Page 3 | Would you spend Xmas away from your kids?

aCatCalledFawkes · 23/12/2025 11:52

There is no point in cancelling it when the kids can still have a nice Christmas if your not fit enough.
I would send you DH up with them and then I would follow on if you start to feel better.

Pancakeflipper · 23/12/2025 11:54

I'd send them to the in-laws and feel grateful they are out of the way. Flu is a miserable fucker. No point in them in them sat at home whilst you are in bed.

Heyhelga · 23/12/2025 12:13

In this case I'd 100% send the kids off with DH for the family Christmas and I would use the time at home to relax and recover.

Purplewarrior · 23/12/2025 12:14

I would say DH goes with DC but cuts it short?

DahlsChickenz · 23/12/2025 12:16

Aww OP I'm so sorry.

I think I would do presents on the sofa at yours, then send husband and kids off to in laws for a few hours while you watch a film and rest on the sofa, then get them to come back mid afternoon (ideally with leftovers) to have a chilled family evening.

Hope you feel better soon. Last year we had a total wash out for Christmas because my son had norovirus and was so ill. I was so sad at the time but ultimately it was just one day and we still really enjoyed the season.

Livpool · 23/12/2025 12:17

Send DH and the kids and you stay home. It would be unfair to make the children miss the usual celebrations when they aren’t sick

ShawnaMacallister · 23/12/2025 12:17

Stay home until/unless you feel better. It's not fair to make them all stay home and you aren't going to enjoy any of it anyway. Sad but this year they will have to enjoy it away from you.

littlemousebigcheese · 23/12/2025 12:20

If it’s actually flu the decision is made for you, you’ll be so poorly you literally can’t just get on with it and go. A dr once told me that real flu is when someone tells you there’s a million pounds on the doorstep and all you have to do is go and get it; real flu, you couldn’t. It stuck in my head ever since!
id miss them but tell them to go and have fun. Make a big deal when you’re back and better xxx

LittleBitofBread · 23/12/2025 12:27

DISCLAIMER I don't have kids, so am not going to claim I know how hard it would be to leave them for Xmas or that I think it would be fine.
But I did have serious flu some years ago and I know how disabling it is. I spent a week plus in bed – and not sitting up reading and feeling a bit sorry for myself, flat on my back, dreading needing the loo because I genuinely didn't think I could walk the six steps or so to get there.
I could not have gone to a multi-day massive Xmas activity extravaganza even for the million quid invoked.
Can you do FaceTime for present-opening and other nice moments? Could you go along in a couple of days' time if you're better?

JetSkiRental · 23/12/2025 12:29

It is just a day. Let them go and allow yourself to rest.

thegrinchwasontosomething · 23/12/2025 12:32

Was going to say stay at home, but since it’s a couple of nights, why not go, but stay in bed and just pop down for presents etc.

cancel the trip on 27th

wandererofthekingdom · 23/12/2025 12:40

I think I'd keep them at home until Christmas morning, do presents at home and then they can set off late morning and be there by lunchtime. That way they don't miss out and you see them. Get well soon.

Run30 · 23/12/2025 12:52

Stay home.

you need to rest
No one else wants your germs

The kids will be fed and entertained and you can sleep it off. They’ll get over it.

FilthyforFirth · 23/12/2025 12:52

You need to stay home and let them go, its the sucky but right decision. I hope you feel better soon, I've been ill on my own on Christmas day and its no fun.

Calamitousness · 23/12/2025 12:56

Send them without you. If you’ve truly got flu then you won’t care and need to just stay in bed and recover. Even if they were home you wouldn’t be able to join in. Let them have fun without you. At best. Ask if they could come home after Boxing Day and not stretch it out longer.

graceinc22 · 23/12/2025 13:00

If everyone wants you to go - and is therefore accepting the risk of getting flu - I would go. You can spend the time resting in your room and come down for what you can manage. You might be feeling loads better by Christmas Day.

RealChristmasBaby · 23/12/2025 13:31

Christmashitmas · 23/12/2025 09:50

Due to be at the in-laws tomorrow for a full itinerary of Christmas related trips, meals and visits. Christmas is massive in DHs family.
I’m ill. Cancelling will devastate the kids.
What would you do? Go and risk passing flu on and being miserable and alone in a guest bedroom, force everyone to stay home and be miserable with me or let DH take the kids and stay home alone and miserable?

it all feels very miserable.

