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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you were told your life ended tomorrow

137 replies

Turkeysahoy · 23/12/2025 21:34

Would you feel you have lived a fulfilled life?

Inspired by a post I have just read which made me think.

I am 34 and would answer No at this moment in time. As I’ve stayed in a career I dislike for too long and haven’t been as carefree as I would have liked. Things I hope to change of course.

How about you?

OP posts:
silkyfilament · 24/12/2025 00:06

travailtotravel · 23/12/2025 21:45

I've had an incredible life. And I know more good things will come. But if it really were to end tomorrow, it would be a relief right now.

I think this is how I feel. I’m grateful for all the fun and the laughs. The great sex and the love I experienced. The travelling, the wonderful people I met along the way who changed my path, all of it.

But I don’t see it improving and I think my fun days are over. I’m just glad I had what I had.

4forksache · 24/12/2025 00:08

When I was facing possible death, the only thought I had was “at least I’ve had a good life”

RubyMentor · 24/12/2025 00:10

@LadyMacbethWasFierce I’m so sorry for your loss

MsSmartShoes · 24/12/2025 00:10

I would be very worried about the welfare of youngest DC, but I’d be selfishly relieved to know that majority of my problems would die with me.

Smidge001 · 24/12/2025 00:14

@EmeraldRoulette wow, your post completely resonates with me (Just replace mum with dad). Hopefully our 50s will bring some life/energy back, and the enthusiasm to create new achievements and experience new things.

Just not sure how to suggest that while existing responsibilities remain.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 24/12/2025 00:16

I kind of like the idea of it being so tragically sad and everyone saying wonderful things about me. For me the saddest thing is the very old person who has outlived every person who knew them when they were young and no one has any recent funny stories or happy memories of them to share.

financialcareerstuff · 24/12/2025 00:20

I don’t think I’d mind atall. Which is bizarre because I’m happy and healthy. But I do feel I’ve had an amazing life already- very rich. And I’m kind of tired! Interestingly, I wouldn’t mind leaving my DD16 either. Again, love her utterly and she’s wonderful. But I would be gone so wouldn’t miss her, and she’s happy right now with what I imagine is a lovely life ahead….. I guess I’d be happy slipping away with that being the last impression- rather than risk fall outs or seeing her go through tragedies or pain- I would find that very very hard. I guess me dying would be a tragedy but for myself, Selfishly, I wouldn’t need to worry. For her, I’d feel bad going.

my only regret if I died right this minute is I’ve had a very rare argument with DH and we are being frosty with each other as we aren’t in a private place we can talk it through. It would be a real shame to die frosty, when it’s so not how we normally are. 🥴

EmeraldRoulette · 24/12/2025 00:25

@Smidge001 thank you
Sorry you have the same
It's complicated, isn't it? I don't feel bad about the decision but I suppose on some level I must do or I would not be typing this!

i've at least made peace with the fact that I am not somebody who can do a big career and caring at the same time. I think I have anyway 🤔

I was actually wondering if there were any books to help out on this. Obviously when it all started in my early 40s, I took the decision because I did not think it would go on this long. It certainly been a bizarre emotional journey.

And being 50 next year feels like too late to start anything - not least because I don't have the enthusiasm. But that's partly to do with the tech technological takeover of everything. The skills that have helped me build a career are rapidly going out of date and I'm not hugely interested in anything that I could make a career out of.

And I do think career is a really big deal. Not for everyone of course. But for me, if I get hit by a bus tomorrow, my regret would be lack of achievement.

TheFormidableMrsC · 24/12/2025 00:35

I’ve had an interesting life but a huge amount of trauma, stress and an incidence of cancer. I think I’d be mightily pissed that I didn’t have longer to enjoy without all of those things, not to mention my young disabled teen to whom I am a lone parent. Fulfilled? Maybe to an extent. I feel I’ve got more to give and experience so I hope I have at least another happy and healthy 30 years.

SumUp · 24/12/2025 00:38

At 34, my answer would have been no also. But as someone semi retired, yes. You’ve got time to change things.

