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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at this?

78 replies

ByDreamyLimeLurker · 24/12/2025 02:41

Hi all, dont know if im just overreacting.

To cut a long story short, struggling a lot with sleep lately due to pregnancy and DP hogging the bed. We have a kingsize so theres plenty room for both. Im now getting bigger with bump and DP has recently resorted to either lying on top of me or giving me such little space im hanging off the bed. This has now been happening for around 3 weeks.

Around 30 minutes ago he woke me up because he started lying on top of me again. Asked him to move around 5 times over the 30 minute period. Kept getting an attitude off him so i eventually lifted my pillows and a blanket to head downstairs for the sofa as ive got an early start at 5am.

As i took my pillows he woke up and said "what are you doing?" So i replied "im just heading downstairs to sleep because I dont want to keep waking you up when you start work tomorrow at 2pm" after i said this i was hit with "aw whatever, BYE!" in a very sarcastic way.

AIBU? i feel like hes being a bit selfish considering im not as small as i used to be now bump is well and truly out there.

OP posts:
Unreasonablyextravagant · 24/12/2025 02:42

He’s an arsehole. Sorry. Who lies on top of a pregnant woman?

Original poster
ByDreamyLimeLurker · 24/12/2025 02:44

Unreasonablyextravagant · 24/12/2025 02:42

He’s an arsehole. Sorry. Who lies on top of a pregnant woman?

Im at the stage of side sleeping as bump is large, i confronted him the other day about lying on top of me and im met with "its not my fault i dont know im doing it in my sleep."

OP posts:
Emelene · 24/12/2025 02:54

This is bizarre. Surely he should move downstairs if he is disturbing you? Do you have one of those giant U shaped pillows? It can be an effective barrier. Why has he only started doing this in the last 3 weeks? Is there any way this could be deliberate?

Emelene · 24/12/2025 02:55

For context I’ve shared a double and a super king with my DH in my pregnancies and he’s never lain on me. He would have been mortified and apologetic if he had…

endofthelinefinally · 24/12/2025 02:57

Red flag.
I am sorry but he is already showing you that he doesn't care about your well being.

JustTalkToThem · 24/12/2025 02:58

You were being passive-aggressive. If you wanted to stay in bed - as you should - you should have said so.

Original poster
ByDreamyLimeLurker · 24/12/2025 02:58

Emelene · 24/12/2025 02:54

This is bizarre. Surely he should move downstairs if he is disturbing you? Do you have one of those giant U shaped pillows? It can be an effective barrier. Why has he only started doing this in the last 3 weeks? Is there any way this could be deliberate?

He seems to be in such a deep slumber he doesnt realise what hes doing. I explained to him the other day im a bit more achey and theres more pains now as im limited to side sleeping only to ensure baby is alright. He just didnt seem to care. Luckily my U pillow is coming a few days after Xmas but no doubt he will just steal it off me in his sleep like he does with my other pillows! Even covers at night time i have to take my blanket in the bed incase he steals them all as it wakes me up freezing cold

OP posts:
Original poster
ByDreamyLimeLurker · 24/12/2025 02:59

JustTalkToThem · 24/12/2025 02:58

You were being passive-aggressive. If you wanted to stay in bed - as you should - you should have said so.

I did 5 times over the period of 30 minutes, explained i needed him to scoot over as I want to have somewhat of a good sleep in my own bed.

OP posts:
HelenaWaiting · 24/12/2025 02:59

JustTalkToThem · 24/12/2025 02:58

You were being passive-aggressive. If you wanted to stay in bed - as you should - you should have said so.

Sure, because some big ape flinging his body on top of a pregnant woman is fine.

fitnessmummy · 24/12/2025 03:01

id give him such a kick where the sun don’t shine and pretend to be asleep!

You could get one one those long body shape pillows to seperate the bed and stop him coming on to your side

IhadaStripeyDeckchair · 24/12/2025 03:01

Wow
He sounds like a prince
He needs to fuck off your the spare room/ sofa

In no circumstances should a heavily pregnant woman be leaving the bed.

Nearly50omg · 24/12/2025 03:02

He’s VERY well
aware of what he is doing to you! Leave now while you can or if it’s your house throw him out!!! He is abusing you and many abusing men start abusing their partners during pregnancy so put yourself and your baby first and don’t bother going for counselling - you should NEVER have mediation with an abusive man

Original poster
ByDreamyLimeLurker · 24/12/2025 03:03

fitnessmummy · 24/12/2025 03:01

id give him such a kick where the sun don’t shine and pretend to be asleep!