Clearly I am in the minority here. I think it's very tough as it's a planned 5 day long extravaganza, that you will be left home alone and ill, with no one to check on you or make you a drink and bring you soup. I think it would be incredibly harsh for your whole family to bugger off for 5 days and leave to you to it, but that's just me. If it were me I would at least ask them to come home either boxing day night or first thing the next morning. TBH if my family upped and left me in that position I would feel very hurt and sad.

What if you developed pneumonia and there was no one there to help you? These things happen.

Obviously I am older with a different viewpoint, we never went away for Christmas, but I had flu one Christmas Day - the year my Mum died and I would not have coped without someone there to help and support me. All these suggestions of leaving you alone and ill at Christmas (for 5 days!!) seem incredibly strange to me.

BreakfastClubBlues · 23/12/2025 13:40

I think you should definitely let them go.

Yes, it's crap for you, but the kids will still have a great time.

Hopefully you'll feel well enough to join them in a few days.

4forksache · 23/12/2025 13:44

FaceTime and watch the kids opening their presents so you don’t miss out. FaceTime frequently through the day too.

canklesmctacotits · 23/12/2025 13:51

Aww, this is a nightmare scenario. Honestly, I’m
afraid I’d want the DC away from me, healthy and enjoying their Christmas. I would probably cancel some of the stuff on Boxing Day and after because there’s no need to be a martyr, you’ll feel better by then and should enjoy what you can. But Xmas Eve and day I’d send them off with DH and expect to see them on Boxing Day. They won’t enjoy it so much without you anyway, they’ll want to come home to check on you.

LittlePetitePsychopath · 23/12/2025 14:52

RealChristmasBaby · 23/12/2025 13:31

Clearly I am in the minority here. I think it's very tough as it's a planned 5 day long extravaganza, that you will be left home alone and ill, with no one to check on you or make you a drink and bring you soup. I think it would be incredibly harsh for your whole family to bugger off for 5 days and leave to you to it, but that's just me. If it were me I would at least ask them to come home either boxing day night or first thing the next morning. TBH if my family upped and left me in that position I would feel very hurt and sad.

What if you developed pneumonia and there was no one there to help you? These things happen.

Obviously I am older with a different viewpoint, we never went away for Christmas, but I had flu one Christmas Day - the year my Mum died and I would not have coped without someone there to help and support me. All these suggestions of leaving you alone and ill at Christmas (for 5 days!!) seem incredibly strange to me.

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Perhaps it is generational, or just based on life, but I’ve had both bad flu and pneumonia, with and without children; and I’d never expect anyone to pop up with soup. They’ll check in via text or call - they probably wouldn’t do much more than that if they were home, or they’ll all get the flu. And she’s likely to be asleep a lot.

I am very independent, and perhaps normality is somewhere between us, but she’s not being ditched on an alien planet. She can eat what she wants or order cooked food to the door; and they’d presumably come back if she wanted them too or they didn’t hear from her… It’s a shame but even OP admits that the kids are excited.

Iloveshihtzus · 23/12/2025 14:59

Let DH and kids go alone. Get your DH to leave you a fridge full of soup; some rolls; a freezer of ready meals and ice cream. Then stay in bed and recover.

BauhausOfEliott · 23/12/2025 16:01

let DH take the kids and stay home alone and miserable?

This would be my preference. It's the best option all round.

It would be rotten to cancel Christmas for everyone just because you're ill, so I don't think keeping everyone at home would be fair on the kids.

If you go to your in-laws, you will feel just as rough as you would at home alone - but with the added misery of being ill in someone else's house, which is always somehow worse than being ill at home. If you're home alone, at least you'll have peace and quiet, full control over the TV remote and you'll be able to curl up in your pyjamas and sleep when you need to, etc. Send your DH out now with a shopping list of things you think you might be able to manage to eat, paracetamol/ibuprofen, maybe some honey and lemons for throat-soothing hot drinks etc, and then just stay home and be as comfortable as possible.

BauhausOfEliott · 23/12/2025 16:12

What if you developed pneumonia and there was no one there to help you?

The far likelier outcome is that she won't develop pneumonia.

If she gets to a point where she feels so ill that she thinks something's badly wrong, she will either be able to get a taxi to A&E or call an ambulance. Pneumonia doesn't just happen in the blink of an eye. There will be quite some build-up of symptoms first.

PurpleThistle7 · 23/12/2025 16:14

Nope. I wouldn’t go. That’s a terrible gift. Can they reassess after a couple days and you meet up with them or they come pick you up if you’re feeling better?