DH and I have 3 children, DS1 is 28, DS2 is 25 and DD is 20. This year we are doing Christmas a little bit differently, both my mum and DHs dad passed away this year, now neither of us having living parents. For so many years Christmas has centred around the needs of small children then elderly parents and I just did not feel up to hosting a big Christmas. DS1 got engaged this year and he and his fiancée bought their first flat, they offered to host for us instead. They live in London, we live up north so it’s very different.
We gave DD the option of spending it with us or doing her own thing but made it clear what the plan was from the offset, she has a boyfriend of over a year and he invited her to his for Christmas but she doesn’t like his parents so declined.
We paid for DDs train, covered all the Airbnb costs (DS and his fiancée only have a 2 bed and the second room is small so we decided it better we stay in an Airbnb near by). We told her about all the plans in advance, have included her wants in the plans and she could have easily opted out of anything that didn’t interest her.
Yesterday we arrived in London and we spent the afternoon doing our own thing, DD chose to spend this shopping, we told her it would be hectic but she insisted. We then went to winter wonderland which was DDs request.
This morning we all met for brunch, this afternoon we are doing our own thing and then this evening we are going to the ballet.
Tomorrow we are having a lazy morning, going iceskating in the afternoon then to DS’s as his fiancée isn’t British and in her culture their main Christmas meal is on Christmas Eve. She is going to cook for all of us but the meal will be late as is normal in her culture.
Christmas Day we are going to DS’s in the morning for a light brunch and gift swapping then DH and I have booked and paid for a really lovely Christmas dinner out, evening no plans but likely a Christmas film.
Boxing Day we are meeting up with DHs old uni friends who happen to be DDs godparents, but it’s a very low pressure, drinks in the pub day.
Then train back on Sunday.
I appreciate it’s a pretty full on week with lots happening but DD was consulted in and made fully aware of the plans in advance, everyone has had their input on what we do (so DD wanted winter wonderland, I wanted a nice meal in a lovely restaurant on Christmas Day, DS2 wanted ice skating, DH wants to see his uni friends and DS1 well he just wanted us to join in with his fiancées Christmas meal, his fiancée wanted ballet.
Since we stepped on the train yesterday DD has been moaning non stop, Londons too busy, she doesn’t want to go to the ballet, ice skating isn’t her idea of fun, she doesn’t want a big meal on Christmas Eve or dinner at 9pm, she doesn’t want to eat in a restaurant, she doesn’t want to see DHs friends. It’s non stop. I’ve told her she can stay in the Airbnb if she wants, she said no that’s boring and why couldn’t we just have done Christmas at home. Currently her complaint is that she doesn’t want to go to the ballet as it’s dull and she doesn’t understand why anyone would enjoy it, I’ve told her she is welcome to not join us but since DS and his fiancée paid for the tickets, she has to tell them herself and it will come across as rude to cancel without a good reason after the tickets have been purchased.
DD is the youngest child and the only girl so I think she is used to Christmas revolving around her and being a little spoiled. I understand that Christmas is heavily tradition focussed and I’m sure next year I’ll go back to hosting but I was rather looking forward to doing something different, less pressure on us and an opportunity to welcome DS’s fiancée to the family properly by participating in her idea of Christmas. DD however is making it utterly miserable.
AIBU to tell her to quit the moaning and either stay in the Airbnb alone or join us and try to have fun?