Child in nursery today and tomorrow 8am til 6pm

[Motheroffive999]

Who's children are still in nursery today and tomorrow.

My daughter in law is working 8 til 6 pm today and tomorrow in the local nursery for babies from 6 weeks to 4 year old pre schoolers.

They have maybe 10 children in each room still, this close to Christmas.

Most have older siblings and they drop off saying they are not working but want a nice chilled day at home.

I know some parents have to work but most are at home.

These are years that they won't get back with their children , I know that they need to do last minute prep etc but leaving children at nursery until 6pm on Christmas Eve is such a shame for the children and the staff.
Am I being unreasonable?

To all those people saying they need a break for their mental health. Do you ever think that maybe your child needs a break from nursery from time to time for their mental health? Those places are loud and chaotic and being in that kind of environment for prolonged periods really does take its toll on their little nervous systems.

Do you ever think that you should just wind your neck in and stop trying to make other people feel bad?

And no, this isn't a defensive response - my dd is an adult now and we never needed to put her into a nursery in any case.

Another shit and run thread. Drop a controversial topic/viewpoint then no further responses

why would you feel bad if you are confident you are making the right choice?

I am not feeling bad my kids had to go to nursery, if nothing else it's very important to socialise and get ready to start primary school. Even if I had been at home, I believe mine would have missed out if they had stayed home until they started actual school.

The only ones who feel bad are the ones who know that they're not doing anything in the interest of the children and deep down feel guilty about not being interested in their kids.

I'd have more sympathy for SAHM who need a break from their kids than parents who work and already see little of them but try very hard to see the kids even less when they could.

You and your goady friends have done an ugly, sneery little pivot to try to make this about working women being selfish by having mental health days or rest days. This may happen at the margins but this is not what childcare is about in the vast majority of scenarios. Its about the need to work to provide for your children.

No one signs their kids up to childcare because they want rest days or mental health breaks. They do it because they need to work. They may then take advantage of the infrastructure on odd occasions when they are sick, stressed or overwhelmed.

If you are a SAHM and you are under the weather or behind on Christmas prep or whatever you presumably would not beat yourself up if you asked the child’s grandparents to look after him or her for a few hours. A woman who has paid childcare in place but no grandparents around will use the childcare setting.

What is the difference?

You are trying to position this as some act of pampered self indulgence. Its goady and dishonest.

@SillyNavyTiger

why would you feel bad if you are confident you are making the right choice?

We don’t feel bad. I certainly don’t: I didn’t have a choice. But I am not going to sit back and let people who don’t know what they are talking about lay into people who have fewer choices than them.

Children don't spend 24/7 in nursery. And they do get a break, weekends, holidays non-working days.

Also maybe have some fucking empathy? Are mums meant to be robots now and not take ANY time for themselves?

Children have regular breaks from nursery such as weekends. ''Those places'' are also not all the same, I wouldn't describe the nursery I use as consistently loud and chaotic at all.

Feck me, I think this is one of the nastiest, most judgemental threads I’ve ever read on mumsnet, and that’s saying something.

Merry Christmas everyone 🙄. Hope the glow of your superiority keeps you warm and cosy atop your high horses.

Isnt it just. Spiteful, narrow minded, judgemental and stupid.

Regarding your second point, you’re not really there apart from drop off and pick up to see for yourself. It’s impossible for it not to be chaotic and loud when you have multiple babies and toddlers in a room.

Yes I remember this having to take down all of the displays and deep cleaning.

I see. And I take it you've been in EVERY nursery to know that this is the case.

Our nursery had small numbers and the baby and toddler rooms weren't noisy or chaotic.

It might suprise you to know that given there are numerous nurseries around the country that not all of them are the same.

@TJk86 You are perfectly entitled to give your opinion on nurseries but why are you bothered if others use them? Why care?

Ok so parents can’t handle one child and need mental health breaks from them because they are so full on and hard work, yet they claim a room full of small children is a peaceful, zen environment. Make it make sense.

It’s a forum, people express their opinions on various things. Why do you care about what others think of nurseries?

Your post makes absolutely no sense.

Firstly I'm not a nursery worker handling more than child at once. Last time I checked not all the children belonged to me and i didnt need to look after them all once. The number of children in a room at nursery is a completely seperate issue from a mother's mental health. And it's taking breaks once in a while for their mental health is what enables mums to stop being burnt out and cope with their children.

And yes not all nurseries are busy but no one said about them being a "peaceful zen environment". My own home isn't like that with two under 3.

And you don't like nurseries and don't have mental health issues. Good for you! But people like you need to take a good look at yourself. Sitting in your high chair, sneering at others who have suffered mental health and require to use nurseries for whatever reason they need to. Absolutely shameful.

Honestly you’re all making parenting sound so bleak and depressing. Yeah it’s hard work sometimes (like a lot if things in life) but you’re making it out to be this traumatic thing you have to get away from. I have small children at home but can’t relate to this way of thinking at all so maybe this is why I find it so odd.

Can you please reference where I've said I've made it out to be bleak, depressing and a traumatic thing to get away from?

I've said I have had PND and have used the occasional day at nursery to get time to myself. I have also made plenty clear that I also work compressed hours so I have a day off to spend TIME with my children and have also used annual leave to take my children on holiday.

If you seem to get from that, that I find parenting always bleak, depressing and traumatic then you seriously need help for your complete lack of comprehension.

And do you know what. There are those that find parenting bleak, depressing and traumatic. You have NO idea of people's individual circumstances. There are single parents out there with absolutely no support system. People parenting children with significant complex needs or disabilities. People who have developed significant mental health after birth that they haven't recovered from. People living in poverty.

And because no one has a crystal ball, there are those that have found parenting very hard for a number of other reasons.

Just because you can't relate to the feeling and seemingly don't face the same challenges, it doesn't mean others don't. People are entitled to feel how they feel without you telling them how it should be.

The nastiness, lack of empathy and comprehension you and others have shown on this thread is breathtaking.

I took my kids to my mums for 3 hours this morning so I could clean the house a bit and wrap the last of their presents. I literally do everything else as their dad is pretty useless. I’m sure some of you will want to raise the pitchforks but the reality is, ive taken off 2.5 days of annual leave this week to be with them so that’s less time for the rest of the year. As someone said upthread, working parents only get a finite amount of annual leave so if it’s not being used now then it’ll be used at another time.

You seem to be anti childcare on any thread you frequent which is why I am asking.

Love to see you have a week with my three year old autistic son. You might realise why I want a break and him going to nursery! It is hard and relentless.

I wouldn't feel bad and never did feel bad about the decisions that I made regarding the care of my dd when she was younger. I was confident that she was thriving and didn't give a toss about what anyone else might think. And now that she is an adult, I have zero regrets.

But some people do feel bad. Perhaps because they doubt their choices. Perhaps because they feel bad that they have no choice. Perhaps because society tells them that they should feel guilty. Or whatever.

It's pretty sad that some posters are so determined to shit on other people's parenting. I can only assume that those who try to guilt trip other parents are probably trying to overcompensate for their own insecurities.

You aren't there at all though. Not all nurseries are the same and you act as if they are.

Is it sometimes loud and chaotic? Of course
Is it always loud and chaotic with no chance of quiet time/calm activities? Not at all.