You could get one one those long body shape pillows to seperate the bed and stop him coming on to your side

I really love this idea thank you for sharing as I hadnt thought of it! No doubt will roll on top of me yet again tomorrow night so I will do this and be sure to update you!

OP posts:
Original poster
ByDreamyLimeLurker · 24/12/2025 03:06

IhadaStripeyDeckchair · 24/12/2025 03:01

Wow
He sounds like a prince
He needs to fuck off your the spare room/ sofa

In no circumstances should a heavily pregnant woman be leaving the bed.

I try so hard to never use the "because im pregnant" but i feel in situations like this its totally acceptable as I dont get opportunity to sleep during the day with my other little boy and he works until 10pm, i probably wouldn't have an issue at all if I could atleast get a small power nap in

OP posts:
Mothership4two · 24/12/2025 03:26

I think this really odd behaviour and attitude towards your pregnant partner. You are at the stage OP when getting comfy and sleep is getting trickier. Being rested (as much as possible) is important when you have so many demands on your body.

Maybe I find it so odd because of my DP. In his sleep he will reverse up to me to spoon in a backward thrust kind of way and I get bumped by his bum in my stomach - can be annoying if it wakes me up. However, during my pregnancies, he never did it - guess it was a subconcious thing. The fact is your partner is being a knob to you when he's awake OP. Like other posters have said, he should be the one moving to sleep and not be aggy.

W0tnow · 24/12/2025 03:29

I think for a king sized bed you can probably have two king single sized duvets? It won’t solve all of your problems but each person has their own covers.

Justchilling07 · 24/12/2025 03:30

fitnessmummy · 24/12/2025 03:01

id give him such a kick where the sun don’t shine and pretend to be asleep!

You could get one one those long body shape pillows to seperate the bed and stop him coming on to your side

Yes, a long body shaped pillow, good idea.
As it’s really not good, to wake up, hanging off the side of the bed, due to the other person, has completely taken over the bed, especially when pregnant!

IsItSnowing · 24/12/2025 08:28

He may or may not be doing it on purpose. The fact he also steals pillows and blankets suggests it’s on purpose to me. He’s actively making you uncomfortable.

But anyway since he does know he’s doing it he should take some action himself and sleep elsewhere.

You shouldn’t be having to sleep on the sofa. He sounds really selfish and uncaring.

Original poster
ByDreamyLimeLurker · 24/12/2025 09:25

UPDATE: spoke to him about it and hes said hes sleeping downstairs tonight.

I took a really gentle approach when bringing this up explaining im just letting him know what he was upto lastnight as he was obviously in a deep slumber and doesnt even know what happened. Its resulted in me being told hes sick of "everyone". Asked him to see it from my point of view and to not spit the dummy out but hes now giving me the silent treatment. Genuinely gutted. No idea what to say to him next.

OP posts:
toomuchfaff · 24/12/2025 09:29

Seems like you chose a prince amongst men to procreate with who places your well being at the top of the world's priority...

You're already walking on eggshells, choosing how to phrase things because he will react like a manchild

Good luck it will only get worse

Idontjetwashthefucker · 24/12/2025 09:31

"There's the door, use it" would be what I'd be saying next

Firefly100 · 24/12/2025 09:35

I agree with others that his attitude is appalling and actually your bigger issue. However to respond to the question you asked, I sleep with a bed hogger and a long pillow separater down the centre together with separate duvets fixes most of the problems.

Justchilling07 · 24/12/2025 09:36

toomuchfaff · 24/12/2025 09:29

Seems like you chose a prince amongst men to procreate with who places your well being at the top of the world's priority...

You're already walking on eggshells, choosing how to phrase things because he will react like a manchild

Good luck it will only get worse

Edited

Op’s pregnant! She doesn’t need comments like that!

StepawayfromtheLindors · 24/12/2025 09:40

A decent man would apologise profusely if he ever once in his sleep rolled over on top of his heavily pregnant partner and sleep in a different for the rest of the pregnancy so you can sleep peacefully and not worry about a man lying on your precious bump.

Sorry OP but he’s horrible. I can’t understand his response to you at all.

Flowerslamp · 24/12/2025 09:40

Isn't the point that he's asleep valid? Presumably he's moving in his sleep the maybe always had but now youre taking up more space?

No one's going to be at their best immediately after being woken during the night.

You need to talk about your sleeping arrnagements during the day.

I mean, if you think he's deliberately lying on top of his pregnant wife....