Opening presents on Christmas Day vs in front of the giver

[Arrien]

DS is in his mid-twenties, for the first time ever he’s not coming home for Christmas, he and his girlfriend are celebrating with their friends at home. Yesterday we got a 2.5 hour train down to him and back to exchange gifts and have lunch with him and his girlfriend. I put a lot of thought into their gifts as did DH and for both of them we bought something that we knew they’d be thrilled to receive. To me part of the joy of gift giving is seeing them open their presents but DS insisted on keeping a hold of them until Christmas Day. We also took presents from grandparents and his brother so I understand not opening them, but I’d have liked to see them open the gifts we got them. I suggested twice we open the gifts now and DS kept saying no no keep them for Christmas morning.

AIBU to think it’s more fun to open gifts with the giver present than to wait and open them alone? DH thinks it’s not a big deal and it gives us an excuse to FaceTime them on Christmas morning. He also thinks DS might just be wanting some things to open on Christmas morning as his girlfriend is French so they are doing their gifts to each other on Christmas Eve after her french Christmas dinner.

When our kids were small we always had them open the gifts in front of the giver if it was reasonably close to Christmas (within about a week), so this a pretty new thing for DS to be passionate about.

I actually hate opening gifts in front of the giver. I'm always afraid that I won't react pleased enough for them.

This will be me tomorrow as well. Hate it! Just a constant internal monologue of “am I smiling enough. Does it look forced?”

I hate opening gifts in front of people so always say I’ll save it for Christmas gift when I receive something before hand. In reality I don’t even save the gifts, I open them as soon as I’m alone and then just wait until Christmas Day to thank them, but it’s just less pressure for me that way.

I get uncomfortable opening things in front of people. I think it’s stems from childhood in all honesty as my sister is the same. Being stared at and questioned, hoping you’ll say the right thing and put on the right face. It’s backfired many a time over the years and it gives me anxiety. It’s too much for me so I collect my presents and open them on my own with DH. I send thank yous or call the people who give me gifts afterwards.

Again, as others have said, that's making it about you.
You'll get the thank you after he opens it. He's not 6 anymore.

Yabu. I like to save everything for Christmas Day because it's Christmas and that's when you are supposed to open them.

I hate the whole performance of opening presents in front of the giver and having to be enthusiastic even when the gift is totally inappropriate/clearly meant for someone else.
It was particularly bad one year when we got presents from one family member and every single one contained an ingredient either I or DP is allergic to. When we said, gently, we got 'oh I just thought you didn't like x'

YABU- I’m a save for Christmas Day person, otherwise we’d have hardly anything to open.

Christmas day here, once I hand a present to someone they own it and should be allowed to do what they want with it

I’m with the ‘keep to Christmas Day’ crowd. When I was single and lived away from family my parents would usually just send money so I even used to take the work secret Santa home (despite getting shit for it at work) as a couple of years it was literally the only gift I opened, so I wanted to do it on the day.

Urgh, we have a relative who never hands over gifts for our dc until after the day when they can see them opening them. This is the same for xmas and birthdays. If they gave amazing gifts I would perhaps understand, but they're often just cash in a card nowadays so really don't understand why they do this.

Not the same scenario obviously, but our dc don't get many things to open on the day so an extra card/gift can really make a difference

Omg ! He’s an adult . Surely the time to watch him open his gifts has passed ! - awkward or what ?

Why do you want a compromise?

You gave the gifts to him. They are his to do as he pleases with them.
They are Christmas presents, not 23rd of December presents.

He's an adult and has decided this is a boundary of his. Or he and his GF have decided this is the way they will do things from now on. They don't owe you the honour of doing things the way you have always had them done.

Respect the boundary. Do not call for a compromise. That's just you trying to erode a reasonable line in the sand to salvage some sense of winning, at the expense of your son and his girlfriend's vision of Christmas.