Page 4 | Why are people offended if relatives give their DC money for Christmas?

SillyNavyTiger · 23/12/2025 12:55

Some people are dicks, truly.

People are doing a very nice thing, the kids are delighted, it's better than vouchers that always need a top-up, you don't waste money and disappoint the children by buying the wrong thing or a duplicate.

If anyone is offended because a friend or a relative offers a gift to their chid, there's absolutely no hope for them.

SillyNavyTiger · 23/12/2025 12:58

personally, when I was a child/young teen, I preferred presents, not money stuffed in an envelope or gift card. At that age I didn't want or need money.

but that's what parents are for! And parents can ask grand-parents to add specific gifts.

Anyone else is extra. Even a 5year old can be proud to walk in the gift shop of whatever attraction they are visiting and buy themselves something with their own money

BeaLola · 23/12/2025 13:01

My DS 17 would be very happy with money and has been since a teenager.

He is only child , nephew and grandchild - DF & DB prefer to buy a gift rather than just money - their choice but they tend to ask me what he would really like and often I willl buy it for them as I have more time - this year it's a special streaming microphone for his pc - I think they plan to give him t his and £50 cash

TwinklyNight · 23/12/2025 13:03

We do it. Then they hit the Boxing Day sales with friends which is a fun thing for younger & braver persons than me!

phoenixrosehere · 23/12/2025 15:01

Needspaceforlego · 23/12/2025 12:51

I think your looking back with rose tinted glasses. Yes you were happy to receive that stuff, but were crayons, another doll or teddy always used or needed?

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This exactly.

I come from a very large family, parents siblings in total was 13 and add grandparents and older cousins, it was at least 10+ presents every Christmas and my sister and I have birthdays less than 3 months from Christmas.

My mother did a massive de-clutter when my sister and I moved out and found a lot of gifts that we had received as kids that had been unwrapped but never been opened and had been sitting there for years. She complained about how much of a chore it was to get rid of them and how much money had to be spent/wasted. I remind her of this every time she asks why we don’t buy a bunch of toys when our kids were younger.

She is much better about it and I don’t mind giving a small list of things the kids would like and wrapping the gifts for family members. She asked middle what he wanted for Christmas and he kept saying his favourite foods which he gets every week , not one toy or book came out of his mouth because he is happy with what he has and I pick up books from the local library on Tuesdays so there is always new books in our home and we also have a box of books as well.

Growing up, I was happy to see my out of town family members more than getting presents since I only saw them a few times a year.

Then they hit the Boxing Day sales with friends which is a fun thing for younger & braver persons than me!

This is what I would do when I was younger.

Needspaceforlego · 23/12/2025 18:51

PaintingPenises · 23/12/2025 11:57

It also makes them (or at least mine) consider a lot more what they are buying if it’s “their” money they are spending! Easy to spend the parents’ money…..

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Totally very easy for them to spend other people's money. Or put stuff on a wish list because they know thats what parents expect.

Needspaceforlego · 23/12/2025 19:47

phoenixrosehere · 23/12/2025 15:01

This exactly.

I come from a very large family, parents siblings in total was 13 and add grandparents and older cousins, it was at least 10+ presents every Christmas and my sister and I have birthdays less than 3 months from Christmas.

My mother did a massive de-clutter when my sister and I moved out and found a lot of gifts that we had received as kids that had been unwrapped but never been opened and had been sitting there for years. She complained about how much of a chore it was to get rid of them and how much money had to be spent/wasted. I remind her of this every time she asks why we don’t buy a bunch of toys when our kids were younger.

She is much better about it and I don’t mind giving a small list of things the kids would like and wrapping the gifts for family members. She asked middle what he wanted for Christmas and he kept saying his favourite foods which he gets every week , not one toy or book came out of his mouth because he is happy with what he has and I pick up books from the local library on Tuesdays so there is always new books in our home and we also have a box of books as well.

Growing up, I was happy to see my out of town family members more than getting presents since I only saw them a few times a year.

Then they hit the Boxing Day sales with friends which is a fun thing for younger & braver persons than me!

This is what I would do when I was younger.

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I can't believe she waited until you moved out to have a clear out.

