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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there should be more positive narratives for men and boys

101 replies

MarieCelestial · 23/12/2025 23:06

I would never argue that the highlighting of all of the bad and in some cases illegal things some men have done to women, individually and collectively, is anything other than a good thing. Metoo was a crucial social chance for change which was partly grasped.

I do however try to empathise with the position of, say an 18 year old male young person today, in a western country, They are bombarded with toxic nonsense from criminals like Andrew Tate. Almost all the things they hear through social media may be highly negative about men and masculinity.

Would it not be an idea for there to be more creativity about how male especially make heterosexual behaviour is presented, including, and not exclusively on TV.
Take the recent Eastenders storyline about a young boy committing violence and behaving egregiously to women. All well and good to present and examine this behaviour. In the same programme you have a deeply violent alcoholic character Phil Mitchell whose very violence seems to attract a string of attractive women to him. The protector syndrome perhaps? Either way, he is an awful person. Yes, ok, he is not exactly someone to model yourself on, but where oh where are the counterweights. Name me a male character in a film or tv show who has interacted (especially in an unconventional way) well. Not perfectly, but well?

OP posts:
GaIadriel · 29/12/2025 19:27

JHound · 29/12/2025 18:21

Men control the narrative of how men are presented.

Women have no part in it.

Hard disagree.

When wealth, power, and status are prioritised by a significant amount of women it will affect how men act and portray themselves.

No doubt most of us would prefer an engaged and decent partner rather than an arsehole but when practicalities are taken out of the equation a lot of women are pretty dismissive of 'nice guys'.

I'd imagine a large part of this is evolutionary as well because at the basest survival level we want somebody that can actually provide which at one point would've required dominance and the ability to take.

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