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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Opening presents on Christmas Day vs in front of the giver

88 replies

Arrien · 23/12/2025 13:09

DS is in his mid-twenties, for the first time ever he’s not coming home for Christmas, he and his girlfriend are celebrating with their friends at home. Yesterday we got a 2.5 hour train down to him and back to exchange gifts and have lunch with him and his girlfriend. I put a lot of thought into their gifts as did DH and for both of them we bought something that we knew they’d be thrilled to receive. To me part of the joy of gift giving is seeing them open their presents but DS insisted on keeping a hold of them until Christmas Day. We also took presents from grandparents and his brother so I understand not opening them, but I’d have liked to see them open the gifts we got them. I suggested twice we open the gifts now and DS kept saying no no keep them for Christmas morning.

AIBU to think it’s more fun to open gifts with the giver present than to wait and open them alone? DH thinks it’s not a big deal and it gives us an excuse to FaceTime them on Christmas morning. He also thinks DS might just be wanting some things to open on Christmas morning as his girlfriend is French so they are doing their gifts to each other on Christmas Eve after her french Christmas dinner.

When our kids were small we always had them open the gifts in front of the giver if it was reasonably close to Christmas (within about a week), so this a pretty new thing for DS to be passionate about.

OP posts:
ResusciAnnie · 23/12/2025 13:11

YANBU. I know you mentioned it twice but did you literally say ‘aw please, it’s so nice to watch someone opening their gift!’ ? I would have 😁 who are they even really waiting for?!

5128gap · 23/12/2025 13:13

I like to see people open their gifts, so would have been disappointed too. However once given the gift belongs to the receiver, so its their call unfortunately, and i can get why they want to save the pleasure. I do get it though. The first Christmas they're not with you can be harder than they realise.

NoSoupForU · 23/12/2025 13:13

It's his gift so he can open it as and when he chooses, no? Because it's about him and not about you?

I really really hate opening gifts in front of people because the pressure to react a certain way is fucking awful and I'd rather have no gift than endure it.

Arrien · 23/12/2025 13:15

ResusciAnnie · 23/12/2025 13:11

YANBU. I know you mentioned it twice but did you literally say ‘aw please, it’s so nice to watch someone opening their gift!’ ? I would have 😁 who are they even really waiting for?!

I did say that’s a shame I’d have loved to see you open it, but DH jumped into his defence and said it’s fine we can just FaceTime them on the day. I wish DH hadn’t said that though as we are hosting for 12 and I don’t know when I’ll be free on Christmas morning!

OP posts:
pilates · 23/12/2025 13:15

Sorry but I’m a saver until Christmas Day. I find it awkward opening presents in-front of the giver.

ColdAsAWitches · 23/12/2025 13:16

You're making his present all about you! Let him do it the way he wants. It's supposed to be a gift, not an obligation to act like a performing monkey about how grateful he is and how you're the best present-chooser ever!

Arrien · 23/12/2025 13:16

NoSoupForU · 23/12/2025 13:13

It's his gift so he can open it as and when he chooses, no? Because it's about him and not about you?

I really really hate opening gifts in front of people because the pressure to react a certain way is fucking awful and I'd rather have no gift than endure it.

It is his choice and I appreciate in the grand scheme of things it’s a very small thing to be bothered by! I’d have just liked to see them opening them and I’m sad we didn’t get that this year!

OP posts:
MrsDutchie88 · 23/12/2025 13:20

Sorry but, he's an adult, allow him to make his choices.

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 23/12/2025 13:20

I hate opening gifts in front of the giver as I feel pressure to react in a certain way.

Maybe he is starting his own traditions

ffsrealy · 23/12/2025 13:21

YABU.

Simplesbest · 23/12/2025 13:22

I actually get so fed up with this. I've got 5 kids, not all mine by birth. Grandparents especially always insist on giving gifts in person but don't see us Xmas day. So for about 2 weeks after Xmas they get their presents from grandparents and a few aunts in slow drabs. And then are annoyed if the kid isn't over joyed or says someone else got them the same thing. Giving a gift isn't supposed to be about yourself. Totally understand you like seeing it enjoyed but its not about the giver imo. I make sure everyone has their presents in advance ready to.open whenever is convenient for them.

Flowerslamp · 23/12/2025 13:23

My family has been spread far and wide since childhood. Presents delivered before Christmas always saved, if we see relatives after Christmas, opened in front of them.

MyCatStoleSausages · 23/12/2025 13:23

Another person who hates opening gifts in front of the giver. Even if I like the gift I've over thought the whole situation so much that I feel like I come across as fake. I'm not a performing seal. I'd rather not get a gift than be forced to perform for it tbh.

Allelbowsandtoes · 23/12/2025 13:24

I love giving gifts, I like to think I choose thoughtfully and its a pleasure to watch people open them - that being said, id never ask them to open a gift in front of me if they wanted to save it.

OP, you sound a bit like my mum and I really dislike the pressure she puts on me sometimes. Something to think about maybe.

Flowerslamp · 23/12/2025 13:24

I save anything I get given for Christmas Day because otherwise I'll have nothing to open at Chrisrmas. As an adult there's not much anyway!

Createausername1970 · 23/12/2025 13:26

I keep presents until the day, whether that is Christmas, Birthday, Anniversary, Easter etc.

To be honest, your post comes across as being all about you and what you want.

I don't think they did anything wrong.

Barnestine · 23/12/2025 13:30

Very controlling. Very minor issue in the grand scheme I think.

Fuckoffeasypeelers · 23/12/2025 13:30

Eurgh I hate the " I want to see your face" thing
A friend used to do this and it was so me me me and main character , very off putting and stressful to the point I would have preferred no gift at all.
Its lovely to have a little stash of gifts under the tree and to open them on Christmas Day

4forksache · 23/12/2025 13:32

I’d be disappointed too, but you can’t pressure anyone any more than what you did, so it is as it is. I do understand though.

Arrien · 23/12/2025 13:35

I just want to say, it’s not a big deal and I’m not suggesting it is! I was just disappointed! We aren’t starting a family war or being controlling! I think it’s fair that I’m allowed to express how I’d do things, they express how they want to do things and we reach a compromise!

OP posts:
Pranksters · 23/12/2025 13:35

I only open presents on Christmas Day.

skybluestars · 23/12/2025 13:36

Flowerslamp · 23/12/2025 13:24

I save anything I get given for Christmas Day because otherwise I'll have nothing to open at Chrisrmas. As an adult there's not much anyway!

This! It’s nice to have a few things to open as an adult on Xmas morning. If I opened everything as I received them from people - I’d have nothing on the morning. I also hate opening presents in front of people.

Missey85 · 23/12/2025 13:37

Sounds like he just wants some gifts to open on the day your his parents that's ok if he wants that why ruin his Xmas? You can wait a few days why does it matter 😊

Missey85 · 23/12/2025 13:40

Fuckoffeasypeelers · 23/12/2025 13:30

Eurgh I hate the " I want to see your face" thing
A friend used to do this and it was so me me me and main character , very off putting and stressful to the point I would have preferred no gift at all.
Its lovely to have a little stash of gifts under the tree and to open them on Christmas Day

Exactly why I hate getting presents I never know what I'm supposed to say besides thankyou 😊 ❤️

Abracadabra12345 · 23/12/2025 13:42

The fact that he wants to wait makes it even more special

I’ve never opened Christmas gifts in advance and the giver doesn’t expect me to. I mean that’s weird. It’s a Christmas present not a few-days-before/Christmas present