Child in nursery today and tomorrow 8am til 6pm

[Motheroffive999]

Who's children are still in nursery today and tomorrow.

My daughter in law is working 8 til 6 pm today and tomorrow in the local nursery for babies from 6 weeks to 4 year old pre schoolers.

They have maybe 10 children in each room still, this close to Christmas.

Most have older siblings and they drop off saying they are not working but want a nice chilled day at home.

I know some parents have to work but most are at home.

These are years that they won't get back with their children , I know that they need to do last minute prep etc but leaving children at nursery until 6pm on Christmas Eve is such a shame for the children and the staff.
Am I being unreasonable?

Some parents have to work. A lot of them won’t spend Christmas Day with their children either due to work.

If they aren’t working on Xmas Eve and still
send them to nursery all day….I’m trying….. it’s coming……nope. Can’t seem to muster a solitary fuck over what someone else wants to do.

Oh, and I fucking hate all the “these are the years you won’t get back” sentimental bollocks. Bills need to be paid and guess what, some people are better parents when they have had a break. If they want a chill day at home when their child is at nursery, good for them.

Exactly, what else are you supposed to do if you're still at work?!
I'm sure they'd much rather be at home together!

Reasons my child is in nursery Christmas Eve and the day before

• normal working days. I’m at work so what exactly would you like me to do instead. Some jobs have to carry on as normal - ie I’m a medical professional and also working Xmas day
• I’ve paid for it and will have to pay for it the whole day regardless of whether my child attends or not
• nursery will be closed the next ten days so yes I will maximise childcare considering I have had to take annual leave the rest of the time to manage its closure
• if they don’t want me to bring my child they should close and not charge me
• I don’t even celebrate Christmas - not everyone does by the way

People can still want time to themselves and also enjoy spending time with their children. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

I've on many occasions kept my child in nursery while I have a day to myself and rested. Why on earth would I feel guilty or bad about having time to myself or resting which is essential to my health and wellbeing. I'm not prepared to burnout or make myself ill on the altar of motherhood.

Because we are supposed to be martyrs. Our only thought should be about spending every second with our children and “making memories.”

God forbid we do anything else.

(And I say that as someone who has been a SAHM for 23 years and who has spent every second of that time with my children. It has done me no good mentally. If I had my life over, it would be very different and I would have prioritised myself and been a much better parent for it, rather than the short tempered, resentful wreck that I am).

Fascinating you commented on what your DIL is doing but not your DS.

Women work OP, and some of us are also lone parents. I am working today like many of us are.

These posts are so so goady and unkind. They are the preserve of deeply small minded and smug people.

They are also deeply stupid. Who could actually fail to realise that most people working on Christmas Eve have to work as opposed to doing it for shits snd giggles.

The people who post this sort of shit know full well that the economy is heavily dependent on working mothers. They know full well that the NHS is largely dependent on working mothers to stay afloat. As is the teaching profession and retail and hospitality and many of our industries. They know full well that single parents have to work to support their children because know one else will.

They know full well that posting goady shit like “You’ll never get the time back!” (Wow, I didn’t think about that!) achieves absolutely nothing.

They post it because it gives them a sick little hit of superiority to feel they have some marginal advantage in the parenting Olympics. They may be vindictive, unkind and extremely limited in their imagination, but at least they’re not working Christmas Eve! Yay!

I always find it interesting that the same people crying "you'll never get these years back" and denouncing working mothers as career obsessed and not caring about children are in fact dependent on services which have a large proportion of working mothers.

I work in Older adult social work. 99% of our work force is women and a significant amount of us have young children in child care. We simply couldnt function if everyone took 5 years out their career. So unless all these people demonising working mothers are happy to look after their elderly parents/relatives at home with no support 24/7, then you should be thankful they are working mums out there. Some of whom have to work Christmas eve.

the comments are not about people working though. No one expect all the working women (or men) we see working on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dragging their children with them. it's actually a nightmare to be a working mum on Christmas Day because there is no childcare available!

The comments are about people who are off work, presumably don't spend that much time with their kids because they're generally busy working, but prefer to send them to childcare because they don't want to bother with them.

It's not about working mothers, it's about parents obviously resenting having their children and trying to spend as little time with them as they possibly can, that's sad.

Or it’s about keeping your child in a routine.

but yeah let’s blame those who use childcare and say it’s sad and make up some pathetic
reason for why and say they must resent their children all because they use childcare on a certain date.

What’s sad is how judgemental other women are and how desperate they are to demonise those who use childcare for whatever reason they have.

if you want to use childcare because you prefer your me-time, and have no interest in spending time with your little ones when you already don't see them much because you are busy working most day, at least own it.

We are not blaming, we are just factual. You can't have them at work with you, none of us can, and you don't want them around when you are not working.

that's all it comes down to, and yes, people have an opinion and wonder why a mum wouldn't want to be with them when she could.

I am pointing the irony of all the threads complaining about the dads at the weekends, when on this thread mums are exactly the same.

Ok, boomer.

@SillyNavyTiger

The comments are about people who are off work, presumably don't spend that much time with their kids because they're generally busy working, but prefer to send them to childcare because they don't want to bother with them.

