife and spoiled them, dh loved the attention 🤦🏻‍♀️ , and great with two of her DIL who understood her traditional background and handled her with patience and kindness if they didn’t agree with her, but one DIL saw her as the MIL from hell, and still says to this day she was awful to her. Probably fault on both sides.

In some cases I don't think being a good MIL makes any difference. If your DIL takes a dislike to you for whatever reason you're stuffed.

I've had a practice run of being a MIL as my 18yr old son has been his gf quite a while. I've tried to make so much effort to be friendly, welcoming and keep my opinions to myself. I really like her and think they're great together but I catch her glaring at me, rolling eyes or make disparaging comments about me loudly on speaker phone I can't help but hear. Honestly I just can't win and I find it puzzling. I have never mentioned any of this to my DS. Hopefully this isn't a taste of future things to come 😅

Me too, my MIL is the loveliest. really thoughtful, loves the kids, always helpful and kind, we’re so different but we get on great.

We do exist…

My mil has stayed out of my kitchen as requested, cleaned her plate of Christmas dinner, and is happily watching star wars.

You are more charitable than me OP.

Having escaped my MIL, I have avoided close relationships ever since. I am not going through all that nastiness again.

On the bright side I am now so old, any man I date is unlikely to have a mum still around. 😀

I’m another with a lovely MiL. She is like a Mum to me because my own Mother is woefully inadequate.

I have 3 boys and will try and be the kind of Mil mine is - non-judgemental, kind and funny!

My mil is on a winter cruise I’m sure she’s fine 😁

My friend married an orphan no mil problems ever 😅

I think I'm a nice mil.
I don't overstep,I don't just turn up.
But you never really know.
But I'd like to think if I done so.ething to upset dil she could tell me.

Don’t feel sorry for my mil. I have just cooked her a lovely buffet full of her vegetarian faves and she is now having tea and mince pie!

Mine used to try and spoil Christmas Day in particular. My Christmas is much more pleasant without her.

I have plenty of friends who either get on with MIL, can tolerate in small doses etc. it doesn’t mean I could do the same with mine.

My first husband died only 18mths into our marriage but I still have his parents in my life, they live a 4 hr drive away and arrived 2 days ago to stay for the week so far she has ironed everything in sight (I never ever iron, that's DH job). she has made dinner both days, made the croquettes for tomorrow, the stuffing, the mince pies, brought a homemade pudding and cake with her. Insisted I sit under the baby while her and former FIL minded and brought out the other 4 and although only 2 of them are their blood grandsons, they treat and adore all 5 as if they were their own. I just adore the pair of them, as does DH.
My current inlaws are equally as amazing.
They both had very mean, cold and critical MILs and always swore they would do their best to be the opposite and they have succeeded.
However they each have a DIL who would not agree with either myself or all the other men and women who have married into their families so they are 100% the DILs from hell.
I currently have 5 sons and just plan on being exactly like them when my time comes and hope for the best!!!

My MIL is absolutely incredible. Love her dearly

This is the first year, in 15 years of marriage that MIL is spending Christmas Day with us (she’s always gone back to her home country to spend Christmas with a relative who wouldn’t travel, but she died this year, so they aren’t going).

We have always had a second Christmas when they got home, but it’s not really the same.

I’m excited to spend the day with her. Not everyone hates their mother in law. Mine is great. She will get tipsy, start speaking in Italian and laugh the whole time.

I love my DMIL. She brought up my DH and his siblings alone and is lovely. I would have her to live with us in a heartbeat. I hope I have DILs like me 🤣

Same.....

My DM has decided to stay home this yeat but is now plying on the guilt trip about HER decision 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

I'll be spending a relaxed day with my wonderful MIL, can't wait!

My MIL is on her way over. She’s lovely, and I’m happy to spend Christmas with her; she’s good fun and generally a nice person to be around!