But sometimes its easy to put stuff back in a cupboard and say "I'll deal with that later".
There is definitely stuff in this house that should have been removed a 3/4 years ago.

Cantstopthenoise · 23/12/2025 19:57

I always used to get money from relatives I didn't see much of for Christmas and birthdays once I got to secondary school age, or vouchers from my Mum's uncle and aunty whom she wrote to (usually it was Marks and Spencer so my Mum would let us buy one small item and then use the change for whatever we wanted). My kids still get presents rather than money, although one is disabled and it can be difficult to know what to get her, and the younger one is around the age I was when I started getting money so that may happen before long. I think it is more helpful when people don't know what to get them or don't want to duplicate a gift, or they are unsure as to what is appropriate or "cool" at a certain age.

VikingLady · 23/12/2025 20:03

My mum transfers money to me to buy for my kids. She doesn’t know them that well, and that guarantees they’ll like it. I may suggest cash in future though.

This year I/she bought DD a manga t shirt that I’d never spend £15 on and DS gets a huge fake fur ushanka (Russian) hat with ear flaps.

SatsumaCandlesCloves · 23/12/2025 20:08

Money is king !
I love it when people give them money

Every year we have this with a close fiend i keep saying money money and they insist no
It's painful

Newname29 · 23/12/2025 20:09

Perfectly fine to give money. Mine are teens and like.buying their own things

everdine · 23/12/2025 20:17

I always liked receiving money from relatives. I had a great aunt who would give me a £1note! I just about remember the pound note, it was always a new, crisp one too!

Maybeishouldcrochet · 23/12/2025 20:58

I give my nieces and nephews money. Seriously their houses look like a toy shop.
However my nephew yesterday asked where his present is..... (I also haven't felt like thinking about gifts this year after death of father in September and a very difficult 6 months)....

phoenixrosehere · 23/12/2025 23:41

Needspaceforlego · 23/12/2025 19:47

I can't believe she waited until you moved out to have a clear out.

But sometimes its easy to put stuff back in a cupboard and say "I'll deal with that later".
There is definitely stuff in this house that should have been removed a 3/4 years ago.

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She actually waited until my younger sister moved out who is 6/7 years younger than me. I had been gone at least a decade by time she did this and lived in another country, 4,000 miles away.

She had moved things to the basement and it was out of sight, out of mind until the basement flooded with a few inches of water.

Needspaceforlego · 24/12/2025 10:57

phoenixrosehere · 23/12/2025 23:41

She actually waited until my younger sister moved out who is 6/7 years younger than me. I had been gone at least a decade by time she did this and lived in another country, 4,000 miles away.

She had moved things to the basement and it was out of sight, out of mind until the basement flooded with a few inches of water.

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I guess its easy to do that. I know there is stuff in my house that needs to go, esp stuff I think I should sell on.

HarryVanderspeigle · 24/12/2025 11:12

Money is a great present, then they can get what they want when they want. I still miss the days of relatives pressing a pound coin into my hand when we visit to be honest!

Isseywith2witchycats · 24/12/2025 11:19

With 9 grandchildren aged between 3 years old and 2 great grandsons to buy for getting what they want would be stress for me so I give money so they can buy what they want after Christmas

agathacrisps · 24/12/2025 11:43

Everyone likes cash they can spend on themselves

User8008135 · 24/12/2025 11:46

Eastie77Returns · 22/12/2025 22:37

I’ve seen several threads where a parent is upset that relatives have given their DC money for Xmas instead of an actual present. I’m now second guessing myself because I regularly give my godchildren and DC of close friends money for Xmas and birthdays once they reach their teens. I give toys to younger children I find it harder to buy specific gifts for older children even if I know what they are into so give cash or a voucher. Is it really considered thoughtless and lazy (two descriptions I’ve seen)??

DD is 12 and absolutely thrilled when she receives cash as a present. I’ve always just been very grateful to whoever has given it to her!

I prefer money as the kids have so many toys already, plus it always falls to me to brainstorm what toys to buy and where from as relatives want to know.

For my niblings, unless they are desperate for a certain toy or something like lego, I do a selection box, choc coins (something to open) and money.