But you can’t possibly know people’s reasons for using childcare! Thats the point. The OP confidently asserts that most of the parents of these children are at home. Based on her DIL tattling to her about customers (which is in itself nasty and unprofessional). She has no idea what is happening in these people’s lives and homes.

Its pure, unadulterated spite and judgement from small minded people desperately clawing for an inch of superiority.

But you can’t possibly know people’s reasons for using childcare!

I am only replying to the ones who pride themselves on sending the kids away so they can have their own day off in peace. I don't know what people do, I am just replying on what they're actually writing.

Boomer? care to explain what you are trying to say by "boomer"?

Why bother having kids is a standard boomer phrase.

I understand it's a stereotype and mine is based on MIL and DM but still. Fucking irritating.

So taking that comment at face value (and I don’t buy this but let’s run with it…)

Let’s say you are a working mum who hasn’t had time to do any Christmas shopping or food prep because you have been ill or working and you use childcare you have already paid for, in a safe environment with trusted people, to allow you to do these last minute chores. Enabling small children who are barely aware what Christmas is to play in a supervised setting.

And because you don’t have to do this you think you are morally superior, as someone who has the economic luxury of taking these days off? Because you are in a fortunate position (for whatever reason) of not having to jump to an employer’s tune, because you are lucky enough to have some degree of control over the time you spend with your family, you think you get to feel better than them?

Why do you think your economic situation makes you better than someone who hasn’t had the luck of being supported to be at home?

Its a strange, almost Dickensian outlook on the world where the well-to-do get to be smug and sanctimonious about those without your economic fortune.

Keep your ill-informed judgement to yourself.

you are not making any sense.

What does "economic luxury" have to do with a woman who chose to be with her child on her day off, as opposed to a woman who chose not to? 😂

because you are lucky enough to have some degree of control over the time you spend with your family
they're both off, so they have exactly the same control over the time they spend.

You don't want your child around when you do chores, and/or prepare Christmas, other women do. Literally nothing whatsoever to do with your economic situation.

Are you trying to convince someone or yourself that you are a victim of society of something?

You know perfectly well, because it’s been explained to you many times on here, that if people are using childcare while they are at home it’s because they have things to do which they have not been able to do before or which they will struggle to do with children around.

The economic luxury refers to the fact its an economic privilege to be able to choose not to work or choose when you work. If you’re a single parent (as I was), or someone working with an employer with limited flexibility or someone who has been unwell or has had caring obligations you don’t always get to choose to spend every waking minute with your children. As you are well aware but are choosing to pretend not to understand.

If you insist on judging me, I am at home baking with my kid as I type because I am very lucky to have been able to take this week off. Something which hasn’t happened to me for nearly ten years because I have been bringing my daughter up alone.

Millions of people don’t have this privilege.

It's not bollocks- I'm a childminder and have parents who do this. However, they've paid for care and it's none of my business what they do with their day..

However, it's a little sad when I find out that parents are taking an older sibling to see Santa but leaving the younger one with me....

When mine goes for his free hours I love it. 👍 Cup of tea in peace!

it’s because they have things to do which they have not been able to do before or which they will struggle to do with children around.

and you know perfectly well that other people still want their children with them when they have the exact same things to do because they're just as busy if not more

its an economic privilege to be able to choose not to work or choose when you work.
again, nothing to do with anything

Stop pretending it's a "SAHM leisure mum thing" against "working mums"

We are talking about working mums, who have the same holiday allowance, the same hours in the say and some chose to be with their kids on their rare days off. Why are you trying to pretend mums who don't send kids to childcare on their days off only work part-time or not at all, and have all the time in the world to do everything? Who are you trying to convince? Yourself?

am at home baking with my kid as I type
what a lovely quality time you spend 😂

its an economic privilege to be able to choose not to work or choose when you work
great, but we are talking about choosing to be with your children when you do NOT work.

I've seen nothing here about parents resenting spending time with their children. Putting your child in childcare because you need a rest or a break doesn't mean you resent your child. In fact it's this space and break that can give people the energy they need to be better parents.

But people like yourself love to invent facts just to suit your narrative of working parents not wanting to spend time with their children.

I'm sure many people idolise this time where women stayed at home with their children. However there are plenty of studies that show despite mums work, they are still spending MORE time with their children than previous generations. So I can guarantee that the mums using childcare are still spending plenty quality of time with their children.

a lot less than the full-time working mums who do not send their kids to childcare on their rare days off, because they enjoy seeing them for a change.

I'm a full time working mum.

I don't have "rare days off". I work full time over four days so have 3 days off a week. I also get almost six weeks holiday a year.

And yes on my holidays, I send my child to nursery so I can get time to myself. But I've also taken them out and we have been on holiday etc. They also spend 3 days a week with myself including mornings and evening.

I had crippling PND to the point I was hospitalised. It was during my treatment that it was explained to me the benefit and how essential to my own health and to ensure I could function being a good mum to have time on my own and I have ensure I have carried this forward.

I make absolutely no apology for priotising my mental health. You don't know people's circumstances or why they might actually need a day to themselves. So perhaps get off your high chair and realise everyone's circumstances are different.