Jonnyenglish · 24/12/2025 00:40

yes, i do wish i had some things i did differently eg like the show sliders and different alternative realities. but overall id think fair play.

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/12/2025 00:41

I’ve had a fabulous life.
Would like much more of the same.
what a great question,

HelpMeGetThrough · 24/12/2025 00:43

Almost happened to me last year. I’m good with it.

batsh1ttery · 24/12/2025 00:44

Nope, and never will feel like that, never fulfilled. Plus I’d be leaving my DD in the middle of a shitstorm for the rest of her life. I’d get the grim reaper by his non skeletal balls. Just me, yeah, don’t be a tease. Leave DD? You’ll tear me away from life kicking and screaming.

ZenNudist · 24/12/2025 00:44

I'd be pretty pissed off that my death would ruin Christmas for my friends and family this year and in years to come.

I've lived life pretty well. I'd have liked to go to a few more places.

LadyMacbethWasFierce · 24/12/2025 00:48

Thank you for the kindness on this thread. I had hesitated to post for fear of de-railing. But I’m not doing much else at the moment in the evenings but scrolling on my phone (I don’t have the concentration for “proper” reading and can’t watch TV as so much of it is triggering in some way).

And on reflection I think there might be a tiny slice of something important in my answer to the OP’s post - and that’s just to enjoy every day as much as you can. We don’t have as much capital behind us as we might have done (late 50s, decent careers) and we don’t have a whole lot of stuff either or fancy cars, but we had a lovely time and did some fun and cool things and I’m glad DD got to experience all that. She was an extraordinary young woman (an artist and a primary school teacher and full of joy). She had a fulfilled life. Even though it was far far too short.

Blessings to you all. And thank you for your kindness.

XWKD · 24/12/2025 00:57

I don't think I'd be bothered. I think the effect my death would have on some others would upset me, but for me, yeah whatever...

Nsky62 · 24/12/2025 01:00

I’d be upset, my life is uncertain with mid stage Parkinson’s, tough, I get by , often with aches and mobility, if I couldn’t cope I’d be glad.
would like to meet my new grand baby in July, who knows what the future holds

Dollybantree · 24/12/2025 01:02

Well at least I wouldn’t have to cook Christmas dinner…

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 24/12/2025 01:07

i have lived a pretty fulfilled life but
..who is going to cook the Christmas dinner 😳

Fidgety31 · 24/12/2025 01:10

No I haven’t fulfilled enough of my life to leave it yet .
I’ve done may things but I have never felt truly loved … and I would like to experience that .

StopBothering · 24/12/2025 01:17

I make art and could do so, and want to do so, forever. For this reason, I'm pissed off that there is an endpoint to life.

Otherwise, I'm rather stoic about it all.

EmeraldRoulette · 24/12/2025 01:26

StopBothering · 24/12/2025 01:17

I make art and could do so, and want to do so, forever. For this reason, I'm pissed off that there is an endpoint to life.

Otherwise, I'm rather stoic about it all.

Isn't there a quotation about this?

"the thing about art is that life is no longer meaningless". No idea who said that but I can totally believe that. It's the kind of passion I wish I had. I think it must be amazing to feel that way about something.

JMSA · 24/12/2025 01:28

I’d be angry and would feel shortchanged. I’m a single mother and obviously adore my children. But I’m looking forward to one day getting my life back. I just want to live alone. No kids, no pets, not even a potted plant to look after! I’m exhausted.

lobeydosser · 24/12/2025 02:24

@LadyMacbethWasFierce
Thank you for coming back and telling us just a little about your lovely daughter. Know that our hearts go out to you. It must still be so horribly raw.

And you did answer the question - she did have a fulfilled life. It's clear from your words just how much you cherish her.
I for one will be heeding carefully what you wrote "And on reflection I think there might be a tiny slice of something important in my answer to the OP’s post - and that’s just to enjoy every day as much as you can"

You and your family will certainly be in my thoughts. I wish you continued strength in the days ahead.